I HEAR YOUR VOICE

 

I hear Your voice in empty silence

When loneliness envelops me;

I hear Your voice in violent storms

That plague Me in mortality;

I hear Your voice in my struggles

That never let me be;

I hear Your voice when You pilot me

On dangerous journeys of earthly seas;

I hear Your voice beckoning me

To stay the course because

You will never abandon me.

I hear Your voice getting closer

And more distinct on the narrow path

That leads me home to Thee.

I see Your arms wide open

Waiting to welcome me.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Be Not Afraid by LDS Book Store)

GLORIOUS GRACE

 

Some of my regular readers will know that I have been in acute pain for almost two years. The lessons I have learnt in that time have come deep and fast. For that alone my suffering has been worth it.

The doctors I consulted outlined the medical path which would end in surgery. I didn’t want to get to that point and over the counter pain medication was not doing much. Being heavily invested in scriptures, and having been impressed with healings in Jesus’ day, I decided that I would also be healed.

Even though I have not seen any miraculous healings in the Church, I reasoned we have the priesthood and there are many scriptures that speak of healing in our dispensation (D&C 35:8,9; 42:48-51). I became perplexed that we, the Church members rely more on the medical profession than we do on the priesthood and concluded that most of us lacked faith to be healed and I was going to be different. I fasted for three days and asked my ministering brother to heal me. The blessing came but without a healing. I had five subsequent priesthood blessings over time and no healing. I concluded that none of the brethren had the courage to say: “rise up and walk” (Acts 3:6).

From there I decided to appeal to God to heal me himself. I was certain that we had the right to be healed just like people of the past and one day I would wake up without pain. Months went by and no healing and I was getting worse but I kept persisting thinking all I needed was the faith of the Brother of Jared…..I was sure I did not need to go down the medical path.

When I started questioning God and His mercy for me then a certain scripture came to me with incredible force: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5). I knew straight away that I had mis-understood. With that realisation came the proper understanding in two parts.

The first was that the miracles of the past had a specific purpose for that time and that today we cannot be ‘a Church of miracles’ as some evangelical ministries claim today. If we were, people would flock to the Church exclusively for this purpose and not for the eternal truths and salvation the Church represents. Even in His day, Jesus admonished some who were healed to ‘tell no man’ (Matthew 8:4; 9:30) and rebuked some for coming to Him for this purpose alone.

The second was about grace which came to me in the form of another scripture: “it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” (2 Nephi 25:23). I understood in that moment that I had not done all that I “could do” by seeking all the available help and understanding of my condition. I didn’t want to put in any of the work needed on my part. I wanted the magic wand.

The second part was the most important lesson of all. All that I was taught was not really about miracles or healing. God merely used this stage of my life to teach me about grace for one reason….He wanted me to remember on my darkest days when mortal exhaustion of pain sets in and I am tempted to distrust my power of endurance, that grace will only secure my salvation in the end ‘after all I can do’…….this was about enduring to the end….no matter what….at all cost.

I still believe in miracles because I believe in the God of miracles who is the same yesterday, today and forever and ‘ceaseth not to be God’….(Mormon 9:8-10,19)

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Reflections of Grace by Ivan Guaderrama)

A GLORIOUS HOPE

 

“When we go out of this life, leave this body, we will desire to do many things we cannot do at all without the body. We will be seriously handicapped and we will long for the body; we will pray for early reunion with our bodies. We will know then what advantage it is to have a body….” (Melvin J. Ballard, “Crusade for Righteousness” p 213)

I have never much appreciated my body in until I entered the stage of prolonged bad health. Simple tasks became huge ordeals and successfully putting on socks came to be a triumph. I have longed to walk unassisted and to perform the simplest tasks with ease, the ones I used to take for granted.

The other day as I was struggling with my socks and its frustration, I came to understand the above quote. I could see how a spirit without a body he or she once experienced would feel without it. Indeed, we get a glimpse of that from President Joseph F. Smith’s vision of the spirit world which tells us that ‘the dead looked upon the long absence of their spirits from their bodies as a bondage’ (D&C 138:50). I began to appreciate that maybe my body is a privilege……

The other day I quoted Melvin J. Ballard who shared his conviction of our unreserved willingness to come to earth and obtain a body whether it be cripped, maimed, or deformed. I thought as I was struggling with my socks, surely those afflicted with such bodies would have regretted that choice. I know all about physical pain and limit of movement. I cannot imagine that to be my whole earthly experience.

Elder Ballard continued to express our pre-earthly knowledge of the necessity of a body for our ascension to godhood which enabled us to be centered on an eternal view rather than the sorrows and troubles of this life ("Sermons and Missionary Services of Melvin J. Ballard, p 179). Reconciling our pre-earthly perspective and the reality of living on this side of the veil is something of a challenge though.

In his last conference talk Elder Bednar spoke about enduring to the end and he connected to it a very necessary component, that of trust. It is something that has been on my mind of late. As I considered his talk I realized that this is the key to acceptance of earthly suffering and the power to endure to the end.

I realized my willingness to trust that my life is playing out according to God’s plan for me and my trust that what is to come in next life is imperative for my existence here and now.

And my ultimate trust comes with a hope which is this: to be faithful and valiant in my testimony of Jesus whilst in mortality with ‘a hope of a glorious resurrection, through the grace of God the Father and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ’ (D&C 138:12-14)

Because the valleys do not

Lead to where I need to be,

You give me mountains to climb

To reach Your divinity.

 

You are so high

And my reach is so low.

To come to Your arms

I accept the mountains

That show me which way to go.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Ponder Anew by LDS Book Store)

TO THE END

 

“Before you joined this Church you stood on neutral ground. When the gospel was preached, good and evil were set before you. You could choose either or neither. There were two opposite masters inviting you to serve them. When you joined this Church you enlisted to serve God. When you did that, you left the neutral ground, and you never can go back on to it. Should you forsake the Master you enlisted to serve, it will be by the instigation of the evil one, and you will follow his dictation and be his servant.”

-          “Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith” [2007], 324)

“The Lord has made it clear that all who wish to be saved must endure to the end in righteousness (see Ezekiel 18:24,27; Matthew 10:22; Mosiah 4:30; 3 Nephi 15:9, 27:17; D&C 18:22; 53:7; 82:7)

“President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “having received the necessary saving ordinances – baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, temple ordinances and sealings – one must live the covenants made. He must endure in faith. No matter how brilliant was the service rendered by the bishop of stake president or other person, if he falters later in his life and fails to live righteously ‘to the end’ the good works he did all stand in jeopardy.”  (“Miracle of Forgiveness” p 121)

How deep He buried the truth in my soul

Long before this body of clay

Began the journey below!

 

He has watered the seed of my faith

And cleared my garden of weeds of gloom

He is the Gardener

Who tenderly watches my soul’s

everlasting bloom.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Garden Portrait by LDS Art) 

THE FINISH LINE

 

 

In my darkest moments, when I have thought I could not endure my life to the end, I was given assurance from above that the Great Eternal Father has made provision for my every moment of suffering, my every moment of weakness, my every occasion of loneliness and despair, my every failing. When in heavenly realm He planned for the earthly probation of His children, He understood so well that we would need heavenly help to lift us higher, to strengthen, to empower, to ensure our success. 

This provision, this redemptive power, comes through His grace and mercy in the most sacrificial way imaginable. It comes through the offering of His Son. It comes through the benevolence of the loving Father so that we can never say, “I can’t do this, I can never make it.” 

The very thought and utterance of such a declaration denies the power of the Atonement and the costly gift of Calvary.  I know that the death of Him who has given His all ensures my success in enduring to the end. I know He watches, and He cares and He waits to meet me at heaven’s gate.

You warned me there would be mountains to climb

But promised there would be resting spots along the way;

You warned me of the subtle pitfalls

And how deep and wide the waters I would wade.

But you promised me Your hand in mine

Every minute of the day

And that You would meet me at the finish line

When I had conquered all there was to pay.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Well Done by Chris Brazelton)

UNTIL DEATH

 

I am constantly amazed at the way the Book of Mormon clarifies the doctrines of Christ and it amazes me equally how often some of us miss these clarifications. One ordinance in the Church that often gets misunderstood is baptism. I have for many years in the past, like many others no doubt, partaken the sacrament each Sunday with the idea that if I do so I will walk away from the chapel 'clean' as on the day of my baptism. This is of course false. There is only one purpose to our weekly partaking of the sacrament and that is to renew our baptismal covenant of obedience.

The New Testament teaches us that baptism is important, but to me, the reasons why, are quite vague. The idea of purification by baptism as suggested in Acts 22:15-16 stands more as a symbol than a reason, probably because we associate water with cleanliness. The act of baptismal cleanliness is not due to immersion in water but the purifying power of the Holy Ghost for the redemption of sins, which follows (2 Nephi 31:17), but that’s a subject for another post. Paul also symbolises baptism with burial and resurrection in Romans 6:3,4. The greatest symbolism of baptism is, however, re-birth. Just as we are born physically coming forth out of the water of the womb, we are born spiritually in Christ coming forth out of the water of baptism.

Book of Mormon is clear on this fact: baptism's first and foremost objective is to make a covenant of obedience with God.  If the act of baptising was to wash away sins, Jesus being without sin would not need to be baptised. The obvious reaction to this is: He was baptised to be an example to us. But an example of what? This is where the Book of Mormon excels in clarification. Nephi makes it clear that Jesus' willingness to 'fulfill all righteousness' was not to exemplify washing away of sin but to make a covenant of obedience (Matthew 3:15; 2 Nephi 31:5,6,7). In other words, at the time of His baptism, Jesus was making a covenant with the Father that He would be obedient, and in the process, making an example for us to do the same. And, indeed, the renewal of this covenant of obedience is what we hear in our sacramental prayers every Sunday (Moroni 4,5)

When Alma who had fled from King Noah with a small band of followers preached to them the covenant of obedience by the waters of Mormon, the people were so overcome with joy that they committed to baptism there and then (Mosiah 18:10,11). Alma's first baptism was a man called Helam. The words he used as he baptised Helam took the baptismal covenant to a new level. He said: Helam, I baptise thee, having authority from the Almighty God, as a testimony that ye have entered into a covenant to serve him until you are dead...." (Mosiah 18:13). This is serious stuff. Especially considering that anciently covenants were not broken even at the point of death.

Nehi makes it clear that enduring to the end is an essential component of baptism, one on which the whole concept of salvation hangs (2 Nephi 31:16). But there is another reason. Nephi says we must endure "in following the example of the Son' (2 Nephi 31:16). The Saviour endured to the end in every sense of the word. Not just to the end of His life, but to the end of His 'death'. You will recall that His suffering began in the Garden of Gethsemane where His mental anguish caused Him to bleed 'at every pore' (D&C 19:18). This suffering returned to Him when He was upon the cross enduring the physical break-down of His body (see Talmage, Jesus the Christ, p 661 and Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, p 141). Did Jesus have the power to come down from the cross? Absolutely. But He chose to endure to the end, when all the mankind was redeemed and every soul accounted for, when He could say "it is finished' (JST Matthew 27:54, John 19:30). His death was His moment of choice. All things suffered, all things endured. Obedience made possible. Until death.

How noble You were

When You stepped

Through the water’s gate;

I bequest to You my earthly deeds

And fly to You

With my arms of faith. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art by Chris Brazelton)