Thy
infinite mercy
Thy
limitless goodness
Thy
bountiful compassion,
A
gift to those who loveth Thee;
Trailing
from the cross of Calvary,
Sealed
with Your hour of agony.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
Thursday, 6 August 2026
A GIFT
THE POWER OF TRIBULATION
It was
revealed to me a while ago that I was strong and fearless in my pre-mortal life
but I suspect that I was so self-assured that I was bordering on being
cocky. I think I honestly thought I was
going to ace it here on earth.
Being an
idealist, I was attracted to the Church in my youth because it felt like I had
found the principle that was going to give me power to become who I wanted to
be and that principle was obedience. I thought through obedience to the Gospel
laws I was to become this giant of endurance and strength in the face of evil,
temptation and tribulation. Obedience became everything to me. I did well
enduring trials for many years so then my goal morphed into something else –
dying with amazing achievements under my belt and going home in triumph. I was
going to return home with honour.
What I
didn’t realise is that honour lies in un-glamorous attributes such as
endurance, repentance, humility and compassion amongst others. Honour lies in
what you become and not in what you have achieved. Never did I expect that an invisible monster
called pain would come to live on my back with its claws in my flesh and would
have so much power over me. This monster has taken me on a roller coaster of struggling
emotions and has robbed me of motivation to achieve anything on more days than
I care to admit.
I have
always admired Job because he was a ‘strong person’ in the midst of his
tribulation but now that I understand that monster that was on his back too,
what I think he stands for the most is the proof of the reward of his
endurance. More of that as we study the book of Job.
“Enduring
‘well’ means passing the breaking point without breaking, having cause to be
bitter – as men measure cause – without being bitter. Enduring ‘well’ means the
disciple in the very trough of his difficulties avoids, as Job wisely did,
having ‘charged God foolishly’.” (Neal
A. Maxwell, Meek and Lowly, p 115)
We are told
that we are here to walk by faith but I would say that the higher path of faith
is trust. It is easy to believe in God
but it is not easy to trust Him. For instance, King Mosiah of the Book of
Mormon tells us that unless we submit to ‘all things which the Lord seeth fit
to inflict upon us’, even as a child submits to his father, we can never
overcome the natural man (Mosiah 3:19). This is a hard doctrine that asks of us
an exorbitant amount of trust in the process that will refine us and make us
rise above the mortal self to eternal glory. Job understood this when he said
regarding his suffering: “when he hath tried me I shall come forth as gold”
(Job 23:10). This is trust, when you can accept your extreme suffering
believing it will be for your ultimate good.
When we can
trust in a God, we cannot see, and His plan for us, which we cannot remember
ever agreeing to, that is ultimate trust. I am a firm believer of freedom of
choice that existed even before this life but I didn’t know our freedom to
choose determined the course of our earthly lives to such an extent as it does.
This was confirmed to me just recently when I asked God if my illness was in my
life’s plan and received an answer I did not expect: “Yes. You chose it over mental illness. You
wanted to keep your brain so you could understand the doctrines of the kingdom
and teach it to others and so you could bear witness of Christ.”
This
revelation made amazing sense of my life. The next day I reflected on it and
realized the exact nature of that choice I made so long ago. I remembered my physical illness runs in my
family as does dementia. I think I was told when my plan was devised that these
two illnesses will be in the genetic legacy of my family and I was given the
choice as to which one I would prefer to suffer. I chose the monster and I know
my choice went beyond my desire to keep my mind.
Trust was the
major component of our willingness to come to a world of suffering. Our trust
in the saving grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ would have been supreme
before we came. No sane person would accept a painful plan with the risk of
being lost, without a sure way of eventual escape. It would be like entering a
tunnel knowing there is no exit at the end. We knew that the Saviour could do
it and would do it. Trust is also double sided. The Father’s ability to send us
to temporary affliction shows His utmost trust in His Beloved Son and the
process of the Atonement, knowing full well that because of it we would
survive.
When I
entered my stage of illness I became very introspective of my life. Somehow I
felt I was to blame for the hard life I was given but a realization came to me
that I followed my heart in all my major decisions and steps I took and I realized
I was being guided and I responded to that guidance with trust. Knowing that
freed me from self-accusation. I am learning now to accept submission in this
the hardest leg of my journey…..and I’m hearing clearly the agony of those
famous words coming from Gethsemane: “nevertheless not my will but thine be
done” (Luke 22:42)
I
viewed my life as hopeless pieces
And
shame consumed my fragile heart.
I
questioned every move and every choice;
I
berated; I gave no value to any part.
Not
until my trust consumed me
And
my will to heavens flew
Did
solace nestle in my soul
And
such freedom as I never knew.
Wednesday, 5 August 2026
ETERNAL BOND
The most
comforting of LDS doctrine is one of family eternal bond, especially when it
comes to death of children. There is no greater sorrow. It’s the unknown of
what could have been had they lived.
The Prophet
Joseph Smith and his wife, Emma, who had six of their eleven children die, had
reason to ask why. The Prophet said: “I have meditated upon the subject, and
asked the question, why is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from
us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The
strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a
very wicked world…..The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may
escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they
were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered,
instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil,
and we shall soon have them again. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church:
Joseph Smith (2007), 177)
Emma
lived almost 35 years after the martyrdom of her prophet-husband. A few days
before she died she told her nurse, Elizabeth Revel, that Joseph had come to
her in a vision and said: "'Emma, come with me, it is time for you to come
with me'.
As
Emma related it, she said, 'I put on my bonnet and my shawl and went with him;
I did not think that it was anything unusual. I went with him into a mansion,
and he showed me through the different apartments of that beautiful mansion'.
And one room was the nursery.
In
that nursery was a babe in the cradle. She said, 'I knew my babe, my Don Carlos
that was taken from me'. She sprang forward, caught the child up in her arms
and wept with joy over the child. When Emma recovered herself sufficiently, she
turned to Joseph and said, 'Joseph, where are the rest of my children?'
He
said to her, 'Emma, be patient and you shall have all of your children'. Then
she saw standing by his side a personage of light, even the Lord Jesus
Christ." (Gracia N. Jones, My Great-Great-Grandmother, Emma Hale
Smith, Ensign Aug 1992)
And this is
the most comforting doctrine of all:
“President
Joseph F. Smith (1838-1918) lost many children to early deaths. He was
comforted by the doctrine that little children would be resurrected as little
children and raised to maturity by their righteous parents after the
Resurrection. President Smith once shared the following: “Joseph Smith taught
the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in
the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child,
he said to her: “You will have the joy, the pleasure and satisfaction of
nurturing this child, after its resurrection until it reaches the full stature
of its spirit.”
“There is
restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from
death. I love this truth. It speaks volumes of happiness, of joy and gratitude
to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us.” (Teachings
of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith (1998), 132)
Not only
will little children reach full maturity, but they will also reach full exaltation.
Abinadi taught that “little children also have eternal life” (Mosiah 15:25).
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “you shall have your children, for they shall
have eternal life, for their debt is paid.” (Teachings of Presidents of the
Church: Joseph Smith (1998), 177)
We owe the
payment of this debt to one man: our Creator, our God, our Saviour Jesus
Christ. Gethsemane was not only the place of sweat but a place of tears. The
payment for the Fall and the sins of the world was paid by the sweat and blood
of Him who satisfied the law of justice but His tears flowed in the Garden of
sorrow for all the broken hearts of grieving parents to this day.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
ON DEATH
KAHLIL GIBRAN
ON DEATH:
Then Almitra
spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death. And he said:
You would
know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the
heart of life?
The owl whose
night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If
you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body
of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth
of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And
like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the
dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
For what is
it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is
it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it
may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you
drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you
have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the
earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
-
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet – A
Timeless Masterpiece
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
-
Mary
Elizabeth Frye
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Man Ethereal by Unknown Artist)
Tuesday, 4 August 2026
LIGHT UPON HIS SHOULDERS
How
strong You have been to carry me so far;
Without
retreat, through raging storms,
Up
mountains and over treacherous seas.
You
did not falter
As
you carried me up Calvary’s hill;
Golgotha
had no claim on Thee.
How
strong Your shoulders must be
To
carry me into eternity!
-
CATHRYNE ALLEN
FOR SUCH A TIME 3
When God
gave a commandment in the beginning that a man should leave his mother and
father and 'cleave unto his wife' (Genesis 2:24) I believe that somehow this
became a very literal mandate for men, with women being given the advantage and
privilege of influence.....as was proven by Esther who saved her entire nation
from annihilation (Esther 8). What she did and how she did it defines the
nature of this influence.
Esther did
not rely on her beauty and her womanly wiles to convince King Xerxes not to
kill her people. She could have done that. The King was clearly smitten by her
to the point that he would have granted her every wish and given her even half
of his kingdom (Esther 5:3,6; 7:2). Instead of relying on her womanhood, Esther
employed God's assistance in her influence over the king. This is the privilege
of influence that God meant women to have, to influence men using their
spiritual sensitivities and make God the third party in their union.
Esther
designated a three day fast for all the Jews in the kingdom and offered two
banquets to the King and his right hand man Haman who was intent on Jewish
annihilation. The 24 hours in between those two banquets was crucial because
during that time the King had a sudden desire to read the records which threw a
light on the situation at hand. This desire was obviously inspired from above
(Esther 6). The fasting of Esther and her people brought the Lord into the
situation. It's a rather lengthy story but a highly entertaining one. The whole
event is celebrated even today among the Jews through the Feast of Purim all
because of the power of a righteous woman.
We are enjoying freedoms today never before known to women.
With this comes a great responsibility. Our influence knows no
bounds. We can tear down or build up. We can inspire or degrade. We can soften
men's hearts or lead them to destruction. We can lead them away from the truth
or bring them to God. Such is the power of women.
Mordecai, a relative who raised Esther, suggested to her
that she was probably raised up at that time to save her people, that she was
foreordained for such 'a time as this' (Esther 4:14). Esther in Persian tongue
means 'a star'. She honoured her name well for she was no doubt in
the realms of heaven when 'the morning stars sang together and all the sons of
God shouted for joy' (Job 38:7).
We, noble women of the covenant were there too,
foreordained for such a time as this, to lift humanity to higher ground, to
prepare for the great day of the Lord when He shall come in His glory to save
His people Israel. We were the morning stars sent to support, love and
influence our husbands, our sons and our brothers to be the sons of God
now and forever.
May we fulfil our sacred responsibility given us of God at
all cost and have the courage to be such women like Esther who went to the King
endangering her own life for the cause and said the most memorable words ever
spoken by a woman of courage: “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16)
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
Monday, 3 August 2026
STRENGTH AND FRAGILITY
I marvel that a powerful being
such as You would love
Such a weak being like me.
With
thankfulness, You remember the me
That
once walked the clouds with Thee;
That
You see who I once used to be,
And
value me despite my fragile humanity.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)