I miss You Father,
More than I can tell.
I long to come home to Your embrace,
I want to be free from
This harsh and lonely place.
Are You missing ME, Father?
And do You long for MY embrace?
Or do all the hosts of heaven
Fill my empty space?
I want to be the daughter
Like the Son that He was,
I follow, I follow,
Leaving behind all my earthly sorrow.
-
CATHRYNE
ALLEN
(Artist Unknown)
“We will acknowledge someday, before God and all his
children, that life on this earth, that which we longed for as premortal
spirits desiring mortality, was the perfect school for our development. Though
the curriculum was exacting, the tests were more than adequately supervised by
the schoolmaster. Though the homework was extensive, again our teacher was our
constant support.” (Jerry A. Wilson, The Great Plan of Happiness – Insights
From the Lectures on Faith, p 75)
Looking back on Job’s life and considering the perfection of
his character, it is obvious that the test of his life had to equal the stature
of the man otherwise it would not have qualified as a test. I don’t know how
long Job’s test of faith lasted. The Bible does not tell us the exact length
though most biblical scholars and estimates suggest it lasted anywhere from
several months to under a year, composed of these timeline clues:
-
Initial
Losses: Job’s sudden loss of children and livestock happened rapidly, unfolding
over a single catastrophic day (Job 1:13-19)
-
The
Silent Mourning: Job’s three friends sat with him in silence for seven days and
seven nights after seeing his physical affliction (Job 2:13)
-
Months
of Suffering: Job laments in Job 7:3 that he has been allotted ‘months of
futility’ and wearisome nights, suggesting his physical misery lasted a
prolonged period.
-
The
Discourses: Time passed during the lengthy back-and-forth dialogue between Job
and his friends, followed by Elihu’s speeches and God speaking from the
whirlwind (Job 38-41).
I have looked back to the greatest test of my faith and have
been amazed to discover how perfectly fitted it was to me even though I would
never want to repeat anything like that. This test of faith challenged my best
attribute and my very essence of being and who I am. I have only just now discovered
how intricate the schoolmaster has been with me. The attribute that was tested
also happens to be my biggest strength that has kept me active in the Church
and ensured my obedience to the Gospel.
The test that I passed lasted much longer than Job’s. It
lasted for 11 years and in fact added another 30 years of ensued issues and
fears that needed to be resolved. This has been my extensive homework that has
made my life difficult but has in the process developed the strength of
character I will carry with me into eternity.
The teacher has indeed been my
constant support and has because of my endurance granted me the wish of my
heart….to keep me in His sight.
I failed to understand
Why such deep trials in my life,
I expected much better in my arrogant
pride.
How merciful You were Father
To help me see the purpose of the tide;
That through my bruised and aching heart
You kept me by Your loving side.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
I
wondered why You were absent
When
I most needed Thee;
I
felt so alone in my suffering,
Yet
You promised You’d be with us in everything.
I
thought I was in my own Garden of Gethsemane,
Until
I saw Your footprints
And
Your drops of blood
That
eluded me.
I
looked around and I understood
You
knew every tree,
Every
shrub, even every blade
Of
grass in Your vicinity.
I
was in Your garden, not mine,
that beckoned me.
I
realised You were there still
Praying
for my weak soul to come to Thee.
I
will come, I will honour Thee;
Let
me first sit under this tree a while
To
reflect upon Your suffering.
-
Cathryne Allen
I have written nine blogs about Job over the years but this year as I re-visited
his story, I felt that I had missed the crux of his experience. It pierced my
heart because it related to me in a personal way.
To recap, Job went from fabulous wealth, exquisite righteousness and
being a pinnacle of society to living in rags on the outskirts of the city, in
constant pain but remaining devoted to God.
Refusing to curse God and die, Job lost the support of his wife and through
the merciless scorn of Job’s self-proclaimed integrity, his friends offered no
support. Through it all, Job stood firm defending God. The more they opposed
his strength, the more Job praised God insisting ‘with Him is wisdom and
strength’ (Job 12:10-24). And in his sorrow, he exclaimed: “My friends scorn
me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God” (Job 16:20).
It’s the tears that get me because in the midst of his repeated pleading
to God, the heavens remained silent:
“…..as we know, silence had become part of the test. But what a problem
this posed for Job. Deep, depressing darkness cowed him by its awful blackness
and terrified him by its pervasiveness. Listen to his anguished plea with the
Lord for soul-relief, relief that included an answer to his persistent but
continually unanswered question: Why? Why? Why? Wherefore hidest thou thy face,
and holdest me for thine enemy? (Job 13:20-24)…..He hath fenced up my way that
I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths (19:6-8) (Keith H. Meservy,
Job, Yet Will I Trust In Him, pp 139-53)
Job’s greatest pain was not losing his children, his health or his wealth but the betrayal he felt as God turned away from his suffering.
In Lecture 3 of Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith said that there are three things necessary 'in order that any rational or intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation': 1. The idea that God actually exists; 2. A correct idea of his character, perfections and attributes; 3. An actual knowledge that the course of life he is pursuing is according to His will.
The Book of Job proves this teaching to be true. To exercise true faith and endure in faithfulness one must be convinced that God exists, have knowledge of His character to foster hope for deliverance and salvation and be assured that his life is acceptable to Him. All three necessary attributes listed above are reflected in Job's life.
When he proclaimed "I know that my Redeemer liveth" (19:25), he was basically bearing testimony of His existence. When he said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (13:15) is a clear indication that he knew of God’s merciful nature, His power and His strength (26:6-14). Job also knew that the life he was living was according to God's will and this he proved by recounting his good deeds ((29:12-17) and by asserting his righteousness (27:2-6).
What hurt Job the most was God’s silence. He had lived a perfect life, he believed in God, he knew him and yet God was silent. He was a good person and he had done all. How many times do we come across scriptures that say God is merciful, and He will answer our every prayer and yet at the most crucial time of our lives, we feel abandoned by Him and experience the silence?
How abandoned and rejected Job must have felt. The disdain of his
friends was bad enough as was the lack of support from his wife but to be
shunned by God was the end of the line. He had nowhere else to go for relief
and understanding. The only place he
could go from there was to wish for death (Job 3:3; 10:1). Job was not just
alone, he was utterly alone. Many of us understand this place. Yet still in the
midst of his longing for the end, Job remained steadfast and in the end he
heard the voice of Jehovah ‘out of the whirlwind’ which revived his soul and
confirmed the greatness of God who watched over him still (see Job 38).
I remember my tears to God some years ago about facing my trials alone when
He answered me: “was it you or I who suffered at Calvary?” I understood back
then the lonely road He had travelled in mortality all the way to the cross,
abandoned by His friends who ran from Him and betrayed Him and His countrymen
who rejected Him. And then the Father’s withdrawal and silence. How utterly,
utterly alone the Saviour must have felt in His most crucial moment at Calvary.
Those who would be Christ’s have to know ‘the fellowship of His sufferings’ (see
Philippians 3:8-10).
What Job did not foresee in the midst of his suffering was that his life
would take a turn for the better, and he would be recompensed for not turning
his back on one greater than him. His trust in God’s mercy did come as 'the Lord blessed the latter end
of Job more than his beginning' (Job 42:12). Job lived another 140 years in
prosperity and wellness after the trial of his faith. Would he have ever
imagined in the mire of his pain such a glorious ending to his life if he had
cursed God and died???
ODE TO JOB
You
sank so deep
Into
the mire of your pain;
Nobody
followed you
Nobody
sang praises to your name.
You
longed for the comfort
That
nobody could give
But
He who gave you life
In
whom you believed still.
He
stood and He waited until
In
your hour of agony
You
gloried in His name
And
became my beacon of hope
that
I can do the same.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
You
warned me there would be mountains to climb
But
promised there would be resting spots along the way;
You
warned me of the subtle pitfalls
And
how deep and wide the waters I would wade.
But
you promised me Your hand in mine
Every
minute of the day
And
that You would meet me at the finish line
When
I had conquered all there was to pay.
-
Cathryne Allen
“It is not
the function of religion to answer all questions about God’s moral government
of the universe, but to give courage (through faith) to go on in the face of
questions a man never finds the answers to in his present status.” (Elder
Harold B. Lee, Church News, as quoted by Keith H. Meservy, “Job: Yet
Will I Trust In Him”, pp 139-53)
Job’s life
is the prime example of the reality that God allows bad things to happen to
good people. A lot of people ask why and finding no understanding, come to
reject God and his principle of faith.
I know this place. Since I joined the Church in my youth I naively
believed that if I was obedient to the commandments that I will be happy and
all will be well in my life. I didn’t take into consideration so many
variables: the nature of this fallen world, the purpose of mortality, and the
necessity for this testing ground. I remember some years ago I was complaining
to God about my trials at hand when I heard a voice say to me: “was it you or I
who suffered at Calvary?”
Perhaps the better question would be: If Christ, the only sinless and
perfect man had to be subjected to this world of suffering, then why not us? Besides,
the excruciating Atonement He went through, He experienced tragedy and sorrow
throughout His life: members of His family did not accept Him as the Messiah at
first (John 7:5); people in His hometown sought to kill Him (Luke 4:16-30); His
countrymen rejected His messianic calling (John 1:11); one friend betrayed Him,
another denied knowing Him (Luke 22:48, 54-62); all His disciples forsook Him
and fled (Matt 25:56); His enemies demanded His crucifixion (Matt 27:22-23). Is
this not a life of difficulty?
It was
believed anciently that suffering only comes upon the wicked and that it is God
given as punishment. When Jesus healed a man blind from birth, His disciples
asked Him: “Master, who did sin, this man or his parents that he was born
blind?” Jesus answered that neither
sinned and that the purpose of the man’s blindness was for the ‘works of God to
be manifest in him’ (John 9:2,3). So with all of us, there is obviously a
purpose for whatever we are afflicted with that is not of our doing.
I rather
think that Job had to learn this lesson. His friends accused him of being
sinful in some way to have ended up in such extreme suffering. Job defended his
integrity (Job 27:6), knowing full well he did not sin but he must have
wondered why he was not spared. This made him question if he did really commit
some sin so he begged the Lord to reveal it to him so he could repent (Job 13:23).
While Job did not understand why God permitted his affliction, he would not
judge Him nor lose his faith in Him and could therefore say “let come on me
what will” (Job 13:13).
Besides the test of his faithfulness and trust in
God, Job’s experience offers us further understanding as to why he, a righteous
man, had to suffer. Firstly, all those who desire to come unto Christ have to
experience a portion of his suffering to properly know Him. Job proved this to
be true.....he only knew OF God prior to his suffering but at the end he came
to KNOW God, as he said: "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear:
but now mine eye seeth thee" (Job 42:5). To become like Christ and in the
end receive of His glory, it is needful for us to become partners with Him, in
some small measure, in His sufferings and walk the path He walked. Paul called
this 'the fellowship of his sufferings' (Philippians 3:8-10).
Secondly, the fiery darts that we suffer in
mortality are designed to fit us for exaltation. God would have us become like
Him. For this reason He will allow us to suffer in the refiner's fire that we
might in the end become purified with His image in our countenance (Job 23:10;
Malachi 3:2,3). This is illustrated well in the following story:
"Some time ago, a few women met in a certain
city to study the scriptures. While reading the 3rd Chapter of Malachi, they
came upon a remarkable expression in the 3rd Verse: "And He shall sit as a
refiner and purifier of silver". One woman proposed to visit a silversmith
and report to them on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and
without telling the object of her errand begged the silversmith to tell her
about the process of refining silver.
“After he had fully described it to her, she asked,
"But sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?".
"Oh yes, Madam", replied the silversmith, "I must sit with my
eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be
exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured". The woman
at once saw the beauty, and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a
refiner and purifier of silver". God sees it needful to put His children
into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His
wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not
come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.
Before she left, the woman asked one final question, "When do you know the
process is complete?" "Why, that is quite simple", replied the
silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining
process is finished".
Your
watchful eye was over all my trials
So
carefully crafted
With
love and tender care,
The
crucible almost too hard to bear;
Yet
did I worship Thee
Praising
Thy name forever.
You
stood as sentinel to my yielding heart
Knowing
my trust would stand the test of time;
You
crushed the enemy of my soul in the final hour,
Your
glory, Your might, Your unfathomable power.
The lessons of my life flowed like a river
Winding through days, months and years;
I rescued a few but missed so many
From the currents as I saw them passing;
They drowned in a daze of my ignorance,
Unwanted and ignored but yet abiding.
I fish them now from the pool of my memory
And give them life everlasting.
- Cathryne Allen
