The day You climbed that fateful hill
And embraced the pain of Calvary
You freed us from this world of sin
And from every agony.
How noble, how enduring
How strong You must have been
To fight my soul’s enemy
In the Garden of Gethsemane.
I give You my heart
I give You my all
To one day see Your
Reflection in my soul.
-
CATHRYNE
ALLEN
“If evil spirits could come to me, cannot
ministering spirits and angels also come from God? Of course they can, and…they
can rush as an army going to battle…That is the God whom I serve, one who has
millions of angels at His command…We do not see them, but they are here
watching us….The Lord has hosts of angels who are qualified to defend us, and
they have information enough to march armies and to select leaders to lead them
against the enemy of the Saints.” (Heber C. Kimball, Journal of Discourses, 3:229-30)
President Heber C. Kimball and his wife Vilate
Kimball were awakened by their neighbor on the night of September 22, 1827, to
witness such an army in the sky:
“It was one of the most beautiful starlight
nights, so clear we could see to pick up a pin. We saw a bow form in the sky
and it grew wide enough to contain twelve men abreast. In this bow an army
moved, commencing from the east and marching to the west. They continued
marching until they reached the western horizon. They moved in platoons and
walked so close that the rear ranks trod in the steps of their file leaders,
until the whole bow was literally crowded with soldiers…..
“We….could discern the form and features of the
men. The most profound order existed throughout the entire army. When the
foremost man stepped, every man stepped at the same time. I could hear their
steps. When the front rank reached the western horizon, a battle ensued, as we
could hear the report of the arms, and the rush.
“No man could judge of my feelings when I
beheld that army of men, as plainly as ever I saw armies of men in the flesh;
it seemed as though every hair of my head was alive. This scenery we gazed upon
for hours, until it began to disappear.
“After I became acquainted with Mormonism, I
learned that this took place the same evening that Joseph Smith received the
records of the Book of Mormon from the angel Moroni, who had held those records
in his possession. “There were other witnesses to this event, and “the next
night similar scenery was beheld in the west, by the neighbors, representing
armies of men who were engaged in battle.”
(Whitney, Life of Heber C. Kimball, 15-17; see also McConkie, Angels,
100; Tullidge, Women of Mormondom, 107-9)
Angels,
are you near me
To
catch me if I fall?
Do
you stand guard at the entrance
Of
my heart
On
God’s errand and sentinel’s call?
Do
you pave the way
And
steady my feet,
And
ensure my enemy’s defeat?
You
are unsung heroes
Of
every journey’s flight
You
are phantoms of love
Concealed
from mortal sight.
We have spread our wings
Like birds in flight
In this world far and wide;
Yet our hearts will nest
In branches seeking the sky above
Forever and ever
United together on the family tree of love.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art Unknown)
I remember
hearing a story years ago about a woman who had the habit of cutting off the
end of the leg of lamb before baking. When she was asked why she did that she
said her mother always did it so she thought that was the right way to bake
lamb. When the mother was questioned she said her mother always did it so she
thought that it should be done. When the grandmother was questioned she said she
didn’t have a roasting pan big enough so she had to cut off the end of the leg.
The things we pass on stays in us…..
I have many
times recognized things about me that were intergenerational beliefs, attitudes
and programming. Many of my European inclinations and characteristics became
quite obvious in contrast to the western society norm when my family moved to
Australia. I had to change some things about myself to fit into my new environment.
While I was
growing up in Croatia, I was very aware of the animosity that existed between
the Croats and Serbs. I am sure it went back to the land somehow but nobody of
my generation or even my parents’ generation understood why exactly we weren’t
supposed to like each other. Even though my parents didn’t fully understand,
they were, nevertheless, quick to promote their disdain because it was expected.
We are very
much the sum of those who went before us…..the generations whose blood runs in
our veins. We are the inheritors of their personalities and characteristics,
good or bad. On a personal level, I remember seeing my mother more than once in
tears saying: “God created me to suffer.”
And yes I have focused on a lot of my suffering in life because of that.
Like mother, like daughter. I also picked up her propensity to criticize others.
To this day I am vigilant about this flaw.
I come from generations of poor peasants who lived under the feudal system and then under socialism. My paternal grandmother had six children. When one of them died in infancy she said: “Well, that’s one less mouth to feed.” I never saw this grandmother smile in my whole life. The generations of poverty mentality, likewise, has followed me around for most of my life. Not that I am rich now, but I no longer care.
There are a
number of places in the scriptures where God says: “I will visit the iniquity
of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them
that hate me” (see Deut 5:9,10; Exodus 20:5,6). It puzzled me why the children
would have to be punished because of the sins of their fathers. I came to
realise with time that hate very much gets passed down from generation to
generation. It begins with someone but never ends with them and it evolves into
a serious sin. A classical example is the Middle East.
Generational
flaws and sins can end with any generation and this is how. When we are born into this world, we
take upon ourselves our father’s name. When we are spiritually born through
baptism, we take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ. We become
CHRISTians. King Benjamin explained this means that we become ‘the children of
Christ’. He mentions the importance of having Christ’s name 11 times in 6
verses of Mosiah 5 (V 7-12). Why is this important? Because, just as we are
genetically predisposed to inherit physical and mental traits of our earthly
fathers, so we, when we take upon ourselves the name of Christ, and live his
teachings, inherit His spiritual qualities. In other words, we become like Him
by the virtue of our newly acquired parental bond (Moroni 7:48). This gives a
whole new meaning to the phrase ‘you’re just like your father’, does it not???
I
know love existed in the generations of my family. Europeans are passionate
people. I have inherited that quality from them. I think deeply and I feel
deeply. The memory of them ties me to my homeland. I look forward to meeting
those whose names I only know on paper, when I pass on to next life. I want to
shower them with love and bring them to God who has given me meaning and understanding
of my humanity. I want to resolve their long-held prejudices that have robbed
them of their potential. I want to tell them they were not born to suffer.
Your life has come and gone
But your footprints remain
And your blood courses through my veins.
I know your smile and your frown
Though we have never met.
They are worn by my children
As gems in family diadem;
You are the root
That reaches the branches,
I am the stem that paves the way.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art Unknown)
I marvel as You lead me over mountains
and over vales;
And when I often fall,
You soothe away my pains.
I marvel at Thy patience,
I marvel at Thy love,
I marvel at Thy faith in me
And what I can become.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Artist Unknown)
On Judgment Day, the balance between justice and mercy will be so
perfect that we will not be able to question it. This is the greatest
lesson I learnt from David of the Old Testament.
I can think of no one who would have wept more when David
forfeited his exaltation than the Saviour himself. To lose someone with so much
promise and faithfulness would have been agonizing to Him. As a youth, he was
said to be a man after the Lord’s “own heart” (1 Sam 13:14) and as a man, he
spoke by the Spirit and had many revelations (see Guide to the Scriptures:
David)
If there was anyone the Saviour could have been
excessively merciful to, it would have been David but where would that have
left Uriah, a man of principle and loyalty, and his innocent blood that was
spilt? The man who had no say….whose wife was taken from him, who suffered an
unjust death??? One truth remains….mercy
cannot rob justice (Alma 42:25).
I saw the perfect nature of the God that we worship
and trust through this story. He knows
all: our hearts, our capabilities, our intents, our weaknesses, our pains, our
desires, our sufferings…. everything that could induce mercy….but yet He obeys
all the laws that He himself is governed by. Because He is the giver of law and
the sustainer of law, it is impossible for Him to violate law, including the
law of justice (see Discourses of Brigham Young p1, Mormon Doctrine p 432-3,
Mediation and Atonement p 168).
So a king who was destined for exaltation fell
from God’s grace and became an example of the perfect balance of justice and
mercy. The justice was the loss of exaltation but the mercy was the gift of
resurrection to all the human family including those who commit murder and
inherit a much lesser kingdom of glory which, nevertheless, surpasses all
understanding (D&C 132:38,39; D&C 76:89). David’s repentance and godly
sorrow led to his gratefulness that the Saviour will not leave his soul in hell
(Psalms 16:10; Acts 2:27; Acts 2:25-28; 13:22-37; Isaiah 55:3). This hope of resurrection of the unjust is known as
‘the sure mercies of David’ (see Bruce R. McConkie, The Promised Messiah, p
272).
The Psalms of David, who
‘foresaw the Lord always before his face’, are heart wrenching evidence of his
unfailing love and praise of Jehovah (Acts 2:25). Even though he committed a grievous
sin, he never turned away from the God of Israel. May we follow suit when sin
finds us and turn to Him who can forgive and yet rescue our souls from
everlasting misery and may we harbour in our heart David’s testimony forever:
“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my strength,
in whom I will trust, my buckler, and the horn (strength, power) of my
salvation….” (Psalms 18:2).
He
is the one and only giver of mercy, forgiveness and salvation and there is none
else….not in heaven above, or earth beneath…..nothing, nobody,
nowhere…..(Deuteronomy 4:35,39;5:8 ;Isaiah 43:10-11; 45:5,6,14,18,22; 46:9;
D&C 76:1; 2 Nephi 25:20; 31:21; Moses 6:52)
Will You come and carry me
When all my strength is gone?
Will Your mercy spill from You
When I can walk no more?
Will Your mercy lift me higher
To glimpse my eternal home?
Will I see my soul there
Before Your gilded throne?
When the sum of my life is done
Will You bring me home to keep?
I’ll want to kneel and honour You
Before Your Mercy Seat.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
I pleaded with you,
In the beginning,
To bring me home again to Thee.
I promised to heed every call,
To avoid every danger,
To abhor every sin.
I have laboured, Father,
to bring joy to Thee
and To be worthy
Of Your love for me.
When my time comes,
I will come home to Thee
and I will wait
at heaven’s
door knocking
Until I hear the angels sing.
-
Cathryne
Allen
