I lift, I lift,
Above the world below.
I reach and find Your
hand
To guide me where I am
meant to go.
You are my guiding light,
You are my all,
You are my inner compass
That will bring me home.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Guiding Light by Ivan Guaderrama)
We are
tempest tossed on this sea of humanity. Some of us are lost, scared, alienated,
and most of us are suffering from some negative effect of mortal life, but
there is one collective way in which we all suffer.
I have been
through trials before but have always had good health. The trial of bad health
I am going through now has been incredibly hard for me because none of my
trials before have tested me to this extent. It began to frighten me of late
that I might be losing what I considered to be the most important part of me…..my
faith. I was slipping into bad depression one day thinking if my faith in God
was taken away from me, there would be nothing of me left because my faith was
my make-up.
Upon
further reflection I realized what I feared in reality was not losing my faith
but my connection to God that I had developed in fifty years of my Church
membership. I had come to the point where I was hearing the voice of God in my
life in different ways and my testimony of His existence was iron clad. To lose
that would be the devastation like I had never known before. I could not
comprehend how lost I would feel in this vast universe. This is fear of
nothingness for me.
For many
years now I have tried to understand the true meaning of earthly suffering. I
have been given different gospel perspectives to this question which I agree
with but nothing had really stood out to me in such a personal way as what I
learnt through physical suffering. If its not the explanation for all, it is
for me. On many days of intense pain I have felt alienated from God, abandoned
and all alone. Pain seems to do that. Physical suffering teaches us what it
would feel like to be spiritually cut off from God’s presence forever. Once you
understand it, it becomes a deterrent to sinning.
Just being
taken out of God’s presence in which we lived for eons and placed in another
sphere of existence has an effect on all of us, even if we don’t realize it. A
French philosopher and Jesuit priest, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said something
profound once: “We are spiritual beings having a human experience and not
humans having a spiritual experience”. Because of this truth, we are all
hungering and seeking that spiritual connection we once had with God, even if
we don’t realise it. Some of us who do not find it in the right place, seek
devastating counterfeits which lead them to self-destruction. The truth
remains, we are all seeking God.
The good
news is that there is hope…..for all of us. There is a spiritual umbilical cord
that ties us to the origin of our existence and ensures we do not have to be
lost forever. I cannot think of a greater happiness and joy than being in the
presence of a God of love for all eternity. This was the Saviour’s primary
motivation for His eternal sacrifice…..that we be with the Father forever.
Before He
went to the Garden and the cross, the Saviour was certain that the Father would
be with Him during His suffering. He said as much to his disciples (John 8:29; 16:32).
Imagine His surprise when the Father withdrew and He was left alone. This was
needful for a couple of reasons: 1. where
there is sin, which was upon the Saviour during the Atonement, God’s spirit
withdraws (Mosiah 2:36); and 2. so the
glory would be exclusively His and He could say, “I have trodden the winepress
alone…” (D&C 133:50).
This,
however, is the primary reason why the Father withdrew. It was imperative that
the Saviour understood spiritual death from first-hand experience and what it
would be like for us, sinners, to be cut off from the presence of God forever. For
this He endured the cross until He could say ‘it is finished’ (John 19:30). The
Atonement overcame spiritual death and redeemed us from the Fall.
Considering
the closeness and connection He had with His Father, I cannot imagine the
devastation He felt during this ordeal of alienation but this too He was
willing to suffer for our sake. This is the God we worship, this is the God we
love. All honour and praise be to His name forever.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Uplift the World by Eva Koleva Timothy)
He
arose and rebuked the roaring winds
and
the raging sea,
He,
who with His word
caused
the earth to be,
Spoke
to the Galilean tempest:
“Peace, be still”.
He
who has all things
under
His command,
Calmed
the troubled sea of dismay
in
the souls of men.
He,
who holds all humanity
in
the palm of His hand,
Caused
the waves of the sea
to
whisper His name.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Emmanuel by Danny Hahlbohm)
When my mother-in-law lay dying in her hospital bed, she repeatedly told her children and grandchildren to stay on ‘the gospel train’. Just prior to her death one conference talk was centred on this life being like a train journey and we think she connected this in her mind to the gospel. She died a dignified death with her testimony on her lips. I hope to go like that.
In his farewell address, Moses admonished the children of Israel, repeatedly, to worship the one true and living God and that they should have no other gods before Him. This farewell constitutes the entire book of Deuteronomy with strong emphasis on dangers of idol worship. This farewell address was not only instructional but also the legacy of his testimony and faith.
Moses' farewell coincided with the children of Israel's entry into the promised land. Because the inhabitants of Canaan were ripe in iniquity and idol worship (1 Nephi 17:32-35) they presented a very real threat to the covenant people. As the Israelites conquered cities before them, lands were appropriated to them for their settlement. Among the first to receive land were the tribes of Reuben, Gad and half of Manasseh. They settled in the land of Gilead which divided them from the rest of Israel by the river Jordan (Numbers 34:14,15; Deuteronomy 3:12,13; Joshua 22:9).
After these three tribes had assisted in further conquest of the land, Joshua sent them back to Gilead to live peacefully in their newly appointed inheritance. Upon their return home, these tribes built an altar by the river Jordan. When the rest of Israel heard of it they were outraged presuming the altar was built for idol worship. They sent Phineas, the son of Eleazor the priest, with the heads of the remaining tribes, to call these two and a half tribes to repentance.
In their defence, these tribes explained that the altar was not made for any worship but was meant to stand as a witness to the rest of Israel, for generations to come, that the tribe of Reuben, Gad and Manasseh were united with the rest of Israel in the worship of one true and living God, that they would not be the downfall of Israel. They said the altar was to be "a witness between us that the Lord is God" (Joshua 22:34). These three tribes recognised that even though they were geographically divided from the rest, they were still a link in the chain. They knew that if they turned to the worship of other gods, the ripple effect would be detrimental to the whole House of Israel.
So it is with us. We of modern Israel are individual links in a great chain which binds the covenant people. How we live our lives and how we worship God has great impact upon not only us personally but upon the body of Christ as a whole because "no one sins in isolation. We cannot say that our actions influence only ourselves for even if we do something sinful that is completely personal, our individual loss of spiritual power means a lessening of power for all mankind and contributes to the withdrawal of the Lord's spirit, and that is damaging to all......". (Old Testament Student Manual Genesis-2 Samuel, p 243).
Today the
chain, being the Church of Jesus Christ, spreads across the globe. It unites me,
who am an Australian, with you who are an American, European or African. It
unites us through our faith in Him who is the Saviour of all, regardless of
nationality, colour or culture. Our faith in Christ and our commitment to that
faith is our commonality. He creates a spiritual umbilical cord that makes us
one and strengthens us even though we are miles apart. I depend on you and you
depend on me to keep the chain unbroken because one day this chain will bring
us together to live with Him forever.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: The Light of the World by Eva Koleva Timothy)
I find You deep within my heart.
You cradle me in Your loving arms
And offer me Your godly cup.
With eager haste I drink my fill,
Jesus
Christ’s primary purpose is to bring us to the Father. This achievement comes
in two parts: His Atonement and His advocacy that would eventually, through our
repentance and acceptance of His sacrifice, align us again with the Father, to
last for eternity.
For many
years after my baptism, I could only see the Saviour. I prayed to the Father
but the Saviour was the one I saw in the scriptures and the one I got to know
through my personal understanding of the living word and my revelations from
the Holy Ghost. Then, after many years, all of a sudden the Father came into my
life so clearly and the Saviour took the back seat. Ever since then, the Father
became more real to my mind than ever before. I gained an incredible desire to
return to His presence and to bring Him joy through the life that I live.
Since this
has happened, I have been given the privilege of having a few ‘discussions’
with Him, mind to mind, spirit to spirit. I wrote about my latest one in a
recent blog. It helped me understand His power of discernment and intuition to
such a degree that I understood perfectly there is nothing He does not know
about His children. It’s almost like we are transparent and He can see into our
very souls. I was amazed by this. When I shared this experience on social
media, one of my readers asked me if I felt love in His presence.
This made
me reflect on the other occasions I was privileged to hear Him speak to me. I
realized that I did not feel the love…..not because He doesn’t love me or I was
preventing the feeling of it, but because of something very logical that I
believe to be true.
It’s a
matter of something inherent in us that this story is a good example of. Some
years ago, my then bishop in his talk told us how his young son came to him
with skinned knees. He assessed the damage, told his son it wasn’t that bad and
that he’ll be ok. The son went on his way. A few minutes later, the bishop’s
wife appeared with their son in tow alarmed demanding that they take him to the
hospital because he had skinned both his knees. We all laughed because we could
see the difference in the gender response.
Women are
by nature emotional and subjective and men are pragmatic and objective. Because
of their inherent nature, men’s judgment is not clouded by emotion. God the
Father is a man, He assesses the skinned knees and can cope with our sorrow and
this is why….. He is a God whose primary objective is eternal salvation of His
children. He is not interested in rescuing us from life’s difficulties at the
cost of our eternal progression. He instructs, He disciplines and He chastens
those He loves to bring them to higher ground. He wants us to learn from our
falls and to get tough enough to soldier on. In every instance I heard Him, I was corrected, I was instructed and He kept me in line. This is love, perhaps the best love
there is.
I learnt
how important this is when I was a single mother raising my two daughters. I am
an emotional female and a self-sacrificing one at that. I did everything I
could to protect my children from any pain or discomfort. I realized later they
were ill equipped to handle the harsh realities of life because they had no
father’s influence in the home to toughen them up. From this experience I also understood
why Heavenly Mother is not in charge of our earthly probation. I am convinced
she would sabotage our growth left, right, and center. I know I would, because
I am a woman and a mother who cannot bear the suffering of my children.
God the
Father looks at the overall picture….from a different vantage point than we do.
He looks ahead to see how we will ‘grow up’. This is love. And it might not be
felt until Judgment Day when our Advocate will step forward and reveal our
difficulties that need mercy applied to. This is the partnership: the Father is
justice and the Son is mercy.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Father and Son by Danny Hahlbohm)
Your arms, so willing and so strong,
Dived into the deep and shattered my sorrow;
The depth was no match for the strength
You gained at Calvary so long ago.
Your saving grace
Has lifted me to Your cross
Becoming my mortal weakness’ greatest foe.
I now walk with You
In paths I dare not walk alone;
In the valley of shadow of death,
I rejoice to be Your own.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: God of Wonder by Yongsung Kim)
