THE MIGHTY DAVID

 

There has not been a king who loved the God of Israel more than King David. When he conquered Jerusalem he brought the ark of the covenant into the city ‘with gladness’ and led a procession of Israelites playing instruments, shouting, singing and dancing ‘before the Lord with all his might’ in praise of the God he worshipped (2 Samuel 6:12-15). No king of Israel was more free from idolatrous inclinations or practices than David. Because of this, he became the standard of excellence that all subsequent kings came to be measured by (The Old Testament Student Manual Book 2, Enrichment F-1).

David’s valour and his accomplishments as  king were outstanding. His reign is known in the annals of history as ‘the golden age of Israel’ (The Old Testament Student Manual Book 1 p 287). His love for the God of Israel can leave you breathless through the psalms he wrote about Him. But David was also the greatest tragedy of the ancient world. His life is the most dualistic out of any and accentuates Jehovah’s warning about kings. It goes on to show, the higher the rise, the greater the fall. To understand the tragedy of the fall we must understand his accomplishments as a king.

David did three things for temporal Israel that typify what Christ will do for spiritual Israel.  Firstly, following Saul's death, Israel's kingdom was divided in two for seven years. The tribe of Judah accepted David as their king and the rest of the tribes of Israel were ruled by Ishbosheth, one of the sons of Saul, whom Abner, Saul's commanding general set up as the new king (2 Sam 2:8-9).

 

Despite being anointed as Israel's king, by Samuel, the prophet, David refrained from taking action against Ishbosheth in honour of the covenant he made with Jonathan not to retaliate against Saul's family when he came to power. Following Ishbosheth's murder David showed great wisdom and judgment by executing the two men responsible (see (2 Samuel 3). This brought him into favour with the tribes under Ishbosheth and ultimately united all twelve tribes into one nation under the ultimate leadership of God.

 

Secondly, David succeeded in winning the whole extent of the promised land for the covenant people. For the first time the chosen people of the Lord controlled the whole land promised to Abraham's posterity nearly a thousand years earlier.

 

Thirdly, David established Zion or Jerusalem as the spiritual and political center of Israel. Under David's reign Israel reached its golden age. Never before had Israel achieved such heights of power nor did they ever again. (Old Testament Student Manual, Book 1 p 291)

 

All this for the love of Jehovah and then this: “….As the transgressor moves deeper and deeper in his sin, and the error is entrenched more deeply and the will to change is weakened, it becomes increasingly near-hopeless, and he skids down and down until either he does not want to climb back or he has lost the power to do so.” (President Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 117). This became the tragic path of David but more of that later….

 

So do we hold David in our esteem as the greatest Israel king or do we think of him as a tragedy to be remembered???

 

David was anointed to sit on the throne of Israel and to establish the royal family that would produce the King of Kings who would one day sit ‘on the throne of his father David’ (Luke 1:32-33).  My question is this: was David chosen to be an example of the good King who was to come or was he chosen to show that no king can be as good as the King that was to come????? I often think our present-day governments will with their weakness and corruption accentuate the blessing that the King of Kings will be when He comes to govern the world.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: King David Playing the Harp by Gerard Van Honthorst [1622]

HE WHO KNOWS ME BEST

 

By His Wounds by Chris Brazelton

The greatest surprise of this stage of my life, as I struggle with bad health, is how it has affected me mentally and how I have responded to it. I never knew its effects would be so far and wide. As I have looked back over my life, I had to admit to myself that I didn’t know beforehand how I would react to anything I have experienced in my life.

Sometimes we think we know ourselves but we really don’t. I have noticed the push in our society is to invest ourselves in achieving this very thing….we are told it’s the greatest thing we can do. Experience, however, seems to do that with great proficiency.  This is why we are here.  

I had a very unusual experience which I wrote about recently. I was musing about my life, which is happening more often than ever before as I approach the last leg of my journey here. As I was reflecting, I found myself in my mind in front of the great Judge, God the Father. He asked me three questions: How did you enjoy your mortal probation? What do you think you learnt from it? How do you think you did overall?

An understanding like no other flooded my being that there was nothing I could hide or tell half-truths about because He knew the very essence of my being: my innermost thoughts and intents, my sins, my rebellious moments in response to my sufferings, the times I had questioned Him and His goodness, my dislikes and likes, my conduct, my earthly indignities, my ingratitude, everything that made me tick….there was nothing, absolutely nothing about me or in me that He did not know. Every time I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. I knew with every fibre of my being that He knew the answer to every question before I could form it in my mind.

I felt like I was transparent before Him. He was not watching me but looking into the very depths of my soul. It was as if He was inside me. I understood clearly as I understand that day follows night because I can see it, that God is so inter-connected with His children that it defies our mortal understanding. We, here and now, do not know and cannot fathom our spiritual origin or the Father’s connection with His children. God is beyond our understanding.

Then hope flooded my being. I had nothing to say and would not need to. There was someone else who saw into the very depths of my soul during the greatest moment of suffering known to man. He who absorbed the totality of my life could and would answer all the questions the Father would have of my conduct on Judgment Day: my intentions, my achievements, my failings. He, the Advocate who suffered for my soul would with His strength make up for my frailty (D&C 45:4-5). 

This is grace, the ultimate all-encompassing gift, second only to eternal life. This grace too is beyond our understanding. We will fully come to know it when we are face to face with the justice of the Father. We will know then who the Saviour truly is…a sacrifice that none of us could give, a hope of salvation, another God we are yet to comprehend.

Often You come into my mind

And I wonder about my ‘enoughs’:

Did I go to Church enough?

Did I serve enough?

Have I done enough?

 

I see you in my heart smiling

And I know….

What will matter in the end the most

Is not what I have done

But what I have become.

 

I follow in Your footsteps

And try to be like Thee

But often fail because of weakness

that is in me.

 

Your blood flows from Calvary still

And I hear You say:

It is enough, I will make up the rest,

I accept Your holy quest!

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

THE WISH

 

I look back on my upbringing years in Croatia during the 60s with great fondness. A large part of my gratitude goes to the Catholic Church for giving me my foundation of faith in God. I cannot separate my memories of my country from my Catholic upbringing. It was so much a part of my youth. I was the one in my family that attended Church services and confessions. It was an entire culture of my upbringing and all I knew of life.

At the end of the street we lived in was the cemetery with our local church. That cemetery with the church was the focal point of our neighbourhood. We had to walk through it to get to three other streets. In one of those streets was my school so the cemetery and the Church became my daily visit. School was divided into two shifts, the morning shift and the afternoon shift. The afternoon shift didn’t end until 6 pm. In winter, when the sun went down early, it was an interesting walk home….

I never looked at the cemetery with morbid attitude. I am a poet and I feel deeply. I knew graves with poetic and heart rendering prose on the gravestones. I knew where children were buried and I knew which graves were visited often. All Saints Day was one of my favourite times of the year. The cemetery came alive with visitors coming and going all day and at night the place was alight with candles. It was magical.

The cemetery was also our playground with luscious grass to configure the clouds in our minds and to simply get together with friends and play. This is where we smelled the first sign of spring with the violets and new flowers born after the snow had melted. It also heralded one of my favourite times of the year – Easter. Easter Sunday found us at Church with our baskets of food for the priest to bless. Christmas was another. Buying presents was not the custom I was ever familiar with. What I looked forward to the most was the nativity scene in our Church. Christmas was all about Jesus.

When my family moved to Australia in my early teens, my world changed. As I saw beyond my little Croatian town, my thinking and wondering went into overdrive. By the time I was 16, I was asking serious questions like, ‘what is the purpose of life?’ and  ‘why am I here on this planet?’ I realized that the Catholic Church did not have a lot of answers.

I found the answer to my purpose in life when I was 17 years old, in the doctrine of a church I had heard about, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is called The Plan of Salvation. It blew me away with its simplicity and truthfulness. It taught me that I lived with God in pre-earth life as a spirit and that I was born into mortality to one day be resurrected to immortality and live with God again. And not just to live with Him but to become like Him, who is a resurrected, exalted God.

In this Church, I found Christ. He was no longer someone out of my reach that I believed died for me but a personal Saviour of my soul, with a kinship going back to the life I lived before. My association with Him deepened over the years. The more I learnt of Him, the more of an idol He became. I know I wanted to be like Him before I was even born because He was and is the path to my eternal existence.

I know who He is, He is ……the bread of life (John 6:31,51), the light of the world (8:12), the good shepherd (10:11,14), the resurrection and life (11:25), the way, the truth and the life (14:6). He is also the potter and we are the clay in His hands (Isaiah 64:8). He makes of us what we can never become on our own. He is the Master builder and the Master healer of our souls. He is our only hope of salvation and there is none else (Isaiah 43:10-11; 45:5,6,14,18,22; 46:9; Deut 4:35,39; 5:8; 1 Kings 8:60; D&C 76:1; 2 Nephi 25:20; 31:21; Moses 6:52)

I had a memory from my pre-earth life some time ago. I was sitting with the Saviour and He was saying to me: “I will save you and I will make up for everything.” When I cry my tears, it’s a memory to hold onto.

 

When in the realms of heaven

You asked me what in mortality

I wanted to be,

It was so easy, I said I wanted

To be like Thee.

 

You warned me of the suffering

That would have to equal in measure

To what you would suffer for me;

That my life would not be easy

But that You would

make up for everything.

 

Now I am here,

I fear the refiners’ fire of the kiln

When Your potter hands are moulding me

But I try to be the woman I was who said

She wanted to be like Thee.

 

Some days I want to change my wish

I am not worthy to bear my suffering,

But then I notice the chains

around my heart are broken,

and I remember:

You will make up for everything.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Spring of Life by Chris Brazelton)

Chris Brazelton - Official Website

ODE TO THE HOLY GHOST

 

When you softly whisper to my soul

I know the Father is there

Ever mindful of my needful care.

 

When you softly whisper to my soul

I know the Saviour will rescue me

When I am tempest tossed onto a troubled sea.

 

When you softly whisper to my soul

I know angels are waiting to lift my heart

In the still of the darkest night.

 

When you softly whisper to my soul

I know You will bring me home

And never abandon my care,

You are the gift that will guide me there.

 

-          CATHRYNE ALLEN

- (Art: The Comforter by Danny Hahlbohm) 

THE LOVE OF GOD PART 2

 

“During the last several decades a heresy regarding God’s love has surfaced. The heresy states that God’s love is unconditional. The heresy first started with humanist psychologists who invented the term. Unconditional love, they taught, is the love that parents ought to have for their children. Eventually, the term was adopted into Christian dialogue to describe God’s love. However, the term is never found in the scriptures. Rather, it is a classic example of mingling philosophies of men with scripture.”  (Bruce Satterfield, Gospel Doctrine Lesson 44: God Is Love, November 2, 2015)

This theory has been supported by the leaders of the Church for many years yet I still hear people at the pulpit expressing thanks that God loves them unconditionally. President Russell M. Nelson authored an article in the Church magazine entitled “Divine Love” back in 2003 in which he addressed this false definition of God’s love:

“While divine love can be called perfect, infinite, enduring, and universal, it cannot correctly be characterized as unconditional. The word does not appear in the scriptures. On the other hand many verses affirm that the higher levels of the Father and the Son feel for each of us- and certain divine blessings stemming from that love – are conditional.” (Ensign, February 2003)

It would seem that this article was not persuasive enough so the message was repeated 13 years later in General Conference:

“There are many ways to describe and speak of divine love. One of the terms we hear often today is that God’s love is ‘unconditional’. While in one sense that is true, the descriptor unconditional appears nowhere in scripture. Rather, His love is described in scripture as ‘great and wonderful love’, ‘perfect love’, ‘redeeming love’ and ‘everlasting love’. These are better terms because the word unconditional can convey mistaken impressions about divine love, such as, God tolerates and excuses anything we do because His love is unconditional, or God makes no demands upon us because His love is unconditional, or all are saved in the heavenly kingdom of God because His love is unconditional. God’s love is infinite and it will endure forever, but what it means for each of us depends on how we respond to His love.”  (Elder D. Todd Christofferson, “Abide in My Love” October 2016 General Conference)

This is what we can find in scriptures that can illuminate our understanding of God’s love:

“If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.” (John 15:9-10)

“Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love.” (D&C 6:20)

“….whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected.” (1 John 2:5)

“…..if you keep not my commandments, the love of the Father shall not continue with you…” (D&C 95:12)

God loves all His creations universally because God is love but there are degrees of His love individually. I learnt this through personal experience. I have two daughters. The oldest has been a dream to raise, the youngest took me to hell and back. I can honestly say that I feel different towards the younger daughter because she has caused me pain, stress, and worry. I still love her because she is my daughter and I would welcome her back into my life, but I give much more of myself to the daughter who returns my love with regard, respect and care. Love is a two-way street…..

One last thought: many of us suffer from mental health issues in this day and age and we tend to behave in ways that would help us cope with our condition and not necessarily in disregard of God. My hope is that we would turn to Him as a coping mechanism and thereby experience His divine love. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: As I have Loved You by Greg Olsen)

YOUR LOVE DIVINE

 

My heart overflows with gratitude

For my darkest nights

Because they bring You to me

Flowing like a river with its strongest might.

I bask in Your presence,

I surrender my soul,

I am grounded in Your strength

I am strong enough to carry on.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Jesus the Symbol of Hope by Ivan Guaderrama)

THE LOVE OF GOD PART 1

 

“God’s love, understood as His desire for a relationship with us, is unconditional. In fact, God commands all men and women everywhere to repent and come to Him (3 Nephi 11:32). He desires to redeem us, to glorify and exalt us equally and unconditionally. Does God desire to have an eternal relationship with all His children? Yes, and in this sense God’s love is unconditional. ‘All are invited, none is excluded.’ But it takes two people to have a relationship.

“A relationship by definition, requires two points of reference, and only some of God’s children love Him back and agree to enter into the desired relationship. He does not initially love them any more than others, but in time the relationship of love that is possible with them is much, much greater than it is with those who reject Him. They ‘abide in His love’ (John 15:10)

“Many of God’s children will not love Him. They will not accept the proposal of the Bridegroom, though He loves them dearly. They will never experience the joy the gospel marriage brings. However, that is not because God is unwilling or because they failed to meet conditions that would have rendered Him willing. It is because they will not accept His proposal; they will not come to the wedding. Though He loved them first, they did not love Him back, and by their choice the relationship will not be as great as it might have been – they refuse to ‘abide in His love’.”  (Stepehen R. Robinson, Following Christ, 149-150)

A few years ago I wrote a post on Facebook saying that God the Father loves His Son the most out of all His children. One reader was enraged. He claimed that God is perfect and has the ability to love all his children equally. He said he would be devastated if his children thought he had a favourite. I was, on the other hand, astounded that he would consider himself on equal grounds in Father’s esteem with the Saviour of the world and was in his sinful state deserving of the same love. In my view, the Saviour deserves that and even more.

Through my study of the scriptures I have come to understand why the Saviour would be loved the most:

-          He saved all the rest of the Father’s children through His Atoning sacrifice and paved the way to eternal life for those who accept Him (D&C 19:16-19).

-          His perfect and complete obedience: During His visit to the Americas, The Saviour made 15 references of His obedience to the Father (3 Nephi 15: 14-16,18-19, 16:3,10,16; 17:2; 18:14,27; 20:10,14,46), including the reference to the greatest act of obedience ever, that of being sent by the Father to the cross (3 Nephi 27:13-14). In the meridian of time, He told his disciples: “I do always those things that please Him” (John 8:29). How many of us can say this?

-          Nobody loves the Father more than Christ. This He showed very clearly in pre-earth life when He volunteered to preserve His glory and opposed Satan who sought to take it away (Moses 4:1-4). I don’t recall any of us stepping up volunteering for this…….

-          Jesus was not only Father’s spirit child but His ONLY mortal child hence the Father calls Him ‘The Only Begotten’ and ‘The Beloved Son’….the references of which are too numerous to list.

-          Christ was and is the most righteous of all Father’s children and ‘he that is righteous is FAVOURED of God’ (1 Nephi 17:35).

-          And finally…..Mormon called the Son of the Father ‘His MOST beloved’ (Mormon 5:14).

A female reader attempted to support the man who challenged my Facebook post and said that the Father loves ALL His children.  I asked her if He loves Satan too considering that God cannot love evil which Satan has become and through his evil has destroyed many of Father’s children as opposed to Christ who has saved us all. She answered ‘yes’. Some of us are deluded beyond recognition…..

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Father and Son by Danny Hahlbohm)

Diana Hahlbohm - Official Website

I HEAR YOUR VOICE

 

I hear Your voice in empty silence

When loneliness envelops me;

I hear Your voice in violent storms

That plague Me in mortality;

I hear Your voice in my struggles

That never let me be;

I hear Your voice when You pilot me

On dangerous journeys of earthly seas;

I hear Your voice beckoning me

To stay the course because

You will never abandon me.

I hear Your voice getting closer

And more distinct on the narrow path

That leads me home to Thee.

I see Your arms wide open

Waiting to welcome me.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Be Not Afraid by LDS Book Store)

THE COURAGE TO GO HOME

 

Sometimes we make such a mess of our lives that we have to admit it. The parable of the Prodigal Son is the best example of this (see Luke 15). I see in this parable an analogy that could apply to all of us.

To recap, a man had two sons. Imagine you are the younger and you wanted to leave home and make your own way in the world and perhaps sow some wild oats.  You plan to part ways with your family so you ask your father for your inheritance. The plan was to have some fun and even gamble and maybe make some speculative investments to double your money. You are sure there is an easier way to make it than your father tilling his fields.

The father obliges and sends you out into the world. No doubt he can see that you could learn a few lessons. Much like our Father in Heaven who had sent us down to earth not just to learn a few lessons but to eventually become like Him and enjoy the riches of eternity.

The older brother in the Parable, the heir of all his father had, was pretty much of the opinion that his brother deserved all the misfortune he got. This brother never sought him who was lost, despite the kinship, despite the brotherhood, despite the father's sorrow over his loss.

Our older brother, on the other hand, knowing from the beginning that He alone would inherit all the Father has, had a very different approach to the situation. Knowing that none of us could come back home by our own efforts, in essence said: ‘I will pave the way, I will seek them and I will bring them back.

So you the prodigal, with your inheritance spent are now reduced to the lowest form of poverty and misery that the world can offer. You find yourself sleeping and eating the husks with the pigs in your service. Imagine such degradation and suffering as eating and sleeping with pigs, especially for one of an honorable parentage who was raised in wealth and was attended to by servants.

Your suffering is extreme, you can sink no lower. You reflect on the home of your youth and the security and safety you had there and how well you were provided for. If only you could go home to the Father who loved you!  But you have no means to make your way back. And you are in agony of remorse for what you have done. The guilt and shame is consuming you.

And then, the unthinkable happens. Your older brother finds you and tells you he will pay for your way home and he will redeem you from all your debts and he will even share his inheritance with you. There are some conditions that will have to be met to ensure your return but you will be saved from the failure your life has become. It is almost too good to be true and you hesitate in your weakness.

And then the hope and courage is born to follow your brother home! You would go home to the father who loved you and would surely forgive you and allow you to serve him. You would go home to the father who would lift you out of the misery and hopelessness you had fallen into. You would go home because there was a path of return, with a price paid to cover all your debts.

What exquisite hope his father was to the prodigal! How that hope would have lifted him out of the mire he was in and propelled him to return home! And what courage was given him by his brother who sought him to bring him home! He was not forgotten and he was wanted!

So here some of us are, like the prodigal, eating husks with the swine for this is not much more that this world has to offer. What hope our Father must have had when He sent us out into the world that we would remember the splendour we came from, that we would want to run home.

 

And so a great sacrifice was made for our return. The Son who came to guide and to seek us to bring us home climbed the hill of Calvary so that we could in our lowest earthly moments say:

For me Your body was broken,

For me Your blood was spilt,

For me Your death was offered

That I might live with You still.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Modern Prodigal Son by Liz Lemon Swindle)

The Official Website of Liz Lemon Swindle – Lizlemonswindle

A STEP OF FAITH

 

Never before had a fisherman stepped

Onto the waves of the sea.

He knew how quickly they could

Take him into the depths of the deep.

But the Master had bid him come

And he ached to be with Him.

 

Like Peter of old, I fear to step

Out of the rocking boat,

I fear losing the ground beneath my feet.

 

I see Him in the distance,

His hand outstretched waiting for me,

I too long to be with Him

But the waves try so eagerly to swallow me.

 

The boat rocks and seeks to destroy me,

I cry my tears of daily pain

And I wonder if anything of me will remain.

 

I wait for Him to come to me to rescue me

And like Peter deliver me from the depths

Of the raging sea;

I hear Him say:

“To know yourself,

YOU have to come to ME.”

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Step of Faith by Michael Malm)

 

TO KNOW YOURSELF

 

“Why did the Lord ask such things of Abraham? Because, knowing what his future would be and that he would be the father of an innumerable posterity, He was determined to test him. God did not do this for His own sake for He knew by His foreknowledge what Abraham would do; but the purpose was to impress upon Abraham a lesson to enable him to attain unto knowledge that he could not obtain in any other way.

“That is why God tries all of us. It is not for his own knowledge for He knows all things beforehand. He knows all your lives and everything you will do. But He tries us for our own good that WE MAY KNOW OURSELVES; for it most important that a man should know himself.”

-          George Q. Cannon, (Gospel Truth, comp. Jerreld L. Newquist, 2 Vols [1974] 1:113)

I am beginning to see the truth of this. Just as God wanted Abraham to know what Abraham would do in the most severe of circumstances, he desires this for us too. We can only know what we will do if we are placed in a situation that requires our response. To know our commitment to God, we have to be asked to show it under adverse conditions.  To know our strength, we have to be asked to flex our muscles.

There are tests of faith where we have to reach back past our earthly lives and into our pre-mortal lives to discover who we truly are and have always been. Mortal life is a state of weakness. It’s also a state of inheritance of intergenerational habits and teachings we have be programmed to follow. That is not to say that because one of our parents was weak with something, we have to be weak too but sometimes breaking the cycle of weakness is a daunting task.

Many of us do not believe in ourselves. Either we have been taught to feel that way since birth or we have had a particularly adverse experience that has caused us to mistrust ourselves. The biggest disadvantage, however, is that we do not remember how brilliant we were before we came to this earth. Consider this thought:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…it is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us. You may ask yourself, “Who am I to be brilliant, talented and fabulous?”  Actually, who are you NOT to be? You were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within you. It is not just some of us…. It is all of us. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. “ (Marianne Williamson, “A Return To Love – Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles”)

We of the second estate were brave enough to fight the Son of the Morning and his angels for our turn on earth and our eternal destiny (Revelation 12:7-9; D&C 76:25-26; Moses 4:1-4; Isaiah 14:12-15; Abraham 3:27-28). This is the strength and this is the power which we need to reach back for when we are tested to be proven worthy of that which we wanted before we were born –  eternal life with God – our eternal destiny.

Right now I am going through the testing ground I did not expect. I feel like God has put me in a jail and said to me: “You will not be able to do anything unaided. I will bring you down to the depths of humility and show you your weakness and your strength. I will make you lose the you that you have become in this mortal shell and I will reveal to you who you have always been, who you were when you were with Me. To get to know yourself, you have to lose yourself.”

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting,

The soul that rises with us, our life’s star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting

And cometh from afar;

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness

But trailing clouds of glory

Do we come from God, who is our home.

(William Wordsworth, Ode on Intimations of Immortality)

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Enlightenment by Judy Cooley)

Judy Cooley Art – Uplifting & Joyful LDS Paintings – Altus Fine Art

BE STILL MY SOUL

 

Be still my soul

And know that He leads you

By the voice of His heart.

He beckons and He calls

Your spirit to ignite

To truth and godly path.

 

His love will find you,

He will lead you and save your soul,

He is the Shepherd

Who will answer your call.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art by AI)

IDEALISM VS REALITY

 

I am a chronic idealist. I came to understand this about myself at a deeper level one year when I discovered the definition of different existent personalities. I found myself in the key characteristics of one of the rarest personality types called the INFJ personality, also known as the Advocate. INFJs are insightful, driven by a strong moral compass, intuitive and idealistic to a fault.

It sounds good but all that idealism has one huge drawback. Strong idealism can lead to unrealistic expectations and difficulty in handling life. A friend I made some years ago found it difficult to understand why such strong optimism would come out of my mouth when I was teaching lessons at Church but then would dissolve into tears in my private life. She said: “I don’t understand. This is not you”. She thought it was just a matter of maintaining positivity and I was failing. I couldn’t understand it either. I thought I was just weak. When I came across the definition of the INFJ personality some time later, it was like staring in the mirror.

I have tried since then not to let many people into my private world to see my vulnerabilities because even though I long to be understood, I feel constantly judged and yes my personality also struggles with judgment. Sometimes I feel like I am Jekyl and Hyde.

Because of my idealistic nature, I live in a cloud of faith. Pragmatic approach to problems is difficult. My intuitive trait focuses on the big picture and possibilities rather than concrete details. This has been the hardest trial of my last two years of bad health. My faith in everything I have ever believed in has been tested to the limit.

This is the difficulty: faith is believing in the unseen. It is idealism at its finest because it rarely manifests itself in reality. Things of the spirit are difficult to see, touch and deal with yet they are acutely real to the person who feels it in their soul. That’s me.

One of my favourite stories from the life of Jesus is when He and His disciples travelled toward Jerusalem and found themselves hungry. When He saw a fig tree in the way, He approached it and finding nothing on it but leaves, He cursed the tree that it would not bear fruit ever again. The fig tree withered away as He spoke (Matthew 21:17-20).

When His disciples marveled, Jesus delivered the greatest discourse on faith but at the same time the ultimate idealistic achievement ever: “Verily, I say unto you, if ye have faith, and doubt  not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.” (v 21)

Now, when you think of a mountain, its density, its size, its weight, its evolvement through time, it makes the mountain the most concrete and impossible thing ever to be subject to the power of faith. Yet a man called the Brother of Jared did this very thing in ancient America when “he said to the mount Zerin, remove – and it was removed” (Ether 12:30). As we know, this man also saw the pre-mortal Christ as a result of his undaunting faith (Ether 3:9)

I have studied a lot about faith over the years and especially about its role in healing since I have suffered from bad health. I have been told in the scriptures that if I have faith I can be healed of anything (D&C 42:49-51). So strong is the power of faith that people in the meridian of time brought their sick into the streets and laid them on beds and couches so that a shadow of Peter passing by might overshadow them and heal them (Acts 5:12-15). Special miracles were also performed by the hands of Paul: “From his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.” (Acts 19:12)

This is what I call manifesting faith and it’s the kind of faith that I want and feel I should have as a Christian. Is it any wonder that my faith is being tested through the mountain called ‘pain’ that is obstructing my view? Some would call this mountain reality. To me it is an ideal to strive for.

Stay tuned. Perhaps this ideal will one day turn into reality. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: No Man Knoweth the Hour by Liz Lemon Swindle)