OF GENERATIONS

 

I remember hearing a story years ago about a woman who had the habit of cutting off the end of the leg of lamb before baking. When she was asked why she did that she said her mother always did it so she thought that was the right way to bake lamb. When the mother was questioned she said her mother always did it so she thought that it should be done. When the grandmother was questioned she said she didn’t have a roasting pan big enough so she had to cut off the end of the leg. The things we pass on stays in us…..

I have many times recognized things about me that were intergenerational beliefs, attitudes and programming. Many of my European inclinations and characteristics became quite obvious in contrast to the western society norm when my family moved to Australia. I had to change some things about myself to fit into my new environment.

While I was growing up in Croatia, I was very aware of the animosity that existed between the Croats and Serbs. I am sure it went back to the land somehow but nobody of my generation or even my parents’ generation understood why exactly we weren’t supposed to like each other. Even though my parents didn’t fully understand, they were, nevertheless, quick to promote their disdain because it was expected.

We are very much the sum of those who went before us…..the generations whose blood runs in our veins. We are the inheritors of their personalities and characteristics, good or bad. On a personal level, I remember seeing my mother more than once in tears saying: “God created me to suffer.”  And yes I have focused on a lot of my suffering in life because of that. Like mother, like daughter. I also picked up her propensity to criticize others. To this day I am vigilant about this flaw.

I come from generations of poor peasants who lived under the feudal system and then under socialism. My paternal grandmother had six children. When one of them died in infancy she said: “Well, that’s one less mouth to feed.” I never saw this grandmother smile in my whole life. The generations of poverty mentality, likewise, has followed me around for most of my life. Not that I am rich now, but I no longer care.

There are a number of places in the scriptures where God says: “I will visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me” (see Deut 5:9,10; Exodus 20:5,6). It puzzled me why the children would have to be punished because of the sins of their fathers. I came to realise with time that hate very much gets passed down from generation to generation. It begins with someone but never ends with them and it evolves into a serious sin. A classical example is the Middle East.

Generational flaws and sins can end with any generation and this is how. When we are born into this world, we take upon ourselves our father’s name. When we are spiritually born through baptism, we take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ. We become CHRISTians. King Benjamin explained this means that we become ‘the children of Christ’. He mentions the importance of having Christ’s name 11 times in 6 verses of Mosiah 5 (V 7-12). Why is this important? Because, just as we are genetically predisposed to inherit physical and mental traits of our earthly fathers, so we, when we take upon ourselves the name of Christ, and live his teachings, inherit His spiritual qualities. In other words, we become like Him by the virtue of our newly acquired parental bond (Moroni 7:48). This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘you’re just like your father’, does it not???

I know love existed in the generations of my family. Europeans are passionate people. I have inherited that quality from them. I think deeply and I feel deeply. The memory of them ties me to my homeland. I look forward to meeting those whose names I only know on paper, when I pass on to next life. I want to shower them with love and bring them to God who has given me meaning and understanding of my humanity. I want to resolve their long-held prejudices that have robbed them of their potential. I want to tell them they were not born to suffer.

 

Your life has come and gone

But your footprints remain

And your blood courses through my veins.

I know your smile and your frown

Though we have never met.

They are worn by my children

As gems in family diadem;

You are the root

That reaches the branches,

I am the stem that paves the way.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art Unknown)