MOMENTS OF DESPAIR

 

When I feel forsaken

In my greatest moments of despair,

I yearn to feel You near me,

I wonder if You are there.

 

I know You are watching,

And whispering for me to know:

To know your strength to conquer,

Some moments you have to face alone.

I understand, it has to be so,

I faced mine at Calvary long ago.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: In the Wilderness by Ron DiCianni)

FOR OUR FREEDOM

 

 

Some of us live with what others would deem insurmountable mountains to climb whilst some of us live with what others would deem easy obstacles and trials. I don’t know why some are living under extreme earthly conditions while others appear to live in the lap of luxury but I do believe in the wisdom of God and trust that He has us all under His watchful eye. I believe He is the master architect and planner of our eternal welfare. 

 

The Greek word translated as ‘redemption’ means liberation through payment of a ransom. It was a term widely used anciently to refer to payment for slaves in order to set them free. Through the Atonement, the Saviour purchased our freedom from ‘slavery’ to sin and every effect of mortality, including death. There is no sin or condition of mortality that is bigger than the Atonement therefore there is nothing that we cannot be saved from. I think of Alma the Younger being 'in the darkest abyss', his soul being 'racked with eternal torment' (Mosiah 27:28,29). Amidst all that anguish of soul, Alma describes his deliverance with an interesting word. He says he was ‘snatched’ from eternal torment and everlasting burning. Imagine the Saviour's willingness to go to the fires of hell to deliver one of the vilest of sinners. To me this means He would go to the darkest abyss of eternity to rescue us from suffering. 

 

Each of us lives in our own personal slavery. It’s called mortality. I live with the ‘inadequacy syndrome’. No matter how well I am doing, I can always see my faulty side much clearer than my good side. I sometimes fear I am offending God with my very being……..I am a slave to inadequacy and self-criticism....and other mortal weaknesses. Some of us are slaves to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness and a myriad of other mental disorders. All of these bring with them a degree of suffering, no less than more extreme conditions some of us live under. Our sufferings are personalised but our escape is assured. Whether it comes in this life or the next, we WILL be free because of the root of our salvation, the facilitator of our happiness, the well of living water, the fountain of all righteousness, Christ the King. 

 

I long to reside in Your presence;

To never know sadness

Or the wretched heat of my tears.

I know I will be safe there

Where fears cannot find me

And trials cannot scar me.

I know there will be safety

In the shadow of Your wings

My burdens You will lift

And wipe away my sins.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

IF ALL PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED

 

”If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith. 

If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there would be no evil – all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls. Should all prayers be immediately answered according our desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, nor eternal life and godhood.” 

(President Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, p 97).

 

I have just one thing to add to this powerful message. Years ago I read an article written by a young woman in the Church whose father had died of cancer. She described his end as horrific. She said she learnt that the popular belief that ‘God would not give us anything we could not handle’ is false. She was convinced that God would do exactly that, for one purpose and one purpose only, to bring us to Christ, because this is what happened to her father. I wholeheartedly agree with this concept because I believe that everything in this life is designed for this very purpose: to bring us to the Saviour who can make us mighty to endure; deliver us from any evil; and ultimately bring us to salvation. Whatever the plan for our life, whatever the individual tutoring we have agreed to before we were born, we have this promise: “I will go before you and be your rearward; and I will be in your midst…..” (D&C 49:27).

 

The winds of tribulation scatter my hopes

Like feathers they lift to the sky.

They find you there ever waiting to answer my pleas;

To restore that which is lost,

To renew that which is broken,

To gift that which was never foreseen,

To make me rise to heights unknown.

 

- CATHRYE ALLEN

(Art: The Master's Call by Phil McKay)

A MODEL OF OBEDIENCE

Imagine having a son who never questions your wisdom and follows your counsel and guidance with exactness, never wavering. Imagine having a son who does not think your ideas are outdated and your dreams foolishness. A son who is willing to follow you to the ends of the earth and who respects your patriarchal leadership within the family. Imagine a son who never shirks from what you ask of him no matter how hard the task. One who has complete trust in God and never deviates from his commitment to Him. A son who knows his limitations and strengths yet never allows pride to lift him higher than his fellow beings. This was Nephi.

What a delight this man must have been to his parents. Lehi would never have succeeded in putting his foot on the promised land if it were not for his obedient son. Besides the physical requirements of such a journey which were beyond Lehi in his later years, such as obtaining the brass plates, hunting for food and building a ship, one other instance stands out to prove this theory. When Nephi broke his bow and the family were facing dire consequences from want of food, even his father began to murmur against God together with the rest of the family (1 Nephi 16:20). It must have looked to Nephi like the whole enterprise of this little colony was at peril of falling apart giving way to mutiny if his father lost focus so Nephi chose to be proactive and mend the situation. He made a bow of wood and proceeded to ask his father where he should go to hunt (1 Nephi 16:23). It would have been so easy for Nephi to step in right there and then and take over as the leader of his family. After all, he came up with the solution and he brought the relief. He was showing initiative as a leader. Nephi, however, knew that the journey to the promised land had to be under the leadership of him who first received the revelation and he also knew that all credit for guidance and deliverance had to be given to God (1 Nephi 16:29), so he asked his father where he should go to hunt. How useless Lehi would have felt had his son undermined him by taking matters into his own hands. Instead Nephi placed him back on the path of leadership and repentance before the Lord. So Nephi not only provided his father with physical support but a spiritual one also.

Perhaps in no other way was Nephi more Christ-like than in the principle of obedience. What enalbled Nephi to be so completely obedient to a god who did not spare him from hardships and perils of life? Nephi himself gives us the answer to this question: 'to follow God, one must want God'. Early in Nephi's record he states plainly that he sought to understand the mysteries of God and that this seeking alone bore such fruit that he had no desire to rebel against his father or against God (1 Nephi 2:16). Knowing God and having God in our lives therefore is the first step towards the ability to be obedient. The second most important thing that Nephi did was make God his partner in life. This he did by swearing with an oath when he had to accomplish difficult tasks, such as obtain the brass plates. On more than one occasion Nephi uttered the words "As the Lord liveth" cementing his determination to achieve the desired end. Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained the significance of this statement:

"This matter of swearing with an oath in ancient days was far more significant than many of us have realised. For instance: Nephi and his brethren were seeking to obtain the brass plates from Laban. Their lives were in peril. Yet Nephi swore this oath: 'As the Lord liveth, and as we live, we will not go down unto our father in the wilderness until we have accomplished the thing which the Lord hath commanded us' (1 Nephi 3:15). Thus Nephi made God his partner. If he failed to get the plates, it meant God had failed. And because God does not fail, it was incumbent upon Nephi to get the plates or lay down his life in the attempt." (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, C.R. April 1982, pp 49,50)

Hugh Nibley's explanation of the significance of the words of the oath helps us understand further Nephi's seriousness of this partnership:

"....the oath is the one thing that is most sacred and inviolable among the desert people: 'Hardly will an Arab break this oath, even if his life be in jeopardy,' for 'there is nothing stronger, and nothing more sacred than the oath among the nomads,' and even among the city Arabs, if it be exacted under special conditions. But not every oath will do: to be most binding and solemn an oath should be by the life of something, even if it be but a blade of grass; the only oath more awful than 'by my life' or (less commonly) 'by the life of my head,' is the wa hayat Allah, 'by the life of God,' or 'as the Lord liveth'....." (Collected Works of Hugh Nibley, Vol. 5, Part 1, p 103-104)

Nephi was true to his word in making God his partner. He demonstrated this over and over again as he showed his dependence on Him: "..... no one on the trip was asked to do more than Nephi - he obtained the plates, made a bow, foraged for food, scrambled to mountaintops to pray, made plates and built a ship. Yet he intimately came to know that all he could do was not enough, for 'it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do' (2 Nephi 25:23). In the wilderness, when the righteous come face to face with their limitations, they see that God is there to take up the slack."  (Scot and Maurine Proctor, BOM Lesson 5 "Hearken to the Truth and Give Heed Unto It", Meridian Magazine, January 19, 2016). Part of being dependent on God means to have trust in Him and Nephi did just that. He was not spared or excused from any difficulties of the journey that were suffered by his brothers. On the contrary, he had more of them. What Nephi did learn through these difficulties was the Lord's power of deliverance (1 Nephi 1:20, 17:3, 18:16, 18:11). The examples throughout his life are endless and because of them he was able to exclaim: "O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever" (2 Nephi 4:34).

In his father's dream of the tree of life, Nephi partook of the fruit which symbolises the love of God. When Nephi enquired of the Lord the meaning of the tree of life an angel appeared to tutor him. He asked him if he knew what the tree represented. Nephi answered that it was 'the love of God which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men' (1 Nephi 11:22). Immediately following his answer Nephi saw a vision of the Son of God and his ministry among mortal men. From this we can conclude that God's greatest love for us is manifested through His Son Jesus Christ. Nephi understood this and was therefore able to say: "...the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love" (2 Nephi 1:15). To me there is a deeper meaning in this. Because of his willingness to follow Christ and his acceptance of the Atonement I believe that Nephi was endowed with the Saviour's ability to be obedient. This is true for all of us. How do we know this? Because Isaiah said so: "For he giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength" (Isaiah 40:29). With God as his partner Nephi could not fail in anything for "if God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).

Because of Nephi's obedience he kept company with angels and saw the Saviour (1 Nephi 2:16, 2 Nephi 11:2) in fulfillment of His promise to the ends of the earth: "...If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him" (John 14:23). Nephi taught his people that the Saviour, needing no baptism, fulfilled all righteousness by being baptised to witness to the Father 'that he would be obedient unto him....' (2 Nephi 31:6,7). Elder Bruce R. McConkie once said that "righteousness is not simply the absence of evil or impropriety; it is the active seeking of the mind and will of the Father and compliance to that will". To the Saviour, doing the Father's will was everything. Luke tells us that as Jesus grew to manhood He 'increased in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and man' (Luke 2:52). Jesus found favour with God because of His obedience. Nephi knew the Saviour through close association and no doubt his life's quest was to follow in His footsteps. The more he followed, the more empowered he became to be like the Master himself. May we be like Nephi who at the end of his record, summed up the integrity of his character in three most profound words found in scripture:

'I must obey' 

 (2 Nephi 33:15).