THE SCHOOLMASTER

 

Day 6 of Creation by Nathan Greene

“We will acknowledge someday, before God and all his children, that life on this earth, that which we longed for as premortal spirits desiring mortality, was the perfect school for our development. Though the curriculum was exacting, the tests were more than adequately supervised by the schoolmaster. Though the homework was extensive, again our teacher was our constant support.” (Jerry A. Wilson, The Great Plan of Happiness – Insights From the Lectures on Faith, p 75)

Looking back on Job’s life and considering the perfection of his character, it is obvious that the test of his life had to equal the stature of the man otherwise it would not have qualified as a test. I don’t know how long Job’s test of faith lasted. The Bible does not tell us the exact length though most biblical scholars and estimates suggest it lasted anywhere from several months to under a year, composed of these timeline clues:

-          Initial Losses: Job’s sudden loss of children and livestock happened rapidly, unfolding over a single catastrophic day (Job 1:13-19)

-          The Silent Mourning: Job’s three friends sat with him in silence for seven days and seven nights after seeing his physical affliction (Job 2:13)

-          Months of Suffering: Job laments in Job 7:3 that he has been allotted ‘months of futility’ and wearisome nights, suggesting his physical misery lasted a prolonged period.

-          The Discourses: Time passed during the lengthy back-and-forth dialogue between Job and his friends, followed by Elihu’s speeches and God speaking from the whirlwind (Job 38-41).

I have looked back to the greatest test of my faith and have been amazed to discover how perfectly fitted it was to me even though I would never want to repeat anything like that. This test of faith challenged my best attribute and my very essence of being and who I am. I have only just now discovered how intricate the schoolmaster has been with me. The attribute that was tested also happens to be my biggest strength that has kept me active in the Church and ensured my obedience to the Gospel.

The test that I passed lasted much longer than Job’s. It lasted for 11 years and in fact added another 30 years of ensued issues and fears that needed to be resolved. This has been my extensive homework that has made my life difficult but has in the process developed the strength of character I will carry with me into eternity.

The teacher has indeed been my constant support and has because of my endurance granted me the wish of my heart….to keep me in His sight.

 

I failed to understand

Why such deep trials in my life,

I expected much better in my arrogant pride.

How merciful You were Father

To help me see the purpose of the tide;

That through my bruised and aching heart

You kept me by Your loving side.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

THE MIGHTY JOB 3

 

Do You Trust Me by Yongsung Kim

I have written nine blogs about Job over the years but this year as I re-visited his story, I felt that I had missed the crux of his experience. It pierced my heart because it related to me in a personal way.

To recap, Job went from fabulous wealth, exquisite righteousness and being a pinnacle of society to living in rags on the outskirts of the city, in constant pain but remaining devoted to God.

Refusing to curse God and die, Job lost the support of his wife and through the merciless scorn of Job’s self-proclaimed integrity, his friends offered no support. Through it all, Job stood firm defending God. The more they opposed his strength, the more Job praised God insisting ‘with Him is wisdom and strength’ (Job 12:10-24). And in his sorrow, he exclaimed: “My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God” (Job 16:20).

It’s the tears that get me because in the midst of his repeated pleading to God, the heavens remained silent:

“…..as we know, silence had become part of the test. But what a problem this posed for Job. Deep, depressing darkness cowed him by its awful blackness and terrified him by its pervasiveness. Listen to his anguished plea with the Lord for soul-relief, relief that included an answer to his persistent but continually unanswered question: Why? Why? Why? Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and holdest me for thine enemy? (Job 13:20-24)…..He hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths (19:6-8) (Keith H. Meservy, Job, Yet Will I Trust In Him, pp 139-53)

Job’s greatest pain was not losing his children, his health or his wealth but the betrayal he felt as God turned away from his suffering.

In Lecture 3 of Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith said that there are three things necessary 'in order that any rational or intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation': 1. The idea that God actually exists; 2.  A correct idea of his character, perfections and attributes; 3.  An actual knowledge that the course of life he is pursuing is according to His will.

The Book of Job proves this teaching to be true. To exercise true faith and endure in faithfulness one must be convinced that God exists, have knowledge of His character to foster hope for deliverance and salvation and be assured that his life is acceptable to Him. All three necessary attributes listed above are reflected in Job's life.

When he proclaimed "I know that my Redeemer liveth" (19:25), he was basically bearing testimony of His existence. When he said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (13:15) is a clear indication that he knew of God’s merciful nature, His power and His strength (26:6-14).  Job also knew that the life he was living was according to God's will and this he proved by recounting his good deeds ((29:12-17) and by asserting his righteousness (27:2-6).

What hurt Job the most was God’s silence. He had lived a perfect life, he believed in God, he knew him and yet God was silent. He was a good person and he had done all.  How many times do we come across scriptures that say God is merciful, and He will answer our every prayer and yet at the most crucial time of our lives, we feel abandoned by Him and experience the silence?

How abandoned and rejected Job must have felt. The disdain of his friends was bad enough as was the lack of support from his wife but to be shunned by God was the end of the line. He had nowhere else to go for relief and understanding.  The only place he could go from there was to wish for death (Job 3:3; 10:1). Job was not just alone, he was utterly alone. Many of us understand this place. Yet still in the midst of his longing for the end, Job remained steadfast and in the end he heard the voice of Jehovah ‘out of the whirlwind’ which revived his soul and confirmed the greatness of God who watched over him still (see Job 38).

I remember my tears to God some years ago about facing my trials alone when He answered me: “was it you or I who suffered at Calvary?” I understood back then the lonely road He had travelled in mortality all the way to the cross, abandoned by His friends who ran from Him and betrayed Him and His countrymen who rejected Him. And then the Father’s withdrawal and silence. How utterly, utterly alone the Saviour must have felt in His most crucial moment at Calvary. Those who would be Christ’s have to know ‘the fellowship of His sufferings’ (see Philippians 3:8-10).

What Job did not foresee in the midst of his suffering was that his life would take a turn for the better, and he would be recompensed for not turning his back on one greater than him. His trust in God’s mercy  did come as 'the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning' (Job 42:12). Job lived another 140 years in prosperity and wellness after the trial of his faith. Would he have ever imagined in the mire of his pain such a glorious ending to his life if he had cursed God and died???

ODE TO JOB

You sank so deep

Into the mire of your pain;

Nobody followed you

Nobody sang praises to your name.

 

You longed for the comfort

That nobody could give

But He who gave you life

In whom you believed still.

 

He stood and He waited until

In your hour of agony

You gloried in His name

And became my beacon of hope

that I can do the same.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

THE MIGHTY JOB 2

 

“It is not the function of religion to answer all questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give courage (through faith) to go on in the face of questions a man never finds the answers to in his present status.” (Elder Harold B. Lee, Church News, as quoted by Keith H. Meservy, “Job: Yet Will I Trust In Him”, pp 139-53)

Job’s life is the prime example of the reality that God allows bad things to happen to good people. A lot of people ask why and finding no understanding, come to reject God and his principle of faith.

I know this place. Since I joined the Church in my youth I naively believed that if I was obedient to the commandments that I will be happy and all will be well in my life. I didn’t take into consideration so many variables: the nature of this fallen world, the purpose of mortality, and the necessity for this testing ground. I remember some years ago I was complaining to God about my trials at hand when I heard a voice say to me: “was it you or I who suffered at Calvary?”

Perhaps the better question would be: If Christ, the only sinless and perfect man had to be subjected to this world of suffering, then why not us? Besides, the excruciating Atonement He went through, He experienced tragedy and sorrow throughout His life: members of His family did not accept Him as the Messiah at first (John 7:5); people in His hometown sought to kill Him (Luke 4:16-30); His countrymen rejected His messianic calling (John 1:11); one friend betrayed Him, another denied knowing Him (Luke 22:48, 54-62); all His disciples forsook Him and fled (Matt 25:56); His enemies demanded His crucifixion (Matt 27:22-23). Is this not a life of difficulty?

It was believed anciently that suffering only comes upon the wicked and that it is God given as punishment. When Jesus healed a man blind from birth, His disciples asked Him: “Master, who did sin, this man or his parents that he was born blind?”  Jesus answered that neither sinned and that the purpose of the man’s blindness was for the ‘works of God to be manifest in him’ (John 9:2,3). So with all of us, there is obviously a purpose for whatever we are afflicted with that is not of our doing.

I rather think that Job had to learn this lesson. His friends accused him of being sinful in some way to have ended up in such extreme suffering. Job defended his integrity (Job 27:6), knowing full well he did not sin but he must have wondered why he was not spared. This made him question if he did really commit some sin so he begged the Lord to reveal it to him so he could repent (Job 13:23). While Job did not understand why God permitted his affliction, he would not judge Him nor lose his faith in Him and could therefore say “let come on me what will” (Job 13:13).

Besides the test of his faithfulness and trust in God, Job’s experience offers us further understanding as to why he, a righteous man, had to suffer. Firstly, all those who desire to come unto Christ have to experience a portion of his suffering to properly know Him. Job proved this to be true.....he only knew OF God prior to his suffering but at the end he came to KNOW God, as he said: "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee" (Job 42:5). To become like Christ and in the end receive of His glory, it is needful for us to become partners with Him, in some small measure, in His sufferings and walk the path He walked. Paul called this 'the fellowship of his sufferings' (Philippians 3:8-10).

Secondly, the fiery darts that we suffer in mortality are designed to fit us for exaltation. God would have us become like Him. For this reason He will allow us to suffer in the refiner's fire that we might in the end become purified with His image in our countenance (Job 23:10; Malachi 3:2,3). This is illustrated well in the following story:  

"Some time ago, a few women met in a certain city to study the scriptures. While reading the 3rd Chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the 3rd Verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver". One woman proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without telling the object of her errand begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver.

“After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "But sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?". "Oh yes, Madam", replied the silversmith, "I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured". The woman at once saw the beauty, and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver". God sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure. Before she left, the woman asked one final question, "When do you know the process is complete?" "Why, that is quite simple", replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished".

Your watchful eye was over all my trials

So carefully crafted

With love and tender care,

The crucible almost too hard to bear;

Yet did I worship Thee

Praising Thy name forever.

 

You stood as sentinel to my yielding heart

Knowing my trust would stand the test of time;

You crushed the enemy of my soul in the final hour,

Your glory, Your might, Your unfathomable power.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Job by Ilya Repin 1869)

THE MIGHTY JOB 1

 

Imagine God called you ‘perfect and upright’. What kind of a life would you have led to earn such accolades?  This is what the Lord called Job and what he did to deserve it (Job 1:1):

-          As supreme magistrate he ‘chose out people’s way’, adjusted their differences, and ‘sat chief’, presiding in all their civil assemblies.

-          As captain general he dwelt ‘as a king in the midst of his troops’, preserving order and discipline, and seeing that his fellow soldiers were provided with requisites for their warfare, and the necessaries of life.

-          As a man he did not think himself superior to the meanest offices in domestic life, to relieve or support his fellow creatures, he went about ‘comforting the mourners’ visiting the sick and afflicted and ministering to their wants and seeing that the ‘wounded’ were properly attended.

-          Old Testament Student Manual Book 2, p 30

In a more detailed scriptural account, this was the life of Job:

He was upright (1:1)

He feared God (1:1)

He avoided evil (1:1)

He instructed many (4:3)

He strengthened weak hands (4:3)

He supported those who were falling (4:4)

He strengthened the feeble knees (4:4)

He walked in the Lord's ways (23:10)

He did not turn away from the commandments (23:11)

He loved the Lord's words more than food (23:12)

He delivered the poor (29:12)

He cared for the orphans (29:12)

He helped those whom no one else would help (29:12)

He gave the widow cause to sing with joy (29:13)

He was eyes to the blind (29:15)

He was feet to the lame (29:15)

He was father to the poor (29:16)

He searched for people in need of his assistance (29:16)

He never found joy in the suffering of his enemies (31:29)

He never wished evil on his enemies (31:30)

He opened his home to strangers (31:32)

He did not try to hide his sins (31:33)

He would not follow a multitude to do evil (31:34)

He refused to be silent because of the disapproval of others (31:34)

So Job was righteous, did good continually, was incredibly respected in the community and he was fabulously wealthy. You could say, his life was perfect. Hence the whole argument that Satan presented. When the Lord held Job up as an example of perfection, Satan challenged with something to this effect: "Of course he is good when you are blessing him left, right and center. It's easy to be good when you have a perfect life, but take all that away and see how much he is going to love you and believe in you."

So Job went from the pinnacle of society to living in rags on the outskirts of the city, in constant pain, not understanding what has happened to him. Basically he went from the picture of perfection to this:

 

"From the symptoms, some have said that it appears that he had elephantiasis. Sore boils, one of the symptoms of this disease, had attacked Job's body, forming large pustules which itched so greatly that a piece of pottery was used to scrape them. Job's face was so disfigured that his friends could not recognise him. Worms or maggots were bred in the sores (7:5). His breath became so foul and his body emitted such an odor, that even his friends abhorred him (19:17ff), and he sought refuge outside the city on the refuse heap where outcasts and lepers lived.

 

“Pain was his constant companion (30:17,30) as were also terrifying nightmares (7:14). Whereas, formerly old, young, princes and nobles alike honored Job, he now felt abused by those whom society itself rejects; who live on the outskirts of town, among the bushes, along the ditchbanks or in caves" (Keith H. Meservy, "Job: 'Yet Will I Trust In Him'", Sixth Annual Sidney B. Sperry Symposium, BYU, January 1978)

 

The lessons we can learn from this man’s experience are extensive. Over the years I have written 9 blogs about his life. This year I am looking at him from the vantage of wisdom that often comes with experience and age…..not that I am anywhere near the calibre of Job but now I understand something about suffering....

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Job - Archimedes by Italian Baroque Artist Luca Giordano)

THE POWER OF TRIBULATION

 

Thy Will Be Done by Jay Bryant Ward

It was revealed to me a while ago that I was strong and fearless in my pre-mortal life but I suspect that I was so self-assured that I was bordering on being cocky.  I think I honestly thought I was going to ace it here on earth.

Being an idealist, I was attracted to the Church in my youth because it felt like I had found the principle that was going to give me power to become who I wanted to be and that principle was obedience. I thought through obedience to the Gospel laws I was to become this giant of endurance and strength in the face of evil, temptation and tribulation. Obedience became everything to me. I did well enduring trials for many years so then my goal morphed into something else – dying with amazing achievements under my belt and going home in triumph. I was going to return home with honour.

What I didn’t realise is that honour lies in un-glamorous attributes such as endurance, repentance, humility and compassion amongst others. Honour lies in what you become and not in what you have achieved.  Never did I expect that an invisible monster called pain would come to live on my back with its claws in my flesh and would have so much power over me. This monster has taken me on a roller coaster of struggling emotions and has robbed me of motivation to achieve anything on more days than I care to admit.

I have always admired Job because he was a ‘strong person’ in the midst of his tribulation but now that I understand that monster that was on his back too, what I think he stands for the most is the proof of the reward of his endurance. More of that as we study the book of Job.

“Enduring ‘well’ means passing the breaking point without breaking, having cause to be bitter – as men measure cause – without being bitter. Enduring ‘well’ means the disciple in the very trough of his difficulties avoids, as Job wisely did, having ‘charged God foolishly’.”  (Neal A. Maxwell, Meek and Lowly, p 115)

We are told that we are here to walk by faith but I would say that the higher path of faith is trust.  It is easy to believe in God but it is not easy to trust Him. For instance, King Mosiah of the Book of Mormon tells us that unless we submit to ‘all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon us’, even as a child submits to his father, we can never overcome the natural man (Mosiah 3:19). This is a hard doctrine that asks of us an exorbitant amount of trust in the process that will refine us and make us rise above the mortal self to eternal glory. Job understood this when he said regarding his suffering: “when he hath tried me I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10). This is trust, when you can accept your extreme suffering believing it will be for your ultimate good.

When we can trust in a God, we cannot see, and His plan for us, which we cannot remember ever agreeing to, that is ultimate trust. I am a firm believer of freedom of choice that existed even before this life but I didn’t know our freedom to choose determined the course of our earthly lives to such an extent as it does. This was confirmed to me just recently when I asked God if my illness was in my life’s plan and received an answer I did not expect:  “Yes. You chose it over mental illness. You wanted to keep your brain so you could understand the doctrines of the kingdom and teach it to others and so you could bear witness of Christ.”

This revelation made amazing sense of my life. The next day I reflected on it and realized the exact nature of that choice I made so long ago.  I remembered my physical illness runs in my family as does dementia. I think I was told when my plan was devised that these two illnesses will be in the genetic legacy of my family and I was given the choice as to which one I would prefer to suffer. I chose the monster and I know my choice went beyond my desire to keep my mind.

Trust was the major component of our willingness to come to a world of suffering. Our trust in the saving grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ would have been supreme before we came. No sane person would accept a painful plan with the risk of being lost, without a sure way of eventual escape. It would be like entering a tunnel knowing there is no exit at the end. We knew that the Saviour could do it and would do it. Trust is also double sided. The Father’s ability to send us to temporary affliction shows His utmost trust in His Beloved Son and the process of the Atonement, knowing full well that because of it we would survive.

When I entered my stage of illness I became very introspective of my life. Somehow I felt I was to blame for the hard life I was given but a realization came to me that I followed my heart in all my major decisions and steps I took and I realized I was being guided and I responded to that guidance with trust. Knowing that freed me from self-accusation. I am learning now to accept submission in this the hardest leg of my journey…..and I’m hearing clearly the agony of those famous words coming from Gethsemane: “nevertheless not my will but thine be done” (Luke 22:42)

I viewed my life as hopeless pieces

And shame consumed my fragile heart.

I questioned every move and every choice;

I berated; I gave no value to any part.

Not until my trust consumed me

And my will to heavens flew

Did solace nestle in my soul

And such freedom as I never knew.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

GLORIOUS GRACE

 

Some of my regular readers will know that I have been in acute pain for almost two years. The lessons I have learnt in that time have come deep and fast. For that alone my suffering has been worth it.

The doctors I consulted outlined the medical path which would end in surgery. I didn’t want to get to that point and over the counter pain medication was not doing much. Being heavily invested in scriptures, and having been impressed with healings in Jesus’ day, I decided that I would also be healed.

Even though I have not seen any miraculous healings in the Church, I reasoned we have the priesthood and there are many scriptures that speak of healing in our dispensation (D&C 35:8,9; 42:48-51). I became perplexed that we, the Church members rely more on the medical profession than we do on the priesthood and concluded that most of us lacked faith to be healed and I was going to be different. I fasted for three days and asked my ministering brother to heal me. The blessing came but without a healing. I had five subsequent priesthood blessings over time and no healing. I concluded that none of the brethren had the courage to say: “rise up and walk” (Acts 3:6).

From there I decided to appeal to God to heal me himself. I was certain that we had the right to be healed just like people of the past and one day I would wake up without pain. Months went by and no healing and I was getting worse but I kept persisting thinking all I needed was the faith of the Brother of Jared…..I was sure I did not need to go down the medical path.

When I started questioning God and His mercy for me then a certain scripture came to me with incredible force: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5). I knew straight away that I had mis-understood. With that realisation came the proper understanding in two parts.

The first was that the miracles of the past had a specific purpose for that time and that today we cannot be ‘a Church of miracles’ as some evangelical ministries claim today. If we were, people would flock to the Church exclusively for this purpose and not for the eternal truths and salvation the Church represents. Even in His day, Jesus admonished some who were healed to ‘tell no man’ (Matthew 8:4; 9:30) and rebuked some for coming to Him for this purpose alone.

The second was about grace which came to me in the form of another scripture: “it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” (2 Nephi 25:23). I understood in that moment that I had not done all that I “could do” by seeking all the available help and understanding of my condition. I didn’t want to put in any of the work needed on my part. I wanted the magic wand.

The second part was the most important lesson of all. All that I was taught was not really about miracles or healing. God merely used this stage of my life to teach me about grace for one reason….He wanted me to remember on my darkest days when mortal exhaustion of pain sets in and I am tempted to distrust my power of endurance, that grace will only secure my salvation in the end ‘after all I can do’…….this was about enduring to the end….no matter what….at all cost.

I still believe in miracles because I believe in the God of miracles who is the same yesterday, today and forever and ‘ceaseth not to be God’….(Mormon 9:8-10,19)

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Reflections of Grace by Ivan Guaderrama)

THE WAITING ROOM

 

“God can provide miracles instantaneously, but sooner or later we learn that the times and seasons of our mortal journey are His and His alone to direct. He administers that calendar to every one of us individually. For every infirm man healed instantly, as he waits to enter the Pool of Bethesda, someone else will spend 40 years in the desert waiting to enter the promised land.

“For every Nephi and Lehi divinely protected by an encircling flame of fire for their faith, we have an Abinadi burned at a stake of flaming fire for his. And we remember that the same Elijah who in an instant called down fire from heaven to bear witness against the priests of Baal is the same Elijah who endured a period when there was no rain for years…one’s life cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free. It simply will not work…..

“Christianity is comforting, but it is often not comfortable. The path to holiness and happiness here and hereafter is a long and sometimes rocky one. It takes time and tenacity to walk it…..

“The point is that faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed in our behalf. That can be difficult in our modern world when many have come to believe that the highest good in life is to avoid all suffering, that no one should ever anguish over anything. But that belief will never lead us to “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”

-          Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Waiting On the Lord” GC October 2020

 

You tell me I must

stay and conquer

Like You conquered

Your turbulent sea;

I understand,

But oh how I long to see

The shores of eternity.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Deep Calls to Deep by Aeron Brown)

STAY FOREVER

 

“The Lord Jesus Christ extends to each of us the invitation to abide in Him. But how do we actually learn and come to abide in Him?

“The word abide denotes remaining fixed or stable and enduring without yielding. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland explained that “abiding as an action means ‘to stay’ – but to stay forever. That is the call of the gospel message to…..everyone…in the world. Come, but come to remain. Come with conviction and endurance. Come permanently, for your sake and the sake of all the generations who must follow you.”

“Thus, we abide in Christ as we are firm and steadfast in our devotion to the Redeemer and His holy purposes, in times both good and bad.”

-          Elder David A. Bednar, “Abide in Me and I in You; Therefore Walk With Me” Liahona May 2023

 

I know You are watching me

From the shadow of Your love,

Hoping I will remember You

And our celestial home above.

 

I see You beckoning

For me to rise majestic and tall

But my path is unsteady beneath me

And I seek a soft place to fall.

 

Angels are around me,

They whisper and they mourn

Spreading their wings to catch me

Wanting to take me home.

 

I want to go with them

I am tired and all alone

I yearn to feel the comfort

Of that everlasting home.

 

Yet I don’t know if I am ready,

If I have given my very all,

So I can join You in Your shadow,

The safest place to fall.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: In the Shadow of Your Wings by Daniel Gerhartz)

BEING STILL

 

“Some of us have been tried and have been tested until our very heart strings would seem to break. I have heard of persons dying with a broken heart, and I thought that was just a sort of a poetic expression, but I learned that it could be a very real experience.

“Don’t be afraid of the testing and trials of life. Sometimes when you are going through the most severe tests, you will be nearer to God than you have any idea, for like the experience of the Master himself…….’angels came and ministered unto Him’  (Matthew 4:11)”  (President Harold B. Lee, In CR, Munich Germany Area Conference 1973, p 114)

During the most intense persecution of the early saints in Missouri the Saviour gave them the most powerful advice: “Be still and know that I am God” (D&C101:16). In other words, you can do nothing, just trust that I have it in hand.

Being still means you are not being shaken or distressed by anything around you. Being still means being at peace, unperturbed by the world. Some of our trials, however, are very much like an earthquake which has immense power to disturb our stillness.

We often find out how very powerless we are to handle some trials in life. When no solutions come to us and it becomes obvious that we have no capacity to solve the problem or prevent the disaster, there is only one option available: to be still and allow God to take over.

In the advice given by the Saviour, He tells us that stillness can be possible by knowing Him, that He is God with all power, and because of it we are in His hands (v 16). A God who creates worlds without number has the power to steady us in the midst of our trials that threaten us, therefore allow God to take over.

One of the Saviour’s names is The Rock of Heaven (Moses 7:53). Helaman referred to this Rock by teaching his sons that if they would build their foundation upon ‘the rock of our Redeemer’, they could not fall (Helaman 5:12). A foundation in Christ is built by faith, trust and obedience (see Elder Bednar’s instructive explanation of foundation in his conference talk “Be Still, and Know That I am God of April 2024).

My greatest strategy for acquiring stillness when I need it is ‘remembrance’. Helaman began his advice with ‘remember, remember’…..remembering what the Saviour has done for me in my life, the revelations I have had, the understanding I have of Him, all my prayers that have been answered, all my spiritual moments with Him…. all goes towards my trust in His control over my life and the path I am on. It wasn’t always like this, but it is now that I know Him….and over and over again He brings me back to stillness and endurance.

My heart overflows with gratitude

For my darkest nights

Because they bring You to me

Flowing like a river with its strongest might.

I bask in Your presence,

I surrender my soul,

I am grounded in Your strength

I am strong enough to carry on.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: Be Still My Soul by Mark Missman)

LOVING MORTALITY

 

There is a scene in a movie called “The City of Angels” where a deceased little girl is escorted out of the hospital by an angel who asks her: “What did you like best?” The little girl, in her innocence, replied: “Pajamas”.

I have often wondered what my answer would be if I was asked this question by an angel at the pearly gates. I used to feel guilty for a long time that I couldn’t say I love life but I have learnt over the years to be grateful for it, as hard as it is, for what it is making of me and where it is taking me.

Sometimes we get caught up in the pressure put on us to cultivate a positive attitude. Some of us consider  being negative in any way a downfall. Whereas, I believe there is a place for being positive, I equally believe it is dangerous to systematically deny negative things about life believing if we do so we will be happy.

I knew someone who considered positive attitude a virtue and who boasted that life was always beautiful and that he never let anything get him down. What he in actuality succeeded at the most was denying a full spectrum of human emotions, invalidating truth and reality and exerting a projection of superiority over others.

When Nephi said, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25) he had more than this life in mind. Adam and Eve rejoiced in the joy of their redemption and eternal life which will follow (Moses 5:11). If anybody found this mortal life a burden it would have to be Adam and Eve. Living out their mortal lives remembering what it was like to be in God’s presence would have been excruciating, therefore, their joy was rightfully in being redeemed from The Fall.

I cannot imagine the Saviour saying that He enjoyed His mortality. Paul tells us that ‘He endured the cross despising the shame of it for the joy that was set before Him’ (Hebrews 12:2). In reality, He endured His mortality, and gruesome death, looking forward to eternity.

And I think this is the point. If we were too comfortable here, if we had all the happiness we wanted, if our lives were smooth and easy, none of us would want to leave here. We would not yearn for eternal life with God where there is no trial, no pain, no misery.

Having said all that, I will now say this. It’s not about the quality of life you were given or how happy or unhappy it made you. It’s what you have become because of it that counts. This is what I know. Every righteous and good desire I have had in my life was met by God. He gave me all the trials and difficulties I needed to become who I wanted to be.

Nowdays I am ok with not loving life. It’s been hard but worth it. When I cross the bar and stand with God  face to face and He asks me what I liked best, I will say: ME. This is what I came for and what I will take back. I know deep down, I will kneel before Him and my heart will overflow with gratitude for my mortality. I hope that’s what will be written about me in the Book of Life.

 

Your teaching moments

 feed me like a bird in flight

Searching for a morsel

That gladdens its hungry heart.

These gifts are laid at my feet

And I, I come to You Father

Clutching these riches

That are mine to keep.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Book of Life by Chris Brazelton)

WHEN THE ANGELS COME

 

There was a time in Joseph’s life when happiness outweighed the sorrows. Those were the Kirtland years. Joseph wrote that the saints 'patronised all the institutions of heaven' as they participated in weddings and such like joyful festivities (Donna Hill, "Joseph Smith, The First Mormon", p 194). The apex of their content was the dedication of the Kirtland Temple in March of 1836. It was the time when the angels came.

“A noise was heard like the sound of a rushing mighty wind, which filled the Temple, and all the congregation simultaneously arose, being moved upon by an invisible power; many began to speak in tongues and prophesy….and the Temple was filled with angels….The people of the neighbourhood came running together (hearing an unusual sound within, and seeing a bright light like a pillar of fire resting upon the Temple) and were astonished at what was taking place.

“The Saviour made his appearance to some, while angels ministered to others, and it was a Pentacost and an endowment indeed, long to be remembered, for the sound shall go forth from this place into all the world, and occurrences of this day shall be handed down upon the pages of sacred history, to all generations.” (“History of the Church”, 2:427-33)

Less than ten years later, the Church was under a cloud of darkness, dissension and apostasy with the dark spirit of the martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum hovering over Nauvoo while the saints were frantically attempting to finish the building of the Nauvoo temple. At the same time they were preparing their wagons for their trek into the westward unknown. They were poverty stricken, sick and desperate for the exodus. Despite the conditions of that period of darkness, the saints built a beautiful white sandstone edifice, towering over the countryside and visible for miles up and down the Mississippi.

“Part of the Nauvoo Temple was dedicated in October 1845, even before it was finished; and in December of that year, Brigham Young began to administer the temple ordinances day and night. Within a mere two months, the first company of wagons started across the frozen Mississippi, never to return.

"Within three years, the temple was burned by an arsonist, and two years later a tornado demolished what was left of it.” (Bruce C. Hafen, “The Believing Heart”, p 110-1). No angels came to the Nauvoo temple.

When the Saviour faced the moment of His crucible in the Garden of Gethsemane, an angel came to strengthen Him (Luke 22:43). And when He hung on the cross during the last three hours of that agonizing ordeal, all the pains and suffering of Gethsemane returned (see Bruce R. McConkie, “A New Witness for the Articles of Faith”, p 109). And no angel came.

Sometimes the angels will not come and you will have to go it alone. The heavens will be silent even though God is still watching and hoping this moment will be the making of you.

I am still unraveling the mystery of endurance….

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Artist Unknown)

TO BE WILLING

 

Section 88 of the Doctrine and Covenants speaks of us being quickened by the glory of the kingdom we will inherit after this life and that the sons of perdition will be ‘quickened’ but not to any glory. Verse 32 says they will ‘enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received’. How could you choose eternal darkness and reject a kingdom of glory? Did they understand this in pre-mortal existence when they made this choice?  

I have also reflected on those of us who will inherit lesser kingdoms and will not enjoy eternally the presence of the Father in Celestial Kingdom. Some of us here will trade our inheritance for a mass of pottage because they will reject the refining fire of this life. I get it. It’s a hard thing to endure to the end and in the process accept whatever ‘the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us’ (Mosiah 3:19).

Often times we wonder how a loving God could ‘inflict’ anything upon us. I have marvelled at that many times. There are just some things I find difficult to digest emotionally. I am just grateful that the Father is a master of restraint and that He has not rescued me from the important lessons I have had to learn and trials I have been able to prove myself by. Without those I would be not fit to inherit the kingdom of glory that would afford me the privilege of living in His presence again. Consider what it would be like to be cast out from His presence forever:

“To be cast from the presence of the Holy One is estrangement of the worst kind. It is to take from us that which means most – our sense of belonging to the divine family. It is to strip us of security and self-worth in one fatal blow. It is like tearing the suckling babe from her mother’s bosom, sending the wayward child to his room, or sentencing the incorrigible to solitary confinement. It is akin to restricting our communication with a loved one to the telephone; the lines can be clear, the conversation frequent, but the happiness that comes from being in another’s physical presence is missing.” (Tad. R. Callister, “The Infinite Atonement”, p 41)

When I studied The Fall one year, I came to understood the inexpressible horror of being endlessly lost and I wept as the comprehension of the Atonement flooded my heart feeling the witness of the Spirit in the very marrow of my bones. I think this is something I understood in my pre-mortal existence, before this world was even made. I am certain my desire to live with God eternally was born there.

I am reminded of Alma who after he tasted his exquisite pains and looked into the jaws of hell, beheld God sitting on His throne surrounded by countless angels singing His praises and he longed to be in His presence again (Alma 36:22). Even Cain who chose to worship Satan rather than God considered his banishment from God’s presence ‘a punishment greater than he could bear’ (Genesis 4:13,14; Moses 5:38,39).

I have this written on a card and stuck on my writing table where I can see it constantly: “FEAR NOTHING AND CONQUER EVERYTHING……88”)  It reminds me that I am ‘willing to enjoy that which I might receive’……..

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art by Divine Design)