PRAYER OF MY HEART

 

He Hears Me by Greg Collins

Each day I seek Thee

Through the prayer of my heart;

I kneel at Thy feet and speak of my love.

You are so far and so high,

Yet I see Thee Father

Forever in my heart.

 

-      Cathryne Allen 

BEYOND THE VEIL

 

Arms of Faith by Yongsung Kim

To say that the scriptural accounts of those who have had visions of God’s kingdom beyond the veil are easy to comprehend would be an understatement. We have no reference to describe such experiences and we simply lack the language also. The Prophet Joseph Smith provided a perspective on this when he said:

“Could we read and comprehend all that has been written from the days of Adam, on the relation of man to God and angels in a future state, we should know very little about it. Reading the experience of others, or the revelation given to them, can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God. Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience through the ordinances of God set forth for that purpose. Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would know more than you would by reading all that ever was written on the subject.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p 324)

Even the Saviour had difficulty explaining the workings of the universe and the kingdoms that existed within it in a revelation given to Joseph Smith and contained in Doctrine and Covenants 88. You can almost feel His frustration in reading His words: “Unto what shall I liken these kingdoms, that ye may understand?” (v 46) And then His summation of the difficulty of the task: “Behold, all these are kingdoms, and any man who hath seen any or the least of these hath seen God moving in his majesty and power.”  (v 47)

Isaiah endeavoured to describe what he was permitted to see of the celestial sphere in chapter 6 of his book (vs 1-4) by using images and terms with which his readers could identify, but even he sensed how much he fell short of communicating the reality of his experience. The description of his experience is definitely beyond my understanding or appreciation because I cannot relate to it.

Others who have had visions of the celestial realms have cited Isaiah’s somewhat adequate summation of such an experience which readers of all generations and time-lines can understand:

“For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.” (Isaiah 64:4)

Paul refined Isaiah’s explanation to the Corinthians by saying: “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Perhaps the testimony of the Nephites is the greatest of the glories beyond the veil:

“And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvellous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father.” (3 Nephi 17:16-17)

The joy is an incentive to those who want to experience the reality of the glories beyond the veil…..

Some days, Father, I cannot bear,

The absence of Your touch.

I cannot wait for Your embrace

That I have missed so very much.

 

In this abyss of worldly darkness

I stumble but I fall into the arms of Him

Who lifts me higher than I can go.

 

I fly to You, Father, on my wings of faith,

I sail through stormy skies,

Seeking for Thy face.

Look Father, no hands!

Only trust in these strong arms

Of my Saviour’s loving grace.

 

-      CATHRYNE ALLEN

RETURN TO HEAVEN

Welcome Home by Danny Hahlbohm

Will I be lost in crowds of heaven

When my mortal shell at last I leave,

And will this earthly life appear unreal

When my true home is to me revealed?

 

Will I come to see Thy face

I so often sought on bended knee,

And forget all the lonely moments

I suffered with merciful help from Thee?

 

My heart will rend within my chest

When I kneel before Thy throne;

I will weep with grateful heart

For cherished truths that I have known.

 

-       CATHRYNE ALLEN

THE HOUR OF AGONY

 

Offering Up Our Brokeness by Mindi Oaten

You opened my heart

And searched for what

You there did not see;

My feeble faith and lack of trust

Stood in contrast to your will for me.

You sorrowed at the tears I shed

With every step I was led to take

To find You in my hour of agony.

How patiently You stood waiting

With open arms hoping I would come to Thee;

How patiently You hoped

I would give You all that was lacking in me.

- Cathryne Allen 

SEEKING HIS FACE

 

Arms of Faith by Yongsung Kim

Some days, Father, I cannot bear,

The absence of Your touch.

I cannot wait for Your embrace

That I have missed so very much.

 

In this abyss of worldly darkness

I stumble but I fall into the arms of Him

Who lifts me higher than I can go.

 

I fly to You, Father, on my wings of faith,

I sail through stormy skies,

Seeking for Thy face.

Look Father, no hands!

Only trust in these strong arms

Of my Saviour’s loving grace.

-      CATHRYNE ALLEN 

MY PURPOSE

 

I will step into deeper waters

And abandon the ground under my feet;

I will wade and look for You,

I will see Your footprints

Even in murky seas.

I will reach and find Your hand

To guide me where I am meant to go

I will trust, I will surrender,

Your purpose for me to know.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: God of Wonder by Yongsung Kim)

ARMS OF FAITH

 

Some days, Father, I cannot bear,

The absence of Your touch.

I cannot wait for Your embrace

That I have missed so very much.

 

In this abyss of worldly darkness

I stumble but I fall into the arms of Him

Who lifts me higher than I can go.

 

I fly to You, Father, on my wings of faith,

I sail through stormy skies,

Seeking for Thy face.

Look Father, no hands!

Only trust in these strong arms

Of my Saviour’s loving grace.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Arms of Faith by Yongsung Kim)

MOMENTS OF DESPAIR

 

When I feel forsaken

In my greatest moments of despair,

I yearn to feel You near me,

I wonder if You are there.

 

I know You are watching,

And whispering for me to know:

To know your strength to conquer,

Some moments you have to face alone.

I understand, it has to be so,

I faced mine at Calvary long ago.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: In the Wilderness by Ron DiCianni)

SEEKING GOD

 

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

“What then, are we to do, if we are thus to seek him with all our hearts? First, we must DESIRE to find God above all other desires. IF we want to seek God until we find him, even if we want eternal life – all these things can be ours, if we desire them, so long as we do not desire other things more. We show what we really want by what we DO, not just by what we SAY.

“Whatever it is we want so much, we are likely some day to have it. Not only will the righteous desires of our hearts be granted, the unrighteous desires of our hearts will also be granted. Over the long run, our most deeply held desires will govern our choices, one by one and day by day, until our lives finally add up to what we have really wanted.

“Next, we must live worthy of having the Lord’s spirit near to us. Brigham Young said: “pray for the Lord to inspire your hearts. Ask for wisdom and for knowledge, It is our duty to seek after it. Let us seek and we shall find…..” (“Journal of Discourses”, 1:20)

-          Elder Bruce C. Hafen, “The Believing Heart”  p 22-3

 

When I seek You; I find You.

When I look for You; You are there.

When I lay my petitions before You,

You fill my heart with joy.

You are my staff of life,

The sustenance of my soul,

You are my all.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Dayspring by Jay Bryant Ward)

STRANGERS AND PILGRIMS

 

I have come to see what an advantage it is to live on this planet of suffering. The worse it gets, the more uncomfortable we should feel. The more unhappiness we experience here, the more we will long for our true home.

If this life was a life of ease, plenty, and perfection, we would be quite satisfied to live in the telestial world forever and would not yearn for things of a better. We would not seek God and we would not make an effort to return to Him.

When we reach the point where we feel that we do not belong here, we are in good company. We are, like the ancients who feared and loved God, strangers and pilgrims on this earth (D&C 45:11-13; Jacob 7:26; Hebrews 11:4-13). A clear reminder to us that we should not get too comfortable here because we do not belong here.

To be cut off from the presence of God is the greatest tragedy there is. Cain considered his banishment from His presence more than he could bear (Genesis 4:13,14).

I think the Saviour knew in the beginning what it means to be cut off from Father’s presence forever. This is why He yearned to save us from this devastation, hence so much emphasis on the sheep that are ‘lost’.

How many tears will be shed on judgment day by ‘the lost’ when God’s presence is denied to them forever? Imagine how joyful will be some who enter His presence, to finally be home once again.

When the world gets you down, look up.

 

Some days You seem so near

And some days so far.

I long to see Your face,

To walk the clouds with You

With poise and godly grace.

 

I know You are there

Keeping at bay the darkness of despair

And gifting me memories of You

To fill the loneliness that I tearfully bear.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Artist Unknown)

VALIDATING GOD

 

 

Before Lehi died he said something highly profound to his children. He said: “I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love” (2 Nephi 1:15). Note that he did not say I ‘will be’, when I am judged and found worthy and will therefore be rewarded with eternal life with God. He said I ‘AM’, meaning he was already there, in His arms, with not an iota of the world between the two of them. How did Lehi end up in the Father’s arms while still in his probationary state? The answer lies in the rest of this scripture. Firstly, he says his soul was redeemed from hell. This sounds like an iron clad assurance that his sins were forgiven him.  Secondly, he says he has beheld his glory. The assurance of his forgiveness most likely came from a personal visitation from the Lord where his calling and election was made sure. This scripture says a great deal to me about Lehi and the life he lived. The lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon would be an incredible read.

There is a distinction between the Church and the Gospel. The role of the Church is to bring us to Christ and the role of Christ is to bring us to the Father, and that means not just in the eternities, but also here. In every way, we are being trained and prepared here and now to live in the Father’s presence. This is the goal. The Saviour came not only to atone for us but also to reveal the Father to us (see “The Grandeur of God” by Jeffrey R. Holland, October 2003 conference talk).

Being a good member of the Church and being in God’s arms are two different things. You can be a good member by mechanically obeying the rules but being in God’s embrace means validating Him in your life. How do we do that? By making Him our partner in all our responsibilities, overcoming our downfalls, seeking His guidance and His will, turning to Him in all things and being aligned with His Spirit in righteousness. It is making Him a reality rather than a belief.

Some time ago I had a wonderful experience whilst I was praying. I had a vision in my mind of being in Father’s arms leaning against His ample chest. It made me weep uncontrollably. At the time I thought that was a memory from my pre-existence and it might very well have been but I know that our relationship with Him here and now can be described in those terms as well. If we feel the closeness, the love, the devotion, if we feel Him in our lives because we are aligned with Him and His will, we are in His arms…..we are being more than just good members of the Church and His offspring. We are being children of God.

I yearn to feel the closeness of

Your presence

And once again feel the warmth of

Your embrace.

I come to You, Father,

Through the gift of

Your Son’s benevolent grace.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Beloved Son by Danny Hahlbohm)

IN PRAISE OF GOD

 

Here is what I admire the most about Nephi. Cast your mind on the journey to America when his brothers bound him with bands that caused terrible swelling of joints and caused Nephi unbearable pain (1 Nephi 18:12-15) . I am sure most of us would at this point wonder why God was not protecting us from our adversaries if we were obeying all of His commands. But not Nephi. He knew God had a purpose (1 Nephi 18:11) so there was only one solution to this in his mind and that was to praise God. And not just once. He records that he praised God all day long, despite the pain which would have had the power to discourage the strongest among us (1 Nephi 18:16).

Praising God in the midst of one’s pain and suffering would have to be the next level of gratitude, and the next level of acceptance, and the next level of endurance. Nephi rose to the challenge well and showed just how strong was his commitment to God and his conviction that the life he was pursuing was aligned with His will. According to Joseph Smith, this is called true faith in God (Lecture 3, Lectures on Faith). And who can better testify to this fact than Joseph Smith??? Well, there is one person….and we all know who that is. Had the Saviour not been willing to live His life in alignment with the Father’s will, all would now be lost. I do not see anywhere in the scriptures that there were more than two volunteers to bring us back….the other one does not bear thinking.

One interesting point about this alignment….it comes with an attachment called ‘opposition’. Nephi’s brothers opposed him at every turn to the point where they sought his life. Joseph endured persecution from the time Moroni visited him at age 14 until he was killed. And what of Christ? For the three years of His ministry, the Jewish Council was calling for His blood until in the end they succeeded.

The sincere followers of truth who are seeking to align themselves with God’s will in every possible way will have the jaws of hell at their heels. Like Nephi, we have bands that bind us today. They are threatening our way of life and our happiness. Not until the Millennial peace, will this life ever be without its' opposing threats to our spiritual and physical well-being. What would happen if instead of whining and constant demands we are making to God, we just praised Him during prayer? Would we come to the point where like Nephi, we could praise Him all day long? Would hopelessness not lose its' grip on us as our thoughts are continually focused on the Prince of Peace rather than the turmoil that surrounds us?

When you have nothing to say to God, praise instead. When your heart is heavy, praise. When you are doubting, praise. When you cannot see clearly, praise. When you don’t understand, praise. When you are hurting, praise. When you are waiting, praise. When your cup is full, praise. When gratitude overwhelms you, praise. When in mercy you see His hand, praise. Practice, for one day you surely will kneel at His feet and the words of praise will spill from your tongue like a holy flame. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Peace Is Coming by Jon McNaughton)

THE COMPASSIONATE CHRIST

If you feel that nobody understands the anguish of your heart, I am here to tell you that there is one person who does. I have been struggling of late with certain long held debilitating fears and for which I had sought healing through prayer. My petition was in these exact words: "Please heal all that is broken in me". Following my prayer, as is my custom, I opened my scriptures randomly to a page in Ezekiel from which stood out one marked sentence: "Thou shalt know that I am the Lord". Whilst studying and pondering 3 Nephi the following day, I had an exquisite experience where I was taken into the Saviour's presence in my mind's eye and was granted the healing I sought at His hand, which was outstretched to me in beckoning repose. The words which He spoke to me validated me as a person and validated the pain I had experienced in my life. This was the single most significant vision I have ever had because it afforded me personal understanding of the compassion of Christ. 

This year as I studied 3 Nephi, I came to truly understand Nephites' experience with Christ during the three days of His ministry among them. I know now why they bathed His feet with their tears (3 Nephi 17:10) because I was given the privilege of bathing His outstretched hand with mine. The Book of Mormon account tells us that the Saviour ministered amongst these ancient people with compassion (3 Nephi 17:6). The same is true of His ministry amongst the Jews prior to His death. The New Testament mentions Christ having compassion towards the people on many occasions (Matt 9:36, 20:34; Mark 1:41; Luke 7:13), especially at Lazarus' grave which was directed towards those who were grieving (John 11:35).  However, I imagine His compassion reached a new level post Atonement. Fresh from the cross of Calvary, trailing the memory of the Garden, where He experienced every agony known to man, the Saviour's compassion was intensified to the point of tears when He ministered among the Nephites (3 Nephi 17:21,22). 

Why is this scriptural account of Christ's compassion important for us to have and to understand? Because He who has suffered it all, understands it all. He understands the diminished self worth that comes through the sufferings of mortality. He understands our human inability to rise above certain scars that we bear with exhausting endurance. He understands the fears that we cling to and count on for protection from perceived pain. He understands it all because He has felt it all. And because He understands the scars of each heart, He knows the path of healing we individually need. Should we not seek such and bathe with our tears His outstretched hand? 

In the words of beloved Isaiah: "Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no fathoming to his understanding....He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength....Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:28-31)

- Cathryne Allen, Did Not Our Hearts Burn When He Opened To Us The Scriptures?

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