GOODLY PARENTS

 

The most famous scripture in the Book of Mormon would have to be the very first verse and the most famous words would have to be this: “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents….” (1 Nephi 1:1). This phrase has become the standard of parental excellence in the Church because it suggests to us that the greatness of Nephi was due to his parents’ parenting skills. This is, however, not entirely true.

As we read further, we come to read the entire truth….”therefore, I was taught SOMEWHAT in all the learning of my father……” (1 Nephi 1:1).  It is clear by this word that Nephi did not give his parents all the credit for who he became. The dictionary defines ‘somewhat’ as: to some extent or in some measure or degree. What Nephi is clearly saying here is that his ‘great knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God’ (v 1) was as much, if not more, a product of his own effort than that of his parents. This is evident early on in his record through the cited personal and extensive tutoring he received from an angel when he inquired about the meaning of his father’s dream of the tree of life (1 Nephi 11-14). In fact, it can be seen throughout Nephi’s entire life as he demonstrated how willingly and conscientiously he took responsibility for his own salvation.

It is human nature that we as parents beat ourselves up when we have wayward children feeling that we have somehow failed. I have been there myself. When my daughter chose a different path in life to the one that she was reared to follow, a friend said to me: “You are being trained for godhood.” And I think he was right. I am certain of it when I reflect on Heavenly Father’s respect for our free agency, and His mercy and His grace. These traits can most certainly be acquired during our role as parents and they are essential for those who would be gods. There are no more perfect parents than our heavenly parents and yet they have lost a third of their children due to the principle of free agency. Consider a lesson closer to home. Try as they may, Lehi and Sariah did not succeed in keeping all of their children on the straight and narrow. This means that, if you are a parent, no matter how many parenting courses you take, how much patience you exercise, how many tears you shed, how much love you give, you are at a risk of losing a child.

I will not elaborate on parents’ responsibility in parenting here. My intent is to make parents of wayward children know that there is hope through the mercies of the God that we love and worship; a God who honours righteous parents and holds their fragile hearts in the palm of His hands;  a God who sorrows over our wayward children as much as we do; a God who has suffered for their disobedience and destructive choices; a God who desires to save each and every one of us; a God who will not forsake those whom we love and yearn to have back in the fold; a God of mercy; a God of forgiveness; a God of love. This is the assurance: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold….Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold onto them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” (Joseph Smith, as quoted by Orson F. Whitney, “Hope for Parents of Wayward Children”, in Conference Report, April 1929, p 110.

One day when Your tears cease to fall

For the ones that go astray

And You reach for them from Your throne

Your power to display;

I will praise

I will rejoice

I will join the heavenly throng in song

For the return of the lost

For whom You suffered for so long. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Nephi And the Tree of Life by Katie Payne)