GOODLY PARENTS

 

The most famous scripture in the Book of Mormon would have to be the very first verse and the most famous words would have to be this: “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents….” (1 Nephi 1:1). This phrase has become the standard of parental excellence in the Church because it suggests to us that the greatness of Nephi was due to his parents’ parenting skills. This is, however, not entirely true.

As we read further, we come to read the entire truth….”therefore, I was taught SOMEWHAT in all the learning of my father……” (1 Nephi 1:1).  It is clear by this word that Nephi did not give his parents all the credit for who he became. The dictionary defines ‘somewhat’ as: to some extent or in some measure or degree. What Nephi is clearly saying here is that his ‘great knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God’ (v 1) was as much, if not more, a product of his own effort than that of his parents. This is evident early on in his record through the cited personal and extensive tutoring he received from an angel when he inquired about the meaning of his father’s dream of the tree of life (1 Nephi 11-14). In fact, it can be seen throughout Nephi’s entire life as he demonstrated how willingly and conscientiously he took responsibility for his own salvation.

It is human nature that we as parents beat ourselves up when we have wayward children feeling that we have somehow failed. I have been there myself. When my daughter chose a different path in life to the one that she was reared to follow, a friend said to me: “You are being trained for godhood.” And I think he was right. I am certain of it when I reflect on Heavenly Father’s respect for our free agency, and His mercy and His grace. These traits can most certainly be acquired during our role as parents and they are essential for those who would be gods. There are no more perfect parents than our heavenly parents and yet they have lost a third of their children due to the principle of free agency. Consider a lesson closer to home. Try as they may, Lehi and Sariah did not succeed in keeping all of their children on the straight and narrow. This means that, if you are a parent, no matter how many parenting courses you take, how much patience you exercise, how many tears you shed, how much love you give, you are at a risk of losing a child.

I will not elaborate on parents’ responsibility in parenting here. My intent is to make parents of wayward children know that there is hope through the mercies of the God that we love and worship; a God who honours righteous parents and holds their fragile hearts in the palm of His hands;  a God who sorrows over our wayward children as much as we do; a God who has suffered for their disobedience and destructive choices; a God who desires to save each and every one of us; a God who will not forsake those whom we love and yearn to have back in the fold; a God of mercy; a God of forgiveness; a God of love. This is the assurance: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold….Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold onto them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” (Joseph Smith, as quoted by Orson F. Whitney, “Hope for Parents of Wayward Children”, in Conference Report, April 1929, p 110.

One day when Your tears cease to fall

For the ones that go astray

And You reach for them from Your throne

Your power to display;

I will praise

I will rejoice

I will join the heavenly throng in song

For the return of the lost

For whom You suffered for so long. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Nephi And the Tree of Life by Katie Payne)

A BIRD IN A CAGE

 

Like Israel of old

I foolishly sought man's protection

And trusted in the shadow of the flesh

Until You showed me the strength

Of Your invincible arm

And how easy You can make

My journey's difficult path;

How foolish I was to trust in man's might

How foolish to seek mortal comfort

And settle for feeble sentries of the heart

In studying the history of the House of Israel, I am always amazed at man's propensity to place his trust in 'the arm of the flesh' rather than exercise faith in God. Ancient Israel was particularly prone to this futile habit. Over and over they made political alliances with heathen nations around them for their protection.....very often resorting to Egypt, the very nation they were rescued from. Even King Hezekiah in 705 B.C. who tried so desperately to turn the nation from idolatry to proper worship of Jehovah made a terrible mistake of seeking such an alliance. Because of it Assyrian king Sennacherib, the successor to Sargon, swept into the land of Judah and captured forty-six cities. This is how he described his siege of Hezekiah: "Himself I made a prisoner.....like a bird in a cage" (Pritchard, Ancient Near Eastern Texts, p. 288). This is exactly what happens when you put your trust in man...you always owe somebody something and it never quite satisfies and often you end up in a cage.

The nations of this earth have replaced God with governments. We have put our trust in the arm of the flesh....to lead us, to instruct us, to protect us. Individually, however, we can choose to place our ultimate trust in Him to whom trust truly belongs.

The Saviour, the Creator, our Sovereign and our God, puts no bird in a cage.....He who created us gave us freedom of choice, of thought, of speech. He is the protection from the storms of life and the guardian of our hearts. In this day of uncertainty, of calamities and threats of our freedom, He is the only choice we can make to keep us truly free.

- Cathryne Allen

(art by Liz Lemon Swindle, "The Creator")

MIGHTY TO ENDURE

 

"If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith. 

If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there would be no evil – all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls. Should all prayers be immediately answered according our desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, nor eternal life and godhood.” 

(President Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, p 97).

 

I have just one thing to add to this powerful message. Years ago I read an article written by a young woman in the Church whose father had died of cancer. She described his end as horrific. She said she learnt that the popular belief that ‘God would not give us anything we could not handle’ is false. She was convinced that God would do exactly that, for one purpose and one purpose only, to bring us to Christ, because this is what happened to her father. I wholeheartedly agree with this concept because I believe that everything in this life is designed for this very purpose: to bring us to the Saviour who can make us mighty to endure; deliver us from any evil; and ultimately bring us to salvation. Whatever the plan for our life, whatever the individual tutoring we have agreed to before we were born, we have this promise: “I will go before you and be your rearward; and I will be in your midst…..” (D&C 49:27).

 

The winds of tribulation scatter my hopes

Like feathers they lift to the sky

They find you there ever waiting to answer my pleas

To restore that which is lost

To renew that which is broken

To gift that which was never foreseen

To make me rise to heights unknown

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

AN UNBEATABLE PARTNERSHIP

How can we be spiritually self-reliant when  the scriptures clearly teach that we need to be reliant on God in all things?  President Lorenzo Snow has said that the gospel was purposely designed to be  difficult to live so that it would turn us to God for supernatural aid to enable us to live it, that without Him we could NOT live it.  I think it was designed to lead us to God and to make us dependent on Him. (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, pp 178, 179) 

What does it mean to be spiritually self reliant then? This is my take on it. To me it means to have your own testimony and your own relationship with God and not put your trust in the arm of the flesh when it comes to the things of the spirit and how you will live your life.  We cannot live on borrowed light, just as the Ten Virgins proved.  In the beginning when our faith is weak and we are just starting on our spiritual journey, it is essential for us to believe in the faith of others and to be nourished by their testimony but as you grow and mature in the Gospel, you have to come to stand on your own two feet and make the Atonement active in your life. Only you can do this.  By being spiritually reliant on God in all things, we also become spiritually self-reliant. It becomes a matter of your relationship with God. If you do not have this relationship with God and do not rely on him you will eventually end up relying on priesthood leaders to help you solve your problems and give you guidance on your spiritual path.  This is a grave mistake because it is putting your trust in the arm of the flesh and that arm very often fails. Priesthood leaders are overburdened these days with their responsibilities, earning a living and taking care of their families.  They are there to assist people with their process of repentance but I do not believe they should be holding our hands while we work out our salvation.  That responsibility belongs to God.  We are responsible for our own spiritual wellbeing and we have all the tools to help us: scriptures, prayer, temple, fasting. The list goes on.  If we would just do it our lives would be less complicated.  There is more depth to this.

A friend asked me recently 'how do we fully submit our will to God in the light of the fact that we are also taught to be self-reliant'?  It seems a contradiction in terms doesn't it?  Firstly, our will is the only thing that truly belongs to us that we have to give, all else we have comes from God, including the breath we breathe.  Secondly, God's perspective is always eternal and our eternal welfare is the one He is mostly concerned about. A good friend taught me this.  Very often these two facts clash in our lives.  For us to submit our will to the Father means to want for ourselves what the Father wants and not what we want.  That means changing our perspective from a temporal one to a spiritual one.  We live in a fallen world and our first instinct is to act as 'the natural man' (Mosiah 3:19)  In other words, we are very short sighted.  What is needful is for us to come to think as God thinks, to know Him, His mind and His will for His children to such an extent that our first instinct will be to make choices that would benefit us eternally, that which is good for us in the long run and not here and now. 

I stand in awe of Third Nephi whose faith on the Lord Jesus Christ was so great that angels ministered to him daily. (3 Nephi 7:18).  Imagine having angels coming to you every day.  I think his faith was so great because he became so in sync with the Lord that he did nothing that God would not do himself.  Because of this God came to have such trust in him that he promised him that 'all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shall not ask that which is contrary to my will'. (Helaman 10:5)  In other words, God knew Nephi and that he would not ask for anything inappropriate or not beneficial to his eternal salvation and the salvation of others.  When you come to the this point where you are of one mind with the Lord, you are spiritually self-reliant on a deeper level.  When you come to this point, it is extremely difficult for the adversary to shake you or entice you to put your trust in the arm of the flesh in any form.  And this is where we want to be.

Remember that Satan's way is to have us rely on ourselves and our wisdom, which is very finite and inadequate for the salvation of our souls and he would have us temporally reliant on others.  Both of these spell only one thing, bondage.  God seeks to make us free, he wants us in partnership with Him so that we will make wise choices that would lead us to optimal freedom.

THE LORD'S WAY

This week's Sunday School lesson is on spiritual and temporal self-reliance.  I am amazed at how much this principle is a part of warfare we have been engaged in since before the world began.  This is very much good vs evil, freedom vs bondage.  God wants us to be free while Satan wants us in bondage, terrified and miserable as he is.  God's way is to have us spiritually reliant on Him and temporally reliant on ourselves but Satan's way is opposite.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks expressed it this way:

"There are powerful forces at work to beguile us into self-sufficiency in spiritual things and to lure us into some degree of dependence in temporal things.  It is easy for Latter-day Saints to fall prey to those forces". (Dallin H. Oaks, The Lord's Way, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1991)

The adversary seeks to corrupt the practice of self-reliance because through it he can lead us away from God and keep us in bondage.  He would have us believe that we need to be spiritually self-reliant (thinking we can "work out our own salvation", in other words, not needing the Saviour) and heavily reliant on others in temporal things, meaning we would be putting our trust in the arm of the flesh.  He seeks to put us into bondage to the world.  This is most evident through debt.  Anyone who is knee deep in credit card debt will agree with this.  When you are in debt, you are in bondage to the world and you are not free. 

Elder L. Tom Perry of the Council of the Twelve said it this way:

"Independence and self-reliance are critical to our spiritual and temporal growth.  Whenever we get into a situation which threatens our self-reliance, we will find our freedoms threatened as well.  If we increase our dependence on anything or anyone except the Lord, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act". (As quoted in The Church News, Oct. 12, 1991)

This is the old battle field, different venue.  We are veterans of a war with Satan whose goal has been from the beginning to have us captive and in bondage.  Nephi said it well:

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man.  And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself". 2 Nephi 2:27

Tomorrow I will post about what it means to be spiritually self-reliant.