The most
famous scripture in the Book of Mormon would have to be the very first verse and
the most famous words would have to be this: “I, Nephi, having been born of
goodly parents….” (1 Nephi 1:1). This phrase has become the standard of
parental excellence in the Church because it suggests to us that the greatness
of Nephi was due to his parents’ parenting skills. This is, however, not
entirely true.
As we read
further, we come to read the entire truth….”therefore, I was taught SOMEWHAT in all the learning
of my father……” (1 Nephi 1:1). It is
clear by this word that Nephi did not give his parents all the credit for who
he became. The dictionary defines ‘somewhat’ as: to some extent or in some
measure or degree. What Nephi is clearly saying here is that his ‘great
knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God’ (v 1) was as much, if not more,
a product of his own effort than that of his parents. This is evident early on
in his record through the cited personal and extensive tutoring he received
from an angel when he inquired about the meaning of his father’s dream of the
tree of life (1 Nephi 11-14). In fact, it can be seen throughout Nephi’s entire
life as he demonstrated how willingly and conscientiously he took
responsibility for his own salvation.
It
is human nature that we as parents beat ourselves up when we have wayward
children feeling that we have somehow failed. I have been there myself. When my
daughter chose a different path in life to the one that she was reared to
follow, a friend said to me: “You are being trained for godhood.” And I think
he was right. I am certain of it when I reflect on Heavenly Father’s respect
for our free agency, and His mercy and His grace. These traits can most
certainly be acquired during our role as parents and they are essential for
those who would be gods. There are no more perfect parents than our heavenly
parents and yet they have lost a third of their children due to the principle
of free agency. Consider a lesson closer to home. Try as they may, Lehi and
Sariah did not succeed in keeping all of their children on the straight and
narrow. This means that, if you are a parent, no matter how many parenting
courses you take, how much patience you exercise, how many tears you shed, how
much love you give, you are at a risk of losing a child.
I
will not elaborate on parents’ responsibility in parenting here. My intent is
to make parents of wayward children know that there is hope through the mercies
of the God that we love and worship; a God who honours righteous parents and
holds their fragile hearts in the palm of His hands; a God who sorrows over our wayward children
as much as we do; a God who has suffered for their disobedience and destructive
choices; a God who desires to save each and every one of us; a God who will not
forsake those whom we love and yearn to have back in the fold; a God of mercy;
a God of forgiveness; a God of love. This is the assurance: “Though some of the
sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later
they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and
drawing them back to the fold….Pray for your careless and disobedient children;
hold onto them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation
of God.” (Joseph Smith, as quoted by Orson F. Whitney, “Hope for Parents of
Wayward Children”, in Conference Report, April 1929, p 110.
One day when Your tears cease to fall
For the ones that go astray
And You reach for them from Your throne
Your power to display;
I will praise
I will rejoice
I will join the heavenly throng in song
For the return of the lost
For whom You suffered for so long.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Nephi And the Tree of Life by Katie Payne)
