You opened my heart
And searched for what
You there did not see;
My feeble faith and lack of trust
Stood in contrast to your will for me.
You sorrowed at the tears I shed
With every step I was led to take
To find You in my hour of agony.
How patiently You stood waiting
With open arms hoping I would come to Thee;
How patiently You hoped
I would give You all that was lacking in me.
- Cathryne Allen
Some days,
Father, I cannot bear,
The absence of
Your touch.
I cannot wait
for Your embrace
That I have
missed so very much.
In this abyss
of worldly darkness
I stumble but
I fall into the arms of Him
Who lifts me
higher than I can go.
I fly to You,
Father, on my wings of faith,
I sail through
stormy skies,
Seeking for
Thy face.
Look Father,
no hands!
Only trust in
these strong arms
Of my
Saviour’s loving grace.
-
CATHRYNE ALLEN
I
will step into deeper waters
And
abandon the ground under my feet;
I
will wade and look for You,
I
will see Your footprints
Even
in murky seas.
I
will reach and find Your hand
To
guide me where I am meant to go
I
will trust, I will surrender,
Your
purpose for me to know.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: God of Wonder by Yongsung Kim)
Some
days, Father, I cannot bear,
The
absence of Your touch.
I
cannot wait for Your embrace
That
I have missed so very much.
In
this abyss of worldly darkness
I
stumble but I fall into the arms of Him
Who
lifts me higher than I can go.
I
fly to You, Father, on my wings of faith,
I
sail through stormy skies,
Seeking
for Thy face.
Look
Father, no hands!
Only
trust in these strong arms
Of
my Saviour’s loving grace.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Arms of Faith by Yongsung Kim)
When I feel forsaken
In my greatest moments of despair,
I yearn to feel You near me,
I wonder if You are there.
I know You are watching,
And whispering for me to know:
To know your strength to conquer,
Some moments you have to face alone.
I understand, it has to be so,
I faced mine at Calvary long ago.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: In the Wilderness by Ron DiCianni)
“And
ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
(Jeremiah 29:13)
“What
then, are we to do, if we are thus to seek him with all our hearts? First, we
must DESIRE to find God above all other desires. IF we want to seek God until
we find him, even if we want eternal life – all these things can be ours, if we
desire them, so long as we do not desire other things more. We show what we
really want by what we DO, not just by what we SAY.
“Whatever
it is we want so much, we are likely some day to have it. Not only will the
righteous desires of our hearts be granted, the unrighteous desires of our
hearts will also be granted. Over the long run, our most deeply held desires will
govern our choices, one by one and day by day, until our lives finally add up
to what we have really wanted.
“Next,
we must live worthy of having the Lord’s spirit near to us. Brigham Young said:
“pray for the Lord to inspire your hearts. Ask for wisdom and for knowledge, It
is our duty to seek after it. Let us seek and we shall find…..” (“Journal of
Discourses”, 1:20)
-
Elder
Bruce C. Hafen, “The Believing Heart” p
22-3
When
I seek You; I find You.
When
I look for You; You are there.
When
I lay my petitions before You,
You
fill my heart with joy.
You
are my staff of life,
The
sustenance of my soul,
You
are my all.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Dayspring by Jay Bryant Ward)
I
have come to see what an advantage it is to live on this planet of suffering. The
worse it gets, the more uncomfortable we should feel. The more unhappiness we
experience here, the more we will long for our true home.
If
this life was a life of ease, plenty, and perfection, we would be quite
satisfied to live in the telestial world forever and would not yearn for things
of a better. We would not seek God and we would not make an effort to return to
Him.
When
we reach the point where we feel that we do not belong here, we are in good
company. We are, like the ancients who feared and loved God, strangers and pilgrims
on this earth (D&C 45:11-13; Jacob 7:26; Hebrews 11:4-13). A clear reminder
to us that we should not get too comfortable here because we do not belong
here.
To
be cut off from the presence of God is the greatest tragedy there is. Cain
considered his banishment from His presence more than he could bear (Genesis
4:13,14).
I
think the Saviour knew in the beginning what it means to be cut off from
Father’s presence forever. This is why He yearned to save us from this
devastation, hence so much emphasis on the sheep that are ‘lost’.
How
many tears will be shed on judgment day by ‘the lost’ when God’s presence is
denied to them forever? Imagine how joyful will be some who enter His presence,
to finally be home once again.
When
the world gets you down, look up.
Some
days You seem so near
And
some days so far.
I
long to see Your face,
To
walk the clouds with You
With
poise and godly grace.
I
know You are there
Keeping
at bay the darkness of despair
And
gifting me memories of You
To
fill the loneliness that I tearfully bear.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Artist Unknown)
Before Lehi
died he said something highly profound to his children. He said: “I am
encircled about eternally in the arms of his love” (2 Nephi 1:15). Note that he
did not say I ‘will be’, when I am judged and found worthy and will therefore
be rewarded with eternal life with God. He said I ‘AM’, meaning he was already
there, in His arms, with not an iota of the world between the two of them. How
did Lehi end up in the Father’s arms while still in his probationary state? The
answer lies in the rest of this scripture. Firstly, he says his soul was
redeemed from hell. This sounds like an iron clad assurance that his sins were
forgiven him. Secondly, he says he has
beheld his glory. The assurance of his forgiveness most likely came from a
personal visitation from the Lord where his calling and election was made sure.
This scripture says a great deal to me about Lehi and the life he lived. The
lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon would be an incredible read.
There is a
distinction between the Church and the Gospel. The role of the Church is to
bring us to Christ and the role of Christ is to bring us to the Father, and
that means not just in the eternities, but also here. In every way, we are
being trained and prepared here and now to live in the Father’s presence. This
is the goal. The Saviour came not only to atone for us but also to reveal the
Father to us (see “The Grandeur of God” by Jeffrey R. Holland, October 2003
conference talk).
Being a
good member of the Church and being in God’s arms are two different things. You
can be a good member by mechanically obeying the rules but being in God’s
embrace means validating Him in your life. How do we do that? By making Him our
partner in all our responsibilities, overcoming our downfalls, seeking His
guidance and His will, turning to Him in all things and being aligned with His Spirit
in righteousness. It is making Him a reality rather than a belief.
Some time
ago I had a wonderful experience whilst I was praying. I had a vision in my
mind of being in Father’s arms leaning against His ample chest. It made me weep
uncontrollably. At the time I thought that was a memory from my pre-existence
and it might very well have been but I know that our relationship with Him here
and now can be described in those terms as well. If we feel the closeness, the
love, the devotion, if we feel Him in our lives because we are aligned with Him
and His will, we are in His arms…..we are being more than just good members of
the Church and His offspring. We are being children of God.
I yearn to feel the closeness of
Your presence
And once again feel the warmth of
Your embrace.
I come to You, Father,
Through the gift of
Your Son’s benevolent grace.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Beloved Son by Danny Hahlbohm)
Here is what I admire
the most about Nephi. Cast your mind on the journey to America when his
brothers bound him with bands that caused terrible swelling of joints and
caused Nephi unbearable pain (1 Nephi 18:12-15) . I am sure most of us would at
this point wonder why God was not protecting us from our adversaries if we were
obeying all of His commands. But not Nephi. He knew God had a purpose (1 Nephi
18:11) so there was only one solution to this in his mind and that was to
praise God. And not just once. He records that he praised God all day
long, despite the pain which would have had the power to discourage the
strongest among us (1 Nephi 18:16).
Praising God in the
midst of one’s pain and suffering would have to be the next level of gratitude,
and the next level of acceptance, and the next level of endurance. Nephi rose
to the challenge well and showed just how strong was his commitment to God and
his conviction that the life he was pursuing was aligned with His will. According
to Joseph Smith, this is called true faith in God (Lecture 3, Lectures on Faith).
And who can better testify to this fact than Joseph Smith??? Well, there is one
person….and we all know who that is. Had the Saviour not been willing to live His
life in alignment with the Father’s will, all would now be lost. I do not see
anywhere in the scriptures that there were more than two volunteers to bring us
back….the other one does not bear thinking.
One interesting point
about this alignment….it comes with an attachment called ‘opposition’. Nephi’s
brothers opposed him at every turn to the point where they sought his life.
Joseph endured persecution from the time Moroni visited him at age 14 until he
was killed. And what of Christ? For the three years of His ministry, the Jewish
Council was calling for His blood until in the end they succeeded.
The sincere followers
of truth who are seeking to align themselves with God’s will in every possible
way will have the jaws of hell at their heels. Like Nephi, we have bands that
bind us today. They are threatening our way of life and our happiness. Not
until the Millennial peace, will this life ever be without its' opposing
threats to our spiritual and physical well-being. What would happen if instead
of whining and constant demands we are making to God, we just praised Him
during prayer? Would we come to the point where like Nephi, we could praise Him
all day long? Would hopelessness not lose its' grip on us as our thoughts are
continually focused on the Prince of Peace rather than the turmoil that
surrounds us?
When you have nothing
to say to God, praise instead. When your heart is heavy, praise. When you are
doubting, praise. When you cannot see clearly, praise. When you don’t
understand, praise. When you are hurting, praise. When you are waiting, praise.
When your cup is full, praise. When gratitude overwhelms you, praise. When in
mercy you see His hand, praise. Practice, for one day you surely will kneel at
His feet and the words of praise will spill from your tongue like a holy flame.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Peace Is Coming by Jon McNaughton)
- Cathryne Allen, Did Not Our Hearts Burn When He Opened To Us The Scriptures?
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