TO SUFFER

I have a dear friend whose central attribute of character is compassion. She questions why some people have to suffer so much in this life while others don't? It positively wrecks her soul when she hears of someone's pain.  I have thought about her question long and hard and I offer here my understanding which admittedly comes from a finite and limited mortal view.

I believe fully and completely in the principle of free agency. Because of it we can never blame God for anything we experience. I believe we exercised the privilege of this agency even before we were born as spirits, while we were so called 'intelligences'  (Abraham 3:22).  It makes sense to me that back then  we chose to be born as spirits with a view to be embodied in flesh on our journey to godhood.  I believe that in the spirit world we advanced on different levels and that each of us mapped out a plan for our mortal experience which would enable us to work out our salvation. In other words, we each chose our life's difficulties. We wanted to advance ourselves and because of that there were certain qualities, characteristics and attributes we wanted to acquire and develop. Our lives were planned with  challenges that corresponded with the goals we had to give us the desired end. We also opted for difficult situations for the benefit of others who we wanted to help. I do not believe that we are here to be subjected to random and arbitrary experiences . To randomly have to suffer without any cause  would be supreme injustice. Since God is just this  theory of random suffering does not ring true to me. Hence my belief is that we chose our suffering. That's justice and justice can only exist where there is free agency. The idea that we chose afflictions such as abuse, neglect, physical pain, mental anguish, starvation, poverty and horrific earthly experiences is a bitter pill to swallow now that we are here and are experiencing it. Our understanding is finite and our eternal perspective difficult to maintain.

Two questions arise out of this theory of free choice. Firstly, did we really understand what suffering was having never experienced it prior to mortality? Many of us would argue that we did not. For instance, a woman does not know what child bearing is like until she is wheeled into the labour ward. The interesting point is that she chooses it again even after experiencing it once.  I would argue that we understood exactly and perfectly what suffering would be like and that this understanding was given to us by the power of God's spirit, He himself having experienced mortality and having experiential knowledge thereof. This truth is confirmed to me by the fact that a third of God's children backed out of the Plan because they understood exactly what mortality was going to be like and therefore opted for Satan's plan with the promise of 'free lunch' (D&C 29:36). The understanding must have been incredibly comprehensive and thus Satan's plan very appealing for those spirits to forsake the all consuming love of God the Father and his promise of eternal life with Him.

Secondly, if we understood it so well how could we possibly choose to suffer so cruely? Those who kept their second estate and were brave enough to embrace mortality with the full understanding of what that actually meant must have been brave enough to embrace it for only one reason: they had explicit faith in Jesus Christ and His power to save us from it. So dependable and honourable was Christ from the beginning that we knew with certainty that He would see the task to the end and save each and every one of us. I believe even those who were not to know Him in this life chose His plan because they knew that in the end the Atonement would bring them healing.

I see other reasons for suffering in mortality besides our desire for self-advancement such as a test of faith but all of these reasons pale in significance to the greatest reason of all. Jesus plainly demonstrated this principle when He healed people of their physical infirmities during this ministry. He didn't heal people  just out of His compassion. There was an important lesson to be learnt from it. It is most obvious in the story of a woman who suffered from 'an issue of blood' for 12 years. The Gospel of Mark records that she suffered many things at the hands of many physicians and none could heal her while she grew worse. Imagine hemorrhaging for twelve years with no end in sight. Out of desperation was born faith that Jesus could heal her and heal her He did merely by the touch of His garment. Both Matthew and Mark cite Christ saying to her that her faith had made her whole but Luke adds something more that the Saviour said to her: "Go in peace" (Luke 9:48) denoting spiritual healing as well as the physical one. What was He trying to teach the people He healed?  That the greatest suffering is not of the body but of the spirit and it is this suffering that we stand to be subjected to if we do not come unto Him. The Saviour expressly said if we do not repent of our sins and allow His Atonement to pay the price of sin we will have to suffer even as He (D&C 19:15-18). The suffering of this life would pale in significance compared to such suffering.

The greatest lesson of suffering is that it is meant to bring us to Christ, the fountain of our salvation. I hear people say, "God won't give you anything that you can't handle" but I believe quite the opposite is true. He will give us whatever it takes to bring us to Him for our eternal welfare is His primary concern. Whether we learn that suffering is meant to bring us to Him here and now or are taught this principle after this life, it matters not. By experiencing suffering here we learn what it actually is and most importantly, that we don't want it and that lesson is of eternal advantage. We live in a fallen world where Satan reigns supreme. We will experience suffering from physical bodies, mental illness, from sin and from actions of others.  It all comes for a purpose even if we don't understand what it is. What we need to know and have faith in is that the Saviour has atoned for it ALL. In Him there is freedom, in Him there is peace, in Him there is joy. May we strive to live so that one day we may find refuge and rest in the shadow of His protective arms where rests eternal life.

ONLY BELIEVE

I had a conversation with an old friend recently who has a close family member with a debilitating mental illness. Whereas I was of an opinion that we are given difficulties in life so that we would turn to God, she had forged an opinion that it was beyond some people to do so, especially those who do not know God. I greatly respect this friend and her opinions but I do not agree with this particular one. Even those who know nothing about God have a concept of His existence and have come to find him in their hour of desperation. As Abraham Lincoln once said: "I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."

I am not speaking here out of idealism. Within my frame of reference lies experience regarding this subject. Not only have I had success myself in turning to God for relief of my difficulties, I too have someone close to me who suffers with a debilitating mental illness. It is heartbreaking to watch and equally frustrating knowing that they could be helped greatly if they would turn to the fountain of all healing and deliverance. So to me, what we live with on daily basis comes down to choice. We seem to all want a life free of pain, difficulties, stress and lack. We want a life full of love, money, success, power and ease.  And when we are afflicted with something and do come to God, we expect instant relief and permanent lifting of the problem. We do not want to 'take up our cross' as the Saviour has admonished us to do (Matt 10:38; Luke 9:23; 3 Nephi 12:30;  D&C 56:2, 112:14). We have forgotten that in our pre-mortal state it was this very cross that we fought for the privilege to carry. Consider what Elder Ballard said on this subject:

"I am convinced that no soul has ever been whipped into this mortal existence; that each one of us came willingly, cheerfully, and gladly; even though we might have known that we were to inherit a body that was crippled, maimed, and deformed, still we were glad to come.....We knew that it meant sorrow, pain, and ultimately, death, and yet we rejoiced in the prospect to come. We saw beyond the valley of the shadow of death, with all of its pain, with all of its suffering, the grand vistas of the eternities, providing for man's eternal and endless progress, on, up and up, until we should attain unto what God is. Yet we knew that we could never ascend until we had descended and had been given a mortal tabernacle, and the union of the spirit and the body had become an accomplished fact. So by the attraction of it all we came gladly and willingly, for our eyes were not so much centered upon the sorrows and troubles of life as upon the grandness of that which lies beyond." (Melvin J. Ballard, "Sermons and Missionary Services of Melvin J. Ballard", p. 179)

For me, it is very simple. We either believe that Christ can do for us what He says He can do, and do it for all of us, or we don't. We either believe that He 'descended below all things (D&C 88:6, 122:8, Heb 2:18, D&C 62:1, Alma 7:12) in order to understand the pains of mortality and how to heal, rescue, deliver and make us whole, or we don't. His Atonement is the source of all power and it is universal. With Him, all things are possible (Mark 10:27) and they are possible for all. And if they are not possible, then the culprit is not Him, but us and our lack of faith. You will recall the story of a Jewish ruler by the name of Jairus who sought Jesus to heal his daughter who lay close to death. This father was stricken with grief as any parent would be. As Jesus traveled to administer the healing, someone came from the ruler's household to advise him that his daughter had died. The Saviour's compassion was stirred within Him as immediately he turned to this ruler with concern for his grief and said: "Be not afraid, only believe" (Mark 10:36). In other words, 'please believe that I can do all things, please believe, even if she is dead, I can yet heal her'. Obviously the ruler trusted Jesus because he led Him to his house and witnessed his daughter come back to life. The most interesting part of this story is what happened at the onset of this whole incident. As Jesus headed for the house of the ruler, a woman 'which had an issue of blood for 12 years' (Mark 10:25) also had pure, un-adulterated faith that the Saviour had so much power that even the hem of His garment would heal her. And of course, she was right.

I recently read the following story as recounted by Carole M. Stephens in October 2016 General Conference who used an example of a remarkable young woman to prove this point: "I have recently become acquainted with a remarkable young woman named Josie who suffers from bipolar disorder. Here is just a little of her journey toward healing as she shared it with me: The worst of the darkness occurs on what my family and I have deemed 'floor days'. It begins with sensory overload and acute sensitivity and resistance to any type of sound, touch, or light. It is the apex of mental anguish. There is one day in particular that I will never forget. it was early in the journey, making the experience especially frightening. I can remember sobbing, tears racing down my face as I gasped for air. But even such intense suffering paled in comparison to the pain that followed as I observed panic overwhelm my mother, so desperate to help me. With my broken mind came her broken heart. But little did we know that despite the deepening darkness, we were just moments away from experiencing a mighty miracle. As the long hour continued, my mom whispered over and over and over again, 'I would do anything to take this from you'. Meanwhile, the darkness intensified, and when I was convinced I could take no more, just then something marvelous occurred. A transcendent and wonderful power suddenly overtook my body. Then, with a 'strength beyond my own', I declared to my mom with great conviction seven life-changing words in response to her repeated desire to bear my pain. I said, 'You don't have to; Someone already has.' From the dark abyss of debilitating mental illness, Josie summoned the strength to testify of Jesus Christ and of His Atonement. She was not healed completely that day, but she received the light of hope in a time of intense darkness. And today, supported by a bedrock of understanding of the doctrine of Christ and refreshed daily by the Saviour's living water, Josie continues on her journey toward healing and exercises unshakable faith in the Master Healer." (Carole M. Stephens, "The Master Healer", in CR October 2016).

Some people who turn to God receive an immediate healing and for some it comes over time. Some never receive a total healing but are given strength to bear their mortal frailties. I don't know why. I do know that there is a certain plan for each of us that will afford us godhood at the end of the road and that we are given what we need to attain that end. Some need an instant miracle to convince them of Christ's power and love; some need to learn lessons that come through continuous suffering with increments of His sustaining power; and some need to learn to trust and believe and be proved by their patience. I also believe that nobody's acknowledgement of the Saviour's power will go unanswered and their faith not honoured, some time, somewhere. My heart goes out to those who are in the waiting room. I know something of that place. My belief is though that you will not be left there forever, just don't be afraid, but only believe.