EXALTED ON HIGH

 

This is a personal story. I have viewed this mortal existence with dread my entire life. I have endured many trials and experienced much pain from a young age so my overall assessment of life has not been a very favourable one. So much in fact that I have always looked forward to my departure. It is just now, in my sixties that I am learning the sacred purpose and privilege of my life.

Some months ago I had a very personal revelation, the nature of which I will not fully disclose but I will say something of it that might help anybody who is struggling to understand their life. It was revealed to me that Heavenly Father wanted to exalt ME and that this was the reason He sent me to this earth. Not that he sent His children to mortality because He wanted to exalt them, but ME, personally.

Even though it is true that He wanted to exalt ALL His children, this was a uniquely personal message. He wanted to exalt ME because He knew me, loved me, appreciated me and wanted me to have the riches of eternity. Even though I am not the only one He wished this for, the nature of this revelation was a personal message to me so I could start to appreciate my purpose here. It was a stamp on my life I had to have.

Of course, with such a revelation comes a greater understanding of one’s responsibility to rise to one’s potential. The second feeling I have lived with all my life is that I am not good enough and never will be. I have often felt weak and stripped of dignity as I have navigated what I call my ‘earthly indignities’.

I thought I understood the Atonement pretty well as I have gained a personal testimony of its’ effectiveness years ago but a small thing happened after I received the abovementioned revelation that helped me accept my earthly incapacities and has given me hope that I can rise to Heavenly Father’s expectations of me.

I randomly opened my scriptures one day when I was seeking some comfort regarding myself. The page that rested in my view had one short and impactful sentence highlighted. It simply said: “I will be merciful unto you” (D&C 64:4).

Since that day I have obtained a deep understanding of how the Saviour can raise me up in forgiveness of my lack of appreciation for my mortality and give me power to meet my potential in this life.

Imagine if you discovered what God’s expectation of you was and you were left to your own mortal strength to meet that. The feelings of failure would be so strong every day that you would beat yourself up constantly. But this doesn’t have to be so.

My deep gratitude, my overwhelming love and my adoration is double fold….for the Father who wants me back and delights in my being and for the Saviour who deemed me worthy of His suffering and His power to raise me up. Without Him my life would not be possible and my exaltation even less so. Without Him to get me to my final destination, all that I am would be wasted. Without Him, I would not be.

I worshipped You in heaven

As my Saviour and my King,

I knew Your holy suffering

Would pay for everything.

 

I rejoiced in heaven

When I heard Your sweet cry

In the warmth of the stable,

The beginning of Your journey

To the sacrificial table.

 

I awaited anxiously to see

All that you would do,

And I wept bitterly

When the cross claimed You.

 

But when You returned in triumph

With trumps echoing Your fame,

I was amazed at the price You paid

For the value of my name!

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Be Healed by Chris Brazelton)