NINETY NINE

 

“Remember the shepherd who left the ‘ninety and nine’ to go in search of the one (Luke 15:4)? When I was younger I always felt bad for the ninety-nine who were left behind while the shepherd paid so much attention to just one. Now I realise that by caring so much about the one, the shepherd was also communicating his love for the ninety-nine. By seeking the lost sheep, the shepherd helped all the others feel more secure.

“What if the shepherd had said, “Hey, I’m not going to take time to go find that dumb lost sheep! He has a big nose and frizzy wool anyway.” Even if the ninety-nine laughed, they probably would have been thinking, “Is that how he is going to act when I get lost?”

-        (Brad Wilcox, “Gospel Answers About Maturation (Bookcraft, 2000, pp 29-30

When I joined the Church I was only 18 years old. I had been a good Catholic girl. I was also a little self- righteous and I thought that the ninety-nine sheep were overlooked and under-appreciated because they were good. I saw quite a few Young Adults straying when I joined the Church and I couldn’t understand how they could just come back, everybody made a fuss and everything was forgiven and forgotten. Over the years I came to understand there was much more to sinning and repentance.

When I read this quote some years later, I understood it had a much deeper meaning: if I went astray and was lost, the Saviour would abandon everything and all to find me too. I would matter. By going after the one, He was showing the ninety-nine that He would do the same for them.

This led me later to see also a deeper meaning of the Prodigal Son parable. In the beginning I could identify with the older righteous son who never went away and remained with his father in faithfulness. I thought he was overlooked when he missed out on the fatted calf. I felt his father had taken him for granted and did not appreciate him..

Then one year as we studied the New Testament, I saw this. I saw the Saviour in the older son, but with a huge difference. The parable's good son never sought him who was lost, despite the kinship, despite the brotherhood, despite the Father's sorrow over his loss. Whereas the parable's good son was reluctant and fearful he would have to share his inheritance with his brother, the Saviour, in the beginning said: “I will seek them that are lost and I will bring them back and share with them all that I have.”

 

I identified with the prodigal son that year. Even though I had not committed any grave sin, I realised that I, like him have made unwise decisions in my life, not exercising the power of foresight when I made them which affected many aspects of my temporal life.

 

Because every decision carries with it consequences and repercussions, I have suffered over the years because of them. For more years than I care to admit, these decisions had exhausted my feelings of self-esteem perpetuating my lack of self-forgiveness.

 

But there is redemption from all imperfection. The Atonement covers all sin and all foibles of mortality and its ensuing suffering, even that of bad decisions. It means all our sins, our bad choices and our unwise decisions can be swept away. It means the Saviour goes after the prodigals so they can return. It means the one sheep that gets lost can rejoin the ninety-nine. It means we are lost without Him. It means He is our everything….

 

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Green Pastures by Yongsung Kim)