TO PROVE US HEREWITH

I have always admired Father Abraham, not just for his infallible commitment to obedience but for his amazing righteousness.  I am terribly attracted to people who are strong enough to be righteous in this evil world.  I consider them people magnets.  My patriarchal blessing tells me that I am 'a true Israelite, being of the seed of Abraham'.  I therefore hope that in me lies Abraham's ability to follow God in whatever circumstances I find myself in this life. 

It is ironic to me that Abraham was the one who was shown the pre-existence with its' plan to "prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them". (Abraham 3:25)  Abraham was truly proved and tested and thus became the perfect example of this plan. Abraham longed for posterity and he longed for an heir to the blessings of the priesthood which he himself received.  This desire was foremost in his heart and it corresponded with a vision the Lord gave him of innumerable posterity that would be his.  Because he was so righteous and faithful and didn't give up on God's promises he was blessed with the desire of his heart in his old age.  The fulfilment of this desire was in and of itself a miracle since both Abraham and his wife were well stricken in years.  I always imagine that Abraham must have felt exceedingly loved by God because he gave him Isaac.  That feeling of love must have been questioned to a great degree when Abraham was asked to give up the son that all of his hopes rested upon and do that which he considered most heinous in his youth.  I cannot imagine with what heaviness of heart Abraham ascended Moriah's hill to offer his son as a human sacrifice.  Not only did the promise of posterity hang in balance but what Abraham was asked to do 'threatened to empty all the meaning from the story of his life'. (E. Douglas Clark, The Blessings of Abraham, Becoming A Zion People, p 210).   He had laboured exceedingly to bring about Zion and had converted many people who he brought into his circle to live with him. 

"What would happen to his followers and those who admired him if he slaughtered Isaac and the world learned that Abraham's teachings had been violated in the grossest manner by the teacher himself?  His entire lifetime of achievement would have been nullified.  He would have been despised, vilified, ridiculed". (Hayden, Love of Abraham and Sarah, 46)

Abraham stood to lose everything by sacrificing Isaac, even perhaps his undaunting faith in God.  Would he have felt the same towards God after the sacrifice was accomplished?  The story of Abraham astounds me.  It is the greatest lesson of power that can be received through faith in God.

I believe every true follower of Christ stands to be tried and tested in likewise manner with whatever is at the centre of their heart.  When the test comes, you will be the deciding factor between power and weakness.  You will either be lost or found.  You will either turn away from God or turn to Him.  If you turn away, you will most likely abandon the truth you now have and if you turn to God you will gain the riches of eternity.  God knows what our response would be to any trial so why test us so?  Apostle George Q. Cannon offered this explanation regarding Abraham:

"Why did the Lord ask such things of Abraham?  Because, knowing what his future would be and that he would be the father of an innumerable posterity, He was determined to test him.  God did not do this for His own sake for He knew by His foreknowledge what Abraham would do; but the purpose was to impress upon Abraham a lesson and to enable him to attain unto knowledge that he could not obtain in any other way.  That is why God tries all of us.  It is not for his own knowledge for He knows all things beforehand.  he knows all your lives and everything you will do.  But He tries us for our own good that we may know ourselves; for it is most important that a man should know himself". 

So God tested Abraham so that Abraham would know Abraham and his true commitment to God.  Herein lies a great lesson for us.  And why didn't God test Abraham in another way, why ask of Him something almost impossible to give?  Because the test of faith has to equal the stature of the man.  For instance, not just any trial would have done for Job.  Job was an incredibly righteous man and the test of his faith had to equal the measure of his faith and righteousness. 

Everybody's test of faith is the heaviest one for them to bear.  What might seem not so great to one person could just about break another.  My test of faith was without doubt my divorce.  I had joined the Church primarily because I wanted an eternal marriage and an eternal family.  I believed I was led to the person who I thought I would have that with.  Eleven years later I was a single mother reeling from the most intense emotional pain I had ever experienced and I was hanging by a thread in the Church.  I was angry, bitter, upset, resentful and through it all I lost all trust in God.  The only thing that saved me from turning away from Him was my faith that only He could deliver me from the pain I was in, that no other power on earth could do it.  That pain was an incredible blessing to me.  Not only did it help me see how much I loved the Church and believed it was true, but it led me to study about the Atonement and to come to know God.  The good that came out of this darkest time of my life helped me survive the following years of hardship and pain as I struggled with single parenting. 

Like Abraham, I had an Isaac in the centre of my heart.  I wanted an eternal family as much as he wanted Isaac and despite my best efforts in being a good member of the Church, it was taken away from me.  What followed the biggest test of my life was years of living without any security, a lot of effort to regain my self-esteem and a necessity to redefine my standing in the Church.  All you who have been unfortunate enough to get divorced will know what I am saying here, especially the women.  On top of these great challenges,  my beautiful, sensitive and spiritual daughter was terribly affected by my struggles and went through adolescent depression which derailed her from the Church and stretched me almost beyond my capacity to endure.  But even this horrendous experience and all the consequences and repercussions of divorce have proved to be a blessing to my growth as a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I could not have endured any of it had I not immersed myself into the scriptures and come to understand the power of the Atonement.  I came to know that nobody understood my life like the Saviour did because he experienced it for a few short moments in his greatest agony. 

It was during my study of the Atonement that I had my second dream of the Saviour.  This time I found myself in the Garden of Gethsemane and saw the Saviour writhing in excruciating pain on the ground.  Remembering my own pain and how severe it was, I knew the Saviour was experiencing the same, only multiplied by all the people who would ever live on this earth and I could not stand the thought of it.  I was beside myself and begged for someone to stop it.  Beside me was someone who was consoling me and reassuring me that it was needful for this to take place and that it would all end well.

 The Atonement became personal to me in two ways.  The first happened one Stake Conference when we were singing Redeemer of Israel and I had a vision of myself in pre-existence preaching the gospel to others less converted to the Saviour's plan.  The second came years later when during prayer one day as I expressed my remorse for all my weaknesses and struggles I remembered this vision. An instant understanding came to me that the Saviour had died for me because I was valiant in my testimony of Jesus in my pre-existence, that His Atonement was a gift to me because of my faith in Him before I was even born.  I understood that He knew I would struggle greatly in this life and that I would need His sacrifice and grace to get me home.  I am sure that this is true of all of us.  Our salvation was and is of utmost importance to Him who bled at every pore so we can have eternal life.

I believe this personal understanding of the Atonement would not have come to me had I turned my back on God during my test of faith.  I would not have come to know God like I now know Him.  I would not have been blessed with many personal revelations I have had and my testimony would not now be on firm ground.  The blessings I have received have far outweighed the trial of my faith.  It is all worth it. I have seen many blessings in my life as a result of my continued faithfulness.  Blessings that seem to be missing from the lives of those I have seen who did not continue to walk in paths of righteousness because of their trials.  My greatest blessing has been my daughter who was saved from the clutches of the adversary and brought back into the fold.  She is now a returned missionary and has fulfilled the promise in my patriarchal blessing that my children would grow up to bless and honour my name.

If you are hanging by a thread, I testify the Saviour is your only hope.  He has cried your tears, suffered your sorrows, walked in your shoes.  Only He knows what it is like to be you.  He has the power to heal you and He has the power to rescue you.  The Atonement is not something, it is everything.