I shed many
tears yesterday as I came to the end of a particularly difficult week with my
physical suffering. I expected some sort of comfort from above but I did not
expect what I was given.
Surprisingly,
my mind opened and I was given to comprehend through my tears, as much as I
could comprehend, my significance in the Plan of Salvation and at the same time
my significance as a single entity outside of the vast overall picture of the process of
that Plan.
I came to
understand that there is something so much bigger than me and my experience no
matter how painful it might be but at the same time, that pain was not without
its importance to God.
The
comprehension of the Plan which enlarges the Father’s glory through the
salvation of us, eternal intelligences flooded my soul to the point that I
could not verbalise it. I find it difficult even now to find the words. I
understood the Saviour’s frustration in trying to describe to our limited
mortal minds the kingdoms in existence beyond the planet we are for the time
confined to when He said: “Unto what shall I liken these kingdoms, that ye may
understand????” (D&C 88:46)
This lack
of perfect comprehension made me see how important is our faith and our trust.
One day we will plainly see how our lives, our sufferings and our sacrifices
were a part of something significant with eternal consequences that is now
beyond us to even imagine. We will understand our role in this universe and
beyond. Intelligences we might be but the eternal in us is withheld for now
from our grasp by the physical realm we are confined to.
This experience
did not really bring me comfort but it surprised me that God can teach us
something so vast in our most dire moments if we always have our hearts open
with a willingness to receive answers greater than we can ourselves supply.
In all that
I received yesterday, my dire moment presented to me the unfairness of the
Saviour’s life and His unfathomable sacrifice for others. The scope of that
sacrifice is also beyond my understanding as is the resultant splendour of His
glory He now has.
My point is
this. There is something far, far bigger than what we can for now see, feel and
touch. We might not see it but the spirit in us has the ability to believe it.
We are both ants on this planet and also entities so big no space can contain
us. It all depends on the perspective of the moment. One day we, the gods in
embryo, will understand and rejoice in our being.
How small and insignificant I am
Among the countless children
Of this earth’s dust and fleeting pace
But of what importance
to my Saviour’s eternal grace!
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Artist Unknown)
