BECAUSE OF HIM

 

We are tempest tossed on this sea of humanity. Some of us are lost, scared, alienated, and most of us are suffering from some negative effect of mortal life, but there is one collective way in which we all suffer. 

I have been through trials before but have always had good health. The trial of bad health I am going through now has been incredibly hard for me because none of my trials before have tested me to this extent. It began to frighten me of late that I might be losing what I considered to be the most important part of me…..my faith. I was slipping into bad depression one day thinking if my faith in God was taken away from me, there would be nothing of me left because my faith was my make-up.

Upon further reflection I realized what I feared in reality was not losing my faith but my connection to God that I had developed in fifty years of my Church membership. I had come to the point where I was hearing the voice of God in my life in different ways and my testimony of His existence was iron clad. To lose that would be the devastation like I had never known before. I could not comprehend how lost I would feel in this vast universe. This is fear of nothingness for me.

For many years now I have tried to understand the true meaning of earthly suffering. I have been given different gospel perspectives to this question which I agree with but nothing had really stood out to me in such a personal way as what I learnt through physical suffering. If its not the explanation for all, it is for me. On many days of intense pain I have felt alienated from God, abandoned and all alone. Pain seems to do that. Physical suffering teaches us what it would feel like to be spiritually cut off from God’s presence forever. Once you understand it, it becomes a deterrent to sinning.

Just being taken out of God’s presence in which we lived for eons and placed in another sphere of existence has an effect on all of us, even if we don’t realize it. A French philosopher and Jesuit priest, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said something profound once: “We are spiritual beings having a human experience and not humans having a spiritual experience”. Because of this truth, we are all hungering and seeking that spiritual connection we once had with God, even if we don’t realise it. Some of us who do not find it in the right place, seek devastating counterfeits which lead them to self-destruction. The truth remains, we are all seeking God.

The good news is that there is hope…..for all of us. There is a spiritual umbilical cord that ties us to the origin of our existence and ensures we do not have to be lost forever. I cannot think of a greater happiness and joy than being in the presence of a God of love for all eternity. This was the Saviour’s primary motivation for His eternal sacrifice…..that we be with the Father forever.

Before He went to the Garden and the cross, the Saviour was certain that the Father would be with Him during His suffering. He said as much to his disciples (John 8:29; 16:32). Imagine His surprise when the Father withdrew and He was left alone. This was needful for a couple of reasons:  1. where there is sin, which was upon the Saviour during the Atonement, God’s spirit withdraws (Mosiah 2:36);  and 2. so the glory would be exclusively His and He could say, “I have trodden the winepress alone…” (D&C 133:50).

This, however, is the primary reason why the Father withdrew. It was imperative that the Saviour understood spiritual death from first-hand experience and what it would be like for us, sinners, to be cut off from the presence of God forever. For this He endured the cross until He could say ‘it is finished’ (John 19:30). The Atonement overcame spiritual death and redeemed us from the Fall.

Considering the closeness and connection He had with His Father, I cannot imagine the devastation He felt during this ordeal of alienation but this too He was willing to suffer for our sake. This is the God we worship, this is the God we love. All honour and praise be to His name forever. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Uplift the World by Eva Koleva Timothy)

ODE TO MOTHER EVE

 

HOMAGE TO MOTHER EVE WHO WAS THE FIRST WOMAN TO KNOW SORROW:

God said, “BE FRUITFUL, AND MULTIPLY”

And God said, “I WILL GREATLY MULTIPLY THY SORROW”

Thy sorrow, sorrow, sorrow –

I have gotten a man from the Lord

I have traded the fruit of the garden for fruit of my body

For a laughing bundle of humanity.

 

Adam, where are the boys?

Where is Abel?

He is long caring for his flocks.

Are the ewes lambing in this storm?

 

Why your troubled face, Adam? Are you ill?

Why so pale, so agitated?

Dead?  What is dead?  Merciful God!

 

I am trying to understand.

You said, “Abel is dead.”

But I am skilled with herbs….

Herbs will not heal?  Dead?

 

And Cain? Where is Cain?

Listen to that thunder.

Cain cursed?

God said, “A fugitive and a vagabond?”

But God can’t do that.

They are my sons, too.

I gave them birth in the valley of pain.

 

This is his home

This the soil he loved

Where he toiled for golden wheat

For tasselled corn.

 

To the hill country?

Quick, we must find him

I worry, thinking of him wandering

With no place to lay his head.

Cain cursed? A wanderer, a roamer?

 

Abel, my son dead?

And Cain, my son, a fugitive?

Two sons Adam, we had two sons

Both – oh, Adam – multiply sorrow.

 

Dear God, why?

Tell me again about the fruit.

Please tell me again, why?

 

-          Arta Romney Ballif

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(aRT: Eve by Mandy Jane Williams

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THREE PILLARS OF ETERNITY: THE FALL

 

“He [Adam] stood in the presence of his Maker, conversed with him face to face, and gazed upon his glory, without a dimming veil between. O reader, contemplate for a moment this beautiful creation, with peace and plenty: the earth teeming with harmless animals,….the air swarming with delightful birds whose never-ceasing notes filled the air with varied melody;….while legions of angels encamped round about him and joined their glad voices in grateful songs of praise and shouts of joy.

“Neither sigh nor groan was heard through the vast expanse; neither was there sorrow, fear, pain, weeping, sickness, nor death; neither contentions, wars, nor bloodshed, but peace crowned the seasons as they rolled, and life, joy, and love reigned over all God’s works.”  (Parley P. Pratt, “Key to the Science of Theology and Voice of Warning, ; p 85)

Such was Parley P. Pratt’s vision of the idyllic world of Eden. But as idyllic as it was, a Harvard philosopher, John Fiske, called it rightly a “way-station, not a destination” a fool’s paradise where nothing called ‘character’  could have been produced there” (Fiske, “Studies in Religion”, p 252)

The Garden of Eden, where such tranquility existed, had two positives and two negatives. The positives were: 1. Immortality; 2. The presence of God. This state of existence produced only one thing, “a world of spiritual sterility” (Tad R. Callister, “The Infinite Atonement, p 34)

The two negatives of Eden were: 1. No knowledge of good and evil hence no moral agency and no progression; and 2. No procreation. “A continuation of this condition would literally defeat the plan of salvation (ibid, p 35)

There is much that can be written about this subject but this has to be the most important thing we should take away from it. When Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, the seeds of death were planted in their veins and when they were cast out from the Garden of Eden they became ‘spiritually dead’ (D&C 29:41). To be spiritually dead means to be ‘cut off from the presence of the Lord’ (2 Nephi 9:6; see also Helaman 14:16).

“To be cast from the presence of the Holy One is estrangement of the worst kind. It is to take from us that which means most – our sense of belonging to the divine family. It is to strip us of security and self-worth in one fatal blow…It is akin to restricting our communication with a loved one to the telephone; the lines can be clear, the conversation frequent, but the happiness that comes from being in another’s physical presence is missing.” (Tad R. Callister, “The Infinite Atonement, p 41). This is the state Adam and Eve were in after they left Eden. And this is the state of us now. Only the telephone line is there.

This is what we should take notice of…..There is a return from the first spiritual death through the Atonement of Christ but there shall be no return from the final spiritual death that shall be pronounced upon all the wicked on Judgment Day when God shall say: Depart, ye cursed (D&C 29:41).  

This is something we would feel the effects of for eternity: a perpetual sorrow, a wanting, a longing that can never be satisfied. To be cut off from the presence of God is the greatest tragedy there is. Even Cain in his depraved condition considered his banishment from God’s presence more than he could bear (Genesis 4:13,14).

I think the Saviour knew in the beginning what it means to be cut off from Father’s presence forever. This is why He yearned to save us from this devastation, hence so much emphasis on the sheep that are ‘lost’.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Creation of Eve by Rose Datoc Dall)

 

LOVING MORTALITY

 

There is a scene in a movie called “The City of Angels” where a deceased little girl is escorted out of the hospital by an angel who asks her: “What did you like best?” The little girl, in her innocence, replied: “Pajamas”.

I have often wondered what my answer would be if I was asked this question by an angel at the pearly gates. I used to feel guilty for a long time that I couldn’t say I love life but I have learnt over the years to be grateful for it, as hard as it is, for what it is making of me and where it is taking me.

Sometimes we get caught up in the pressure put on us to cultivate a positive attitude. Some of us consider  being negative in any way a downfall. Whereas, I believe there is a place for being positive, I equally believe it is dangerous to systematically deny negative things about life believing if we do so we will be happy.

I knew someone who considered positive attitude a virtue and who boasted that life was always beautiful and that he never let anything get him down. What he in actuality succeeded at the most was denying a full spectrum of human emotions, invalidating truth and reality and exerting a projection of superiority over others.

When Nephi said, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25) he had more than this life in mind. Adam and Eve rejoiced in the joy of their redemption and eternal life which will follow (Moses 5:11). If anybody found this mortal life a burden it would have to be Adam and Eve. Living out their mortal lives remembering what it was like to be in God’s presence would have been excruciating, therefore, their joy was rightfully in being redeemed from The Fall.

I cannot imagine the Saviour saying that He enjoyed His mortality. Paul tells us that ‘He endured the cross despising the shame of it for the joy that was set before Him’ (Hebrews 12:2). In reality, He endured His mortality, and gruesome death, looking forward to eternity.

And I think this is the point. If we were too comfortable here, if we had all the happiness we wanted, if our lives were smooth and easy, none of us would want to leave here. We would not yearn for eternal life with God where there is no trial, no pain, no misery.

Having said all that, I will now say this. It’s not about the quality of life you were given or how happy or unhappy it made you. It’s what you have become because of it that counts. This is what I know. Every righteous and good desire I have had in my life was met by God. He gave me all the trials and difficulties I needed to become who I wanted to be.

Nowdays I am ok with not loving life. It’s been hard but worth it. When I cross the bar and stand with God  face to face and He asks me what I liked best, I will say: ME. This is what I came for and what I will take back. I know deep down, I will kneel before Him and my heart will overflow with gratitude for my mortality. I hope that’s what will be written about me in the Book of Life.

 

Your teaching moments

 feed me like a bird in flight

Searching for a morsel

That gladdens its hungry heart.

These gifts are laid at my feet

And I, I come to You Father

Clutching these riches

That are mine to keep.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Book of Life by Chris Brazelton)

EQUALLY NEEDY

I read recently Elder Holland’s glowing tribute to his wife Patricia. He basically described a perfect woman who always had the scriptures in her hands. I walked away feeling less than good about myself wondering how anyone can be so perfect.

Do you know people who seem to have easy, wonderful lives and who seldom get touched by any trial? I do. I don’t know why some people get away with simple, seemingly perfect lives and others don’t. I would imagine a lot of factors play a part. All I know according to personal revelation is that my life was planned for me and I am trusting that. I certainly don’t begrudge anyone an easy life, in fact I am glad someone has that.  

One thing I do know. No matter how perfect you are in this life, you still need the sanctifying blood of the Atonement. Abraham, Job and Noah were the most perfect according to the scriptures but they still needed saving simply because our mortality is a fallen state. There is no other way to be redeemed and be reconciled with the Father and be brought back into His presence but through the grace of Jesus Christ.  

Noah was a ‘just man and perfect in his generations’ (Genesis 6:9). Abraham was ‘the father of the faithful’ (D&C 138:41), one of the ‘great ones’ who was in Christ’s bosom long before this earth began (Abraham 3:23), a man whom the Saviour called ‘my friend’ (James 2:23; Isaiah 41:8) and Job, what hasn’t been said about Job?  A man who ‘was perfect and upright and one that feared God, and eschewed evil’…… and yet his life turned into a ruin (Job 1:1).

Another thing I know. We do not walk in other people’s shoes. We only know what is available to the eye. We are each a walking sum of our choices, our desires, our achievements, our abilities, our responsibilities, our challenges and our opportunities. We are all different people with the same destiny. We are God’s children destined for eternal glory.

When I joined the Church I did not desire to be perfect. Instead my desire was to be a strong person. I wanted to be valiant to the end. I wanted to be like Job. This is someone I admired the most. A man who endured against all odds and still sang praises to God. He was the perfect example that the trial equals the stature of the man. The trial of faith has to have the power to destroy that faith.

Another thing I saw in Job – his humanity. His soul became weary of living and he wished to die (Job 3:3; 10:1). I have been there…more than once. Now I am learning about endurance I am often reminded of my hero Job who was rescued by the greatest hero of all who suffered it all……

You sank so deep

Into the mire of your pain;

Nobody followed you

Nobody sang praises to your name.

 

In your hour of agony

You gloried in His name

You became my beacon of hope

that I can do the same.

 

He stood as sentinel

to your yielding heart

Knowing your trust

would stand the test of time.

 

He crushed the enemy

of your soul in the final hour,

His glory, His might,

His unfathomable power.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Artist Unknown)

MERCIFUL REDEMPTION

 

“I once heard a child tell the parable of the lost sheep in a way that stirred fresh thoughts about who the lost sheep is. A little girl so tiny that we could barely see the top of her ponytails over the pulpit told the story in a sacrament meeting….She said:

“There was once a shepherd who had a hundred sheep. He loved his sheep, so he counted them every day. One day he counted: ‘……ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine.’ A little sheep was lost. The shepherd went to find him. The little sheep was far off in the rocks and bushes. He was frightened and lonely. The shepherd went to find him. The little sheep heard him and was glad. He said: ‘Baa-aa’. The shepherd came and found the little sheep. He picked him up and carried him on his shoulder back to his mommy. Then he counted again: ‘…..ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.’ All the sheep were safely home.” (Bruce C.  Hafen, “The Broken Heart”, p 37-8)

Elder Hafen said that it dawned on him as he listened, that he was the lost sheep, that those he knew and loved were the lost sheep, that the people in the Church were the lost sheep, indeed he said we are all lost sheep…..because of our first parents, Adam and Eve who “were cast out of their garden of innocence into the lone and dreary world, and ‘out in the desert they wandered, hungry and helpless and cold’ (p 38).

The Atonement has so many facets that it is difficult at times to grasp it all. Perhaps the most important  would have to be Christ’s power to redeem us from The Fall. Having been removed from the Father’s presence, we are born strangers and pilgrims on this earth (D&C 45:13) but the Saviour’s Redemption means we can one day be restored to our former home.

The greatest scriptural symbol of Redemption is Ruth, a lowly woman of Moab who married an Israelite. She was a convert to the Lord, God of Israel ‘under whose wings she had come to trust’ (Ruth 2:12). When her Israelite husband died and left her with no children, Ruth became one of the lowliest of the earth, devoid of security or livelihood. When she returned to Bethlehem with her mother Naomi, she consented to a ‘levirate’ marriage with Naomi’s next of kin, as was the custom in Israel.

Through a levirate marriage, the woman was provided with children and restored to security and society and brought back to the family home. Here is where things become interesting. The Hebrew word for a man who would step up to this responsibility was GO’EL. The King James Version of the Bible translates it as simply ‘kinsman’ but the proper and literal meaning of GO’EL is ‘redeemer’ (Rasmussen, “Introduction to the Old Testament”, 1:157)

Ruth’s GO’EL was Boaz. Boaz became Ruth’s redeemer and restorer of all she had lost. Boaz and Ruth had a son whose name was Obed, who became the father of Jesse, who was the father of King David, who was the progenitor of Mary, who was the mother of Christ.

Consider for a moment how Christ redeems us from our fallen state and restores us to the presence of the Father and our eternal home. The Saviour himself affirms His role as the GO’EL when He refers to himself as the bridegroom and us, Israel, as the bride (Matthew 25:1-13; D&C 33:17; 65:3; 88:92; 133:10). He is the greatest GO’EL of all….. the Redeemer, the Restorer, the Hope of Israel, the Shepherd who leads home all that are lost.

Elder Hafen tried to imagine how he would feel if he was found unworthy on Judgment Day to return to Father’s presence. He said he didn’t think he could stand a longing for eternity that could not be fulfilled (p 88). I am of certainty that I would feel like Cain of old who said when he was banished from God’s presence to be a vagabond on this earth: “My punishment is greater than I can bear.”  (Genesis 4:13)

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Guiding Them Home by Yongsung Kim)