RIVER OF MY TEARS

 

God of Wonders by Yongsung Kim

You seemed so far away,

My hope of rescue grew into fears,

Oh how my heart rejoiced

When I found You

 in the river of my tears!

- Cathryne Allen 

FEAR

 

I was privileged recently to be given a deeper understanding of ‘fear’ through a personal experience that I will not recount here as my aim is to share the lesson I was given instead. Rest assured though that I have had my battle with this principle so I speak from my own frame of reference.

I concede that the adversary uses fear as a form of control but I am talking about deep seated fears here that we ourselves have created which sabotage our growth, our direction in life, and even our faith in God. Fears that subvert our path in life, cause mistrust, rob us of peace and use us like puppets on a string disguised as an unseen enemy.

Most of you are familiar with the scripture that says, “for God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). The sound mind is for us to discern falsehood from reality. Fear is not reality. Deep seated fears are usually a residual effect of traumatic experiences we have been through.

Fear has no substance, nevertheless, we somehow hold onto it thinking it will protect us from wading into some deep water again that at one stage sought to drown us. Some fears are so deeply engrained in us that we are not even aware that we are harbouring them.

This is the lesson I was taught. Fears too are covered by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Since painful damaging experiences in life are worthy of the healing power of Christ, it goes without saying that fears, being a resultant part of those experiences, are covered by the same redeeming power. We can be healed from them the same way we are healed from consequences of sin, abuse, mistakes, injustice, and every pain known to man.

If you are carrying an experience in your life, that you cannot get past, consider that fear is at play. The Saviour doesn’t want it to control you. He is the Prince of Peace who grants freedom from any debilitating part of mortality. He is waiting to heal you. There is nothing which impedes our growth that He has not atoned for: fear not, only believe.

 I kept my fears so close to my heart,

They hid so well not wanting to depart.

They pulled the strings

And bade me where to go;

They owned my soul

More than I wanted to know.

 

You took possession of the inner me

And thought that change

Would suit me beautifully.

You entered my heart

when I gave You the key

And replaced those fears with tranquility.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: The Source of Peace and Serenity by Ivan Guadarrama) 

FEARLESS

 

In my last post where I wrote about the privilege we can have to see the face of Christ, I mentioned a scripture that supported that doctrine which reads like this: “….inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me….the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am….” (D&C 67:10)

I understood jealousies and lack of humility to be the stumbling block because they allude to attributes of righteousness but I wondered why the Lord included ‘fears’ in the list of the prerequisites. After a few days of pondering I understood why. Fear is inverted faith. Fear and faith cannot co-exist. You either have one or the other. You cannot hold onto fears produced by mortality and say you have faith in God and His providence.

This led me to ask what fears the early saints had that would impede their faith. This is actually easy to understand when you consider the hardships, sacrifices and persecutions that confronted them. Nevertheless, the fears they had regarding their condition would have negated the faith they should have had in the Saviour as their support, their caregiver and deliverer from difficulties they were called upon to bear. This is not a judgmental observation but an attempt to highlight the power of faith.

And this is to highlight the power of fear. The revelation of Section 67 was concerning a special conference of the Elders in regards to the printing of 65 revelations received by Joseph up to that time. In verse 3 of this Section, the Lord tells these Elders that they believed that they should receive the blessing which was offered to them but that they didn’t receive it because of the ‘fears in their hearts’.

It is not clear what blessing these fears were responsible for but considering that William W. Phelps was one of the Elders involved in the conference and the printing of the ‘Book of Commandments’, this offers some clarity regarding the fears. Not only did he question the language of the revelations, because he was a ‘learned man’ and an educator, he also attempted to write one himself and failed miserably (Doctrine & Covenants Student Manual p 142).

William W. Phelps was Joseph’s close associate who left the Church for a time with Oliver Cowdery. He became fiercely anti and wrote an incriminating affidavit which landed Joseph and Sidney Rigdon in jail and wreaked deadly havoc on the Church community. He later repented and admitted he had been under immense pressure and persecution from the opposing forces to the Church. Phelps stands as a good example of the fears that would have plagued the early saints.

Very often we miss out on the greatest blessings because we don’t focus on what we want but instead we focus on what we don’t want to happen to us. This creates a very powerful tool that brings that unwanted thing upon us, the tool called FEAR. This tool often directs the paths we take in life and dictates how productive we are. It cripples our self-confidence, it prevents happiness by projecting outcomes that might never happen, and at times it manifests that which we don’t want. In Job’s words: “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me” (Job 3:25)

The worst of all, it destroys our faith in God who heralds: “Fear thou not, for I am with thee….” (Isaiah 41:10)

I kept my fears so close to my heart,

They hid so well not wanting to depart.

They pulled the strings

And bade me where to go;

They owned my soul

More than I wanted to know.

You took possession of the inner me

And replaced those fears with tranquility.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Jesus Tranquil Grace by Ivan Guaderrama)