Some
years ago I read a book by Hugh Nibley titled “Approaching Zion” where he talked
at length about the gifts of God that have been given us. It helped me see how
the Atonement of Jesus Christ is a gift that cannot be earned. A gift is
something that has already been bought with a price, therefore it cannot be
re-purchased. A gift is something that is given from the good will of a giver.
The
gift of the Atonement is given through grace and even though grace asks for devotion
and a broken heart and a contrite spirit of the recipient, it does not ask for
perfection. This concept is very transparent on Christmas morning when we give
gifts to our children who are not perfect. Their misdemeanours live on but the
love and the good will from the giver casts a shadow called a forgiveness by
the gift that is given.
I
learnt recently that mercy, born of the Atonement, is a gift too. We often read
scriptures and take for granted all that is promised us and fail to see that these
gifts are not given merely for the asking.
I have for
a while now been praying for mercy regarding my illness. I have wanted a
healing. There have been days when I felt the absence of it acutely and I am
ashamed to admit with that absence came disbelief of God’s love. I could simply
not understand it. I thought I qualified even just for a fraction of the ample
mercy we are told is ever at the Saviour’s disposal to give. And this is a
mistake. If something is there and it is promised, we tend to think we are
entitled to it.
It was
given to me to see clearly that mercy cannot be given on demand, otherwise it
is not mercy. Mercy comes from the one who is merciful to give. It cannot be
manipulated, demanded, expected, or even earned. It comes from the Saviour’s
merciful heart and therefore it comes on His terms. Saviour’s mercy is a gift
that should be trusted in but when and how it is offered is up to Him.
Because
mercy is usually given as a form of relief, if that relief was given us
prematurely, it could jeopardize our growth and learning. In my reflection, I
asked myself what it is that I am supposed to learn through my suffering. I could
see clearly how suffering has not yet produced in me the tolerance that I
lacked. Some days I have been highly reactionary to my pain to the point of
causing offence to those who try to help me. As I realized this, the Saviour’s
example of forbearance and self-control flooded my mind and I knew this suffering
was my opportunity to become more Christ-like.
I recalled
how He hung on the cross with all the power at His fingertips to get down from
the cross but He stayed there listening to those who passed by railing on him,
wagging their heads, and saying: “Thou that destroyest the temple and buildest
it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the
cross…..He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel,
let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him. He trusted in
God; let him deliver him now, if he will have him: for he said, I am the Son of
God. The thieves also, which were crucified with him, cast the same in his
teeth.” (see Matthew 27:39-44; Mark 15:29-32; Luke 23:34-39).
It has
puzzled me why John never did not speak of this in his written record. His only comment was that the importance of
the scriptures regarding Christ should be fulfilled that we might believe (John
19:35,36). Perhaps He understood the Saviour more than all the others. Perhaps
he understood His mercy as promised through Isaiah, which was to come for the branch
of Israel who would crucify Him and revile Him and forsake Him to worship other
gods:
“For a
small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting
kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.
“For the
mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not
depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the
Lord that hath mercy on thee.” (Isaiah
54:7,8,10)
This mercy
has been over 2,000 years in coming but it is coming…..when the Giver comes and
sees fit to deliver it.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
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