THE CRUCIBLE

 

I sobbed yesterday through Elder Hale’s conference talk entitled “Mortality Works”, not because of any new fresh perspective, but because of the sheer, raw admittance that this life is incredibly hard.

I cried reflecting on my own life and the many, many times I wished I could be free of it and I learnt that it is ok that I felt this way. Over the years I had come to believe that I am a weak person because I wished for the sweet escape of death and freedom from this world. Yesterday I realized I am in actuality a strong person because I am still here.

I cried for every person on this earth who has endured suffering, beyond my understanding for I know some people have had experiences far worse than I have had. Most certainly for those who suffered in silence the effects of abuse and had no escape and no clear understanding as to why God was allowing them to suffer at the hands of another.

Certainly Elder Hale’s experience proves that sometimes, our trials are not just for our own ultimate gain but also for others as we stand as testaments and witnesses of God’s eventual deliverance and power to grant freedom.

Such unfair experiences, as Elder Hale was subjected to, enlarge the caverns of our hearts to embrace compassion for others. Through them we gain invaluable Christ-like traits such as forgiveness, understanding and mercy towards sinners and oppressors who unjustly afflict us.  

I cried at Elder Hale’s recollection of his mother and her difficult life and even more so of the unfair end of her life, because this is the ending I fear for myself. It’s the ending that my own mother had. She too had a difficult life, suffered from dementia and died alone in a nursing facility.

I cried when I read about the dream that Elder Hale had of his mother who was beautiful beyond his ability to describe now that she is in the spirit world awaiting ‘a glorious resurrection’ because of the valiant endurance of her mortality. This reward is something I aspire to, as we all should.

I cried the most for the Saviour who was flung into the bottomless pit of human suffering during His mortality for the sake of my soul. The endurance of the unfairness of His life is beyond my comprehension.

I too have experienced His healing power and deliverance through the crucible of my life which would have been impossible for me had He not suffered through Gethsemane and had not accepted the bitter cup that was given Him. Yes, because of Him, mortality works.

In our darkest hour, our wish to escape is honoured by the God who is the most acquainted with grief . His compassion is ever affixed for us and His desire to lift us higher ever present. He understands and He suffers with us through it all.

My close friend who has been through a crucible of her own has penned this beautiful poem which resonates with me and I hope it does with you too.

TAKE ME TO ANOTHER PLACE by Desley Innis:

Take me to another place

And let me rest awhile,

Let me feel the gentle sway

Of a new, immortal tide.

May I leave this Earthly space

For a hundred, thousand hours,

To run through grassy meadows

And smell the cosmic flowers.

 

I could stay forever,

A millennial of years,

Help me to escape, for now,

This veil of constant tears.

I will seek a lowly spot

To lay my weary head,

And leave behind

This restive world,

For a finite time at least,

Help me to attain, again,

A quiet, inner peace.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Peace In His Embrace by Greg Collins)