When I was
baptized at 18 years of age, I said to the missionaries who baptized me: “I
will never give a talk and I will never go on a mission”. Three months later I
was giving my first talk and when I turned 21 I knew I had to go on a mission. My
resistance was hard to overcome. I simply did not want to go. As my obstinacy
grew, it began to nurture criticism of the Church. I became troubled to the
point where I was driven to my knees. Shortly after my prayer, the confirmation
was given of what I already knew and was resisting so hard and I was reborn. My
attitude about everything changed and all my fears and concerns went away. I
fulfilled an honourable mission which strengthened my convert’s heart. That was
45 years ago. I did the right thing but I missed a very big lesson which is
this: when you are not in alignment with God, you are swimming against the
tide.
Like a lot
of people, I like to ride on a roller coaster of worrying over my life to the
point where I would periodically hit rock bottom in my mental health. Then God
would lift me up and give me clarity, and then I would walk on air until the
next wave of my cycle hit. The last wave was affecting me far too much until I
was enlightened to understand that I needed to step up on my ladder of faith. I
understood in that moment that this would solve everything I had concerns
about. As soon as I came to this understanding, my spirits rose and I
understood the path that was God’s purpose for me. I knew the direction I was
to take and I was stunned at the instant turn-around in my emotional well-being.
I also realized that I experienced this quick turn around every time God lifted
me up and I chose to follow His counsel.
Whatever it
is that is preventing you from being in alignment with God, it will always
produce fears, doubts, concerns, worries, and a myriad of other negative
emotions that tear us down. If you are in the grip of an addiction and sin, you
will feel a dislike of self and a barrier between you and God. When you are in
alignment, all this goes away. This is called peace. We had sufficient faith in
this earth life before we were born. We had faith that it could give us the
desired end and we had faith in ourselves that we would allow God to guide us
to that end. Now that we are here, it is time to allow Him to travel that road
with us and to save us from unnecessary turmoil that we inflict upon ourselves.
He will give us wisdom, He will give us peace, He will give us life eternal.
I
will look to Thee to lift me up
When
into the depths of sorrow
I
sink and comfort cannot find;
I
will look to Thee to lift me up
When
nothing makes sense
In
my troubled finite mind.
I
will look to Thee to lift me up
When
forsaken I happen to be;
I
will look to Thee to lift me up
When
trials seek to swallow me.
I
will look to Thee to lift me up
When
farewell I have to say,
Lift
me up with tender mercies
In
thine arms to gently lay.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Rescue Me by Yongsung Kim)
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