Paul, who considered himself ‘the least of the apostles’ and not worthy to be called such because he persecuted the church of God (1 Corinthians 15:9), stays with us long after we have studied his extensive gospel doctrine epistles, as a spiritual giant who outgrew his small physical stature. When I study his epistles I am amazed at the grand scale of his growth, the depth of his understanding of the doctrine of Christ and his repeated testimony of the only source of our salvation. He will forever be remember as a spiritual giant among men and here is why. Even though Paul testified about God’s grace vehemently and gave credit to it for what he became (1 Corinthians 15:10), he would have had to at one stage forgiven the man who misled him to offend God, and that man was himself. I believe he arrived at that place of self-forgiveness when he could in clear conscience say: “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7). Paul, after years of unrelenting, selfless service became a beacon of hope for all sinners.
It reminds me of another sinner who did the same, Alma the Younger. In his day, Alma the Younger became a living testament of the Saviour's power of deliverance. Not only because Christ forgave him for his sins and saved him from spiritual death but also because He freed him to become a great man. After Alma came out of his three days of torment he immediately began to preach of Christ's mercy and His power to save (Mosiah 27:32). Nowhere in the scriptures does it say that he moped around and agonised over his past sins and felt bad about himself. He became a great example of someone who had his guilt ‘taken away from his heart, through the merits of God’s Son’ (Alma 24:10). Alma, who went about with the intent to destroy the Church became Alma who led the Nephite armies in battle, who sat naked with Amulek in dungeons, who was spat upon by the unrepentant, who dumbfounded an anti-Christ, who baptised thousands of souls unto repentance (Alma 4:4-5), who the Lord in the end took up unto himself (Alma 45:19).
When you look at Paul and Alma, do you see broken men with a past or do you see powerful servants of the Lord? If you are still 'harrowed' up by your past sins, you are missing the person that you could be. If you believe you are no good, the Lord can make nothing of you. In this state you are not good to anyone, not to yourself, not to God, not to your fellowman. If you have repented of your sins but can't let them go, you are giving them more power than you are giving God. The adversary wants nothing more than for your sins to continue to have power over you, even after you have forsaken them, because he hopes one day you will return to them. Your forgiveness is not complete until you allow the Saviour to take away your remorse. The power of the Atonement can complete this process. The Saviour can extend mercy, He can forgive, He can make of you a new person, He can wipe your slate clean. Believe it, trust it, ask for it. The Lord has work for you to do and He is waiting.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Mortality by Joel Rea)
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