GOD'S PURPOSE, OUR SACRIFICE

Ever since Sheri L. Dew came to our attention through her calling on the Relief Society General Board,  I have wondered why she has never married. Surely living in the heart of Zion would mean a myriad of marriage opportunities. Sheri Dew has been a faithful member of the Church all her life and she has served God valiantly throughout her life. This must mean that the Lord would desire to bless her with a husband. Apparently Sister Dew was of the same opinion. She says that her solution to this heartbreak was to exercise so much faith that the Lord would have to give her what she wanted - which was a husband. She went on to say: "Believe me, if fasting and prayer and temple attendance automatically resulted in a husband, I'd have one" (Sheri L. Dew, You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory, BYU Speeches, December 2003). Well, the Lord didn't give Sister Dew a husband but He did heal her heart and taught her the value of the Atonement.

Pondering on Sister Dew's life and years of service, it became obvious to me why she has never been blessed with a husband and a family. This became very clear to me when I read this story she related at a BYU fireside:

"This summer I was invited to speak on the subject of the family to a gathering of United Nations diplomats. I agonized over what to say to such a diverse group. In the end I simply shared my personal experience. I explained that my parents had taught me as a child that personal virtue was essential for a happy marriage and family and that in my youth I had made promises to God that I would live a chaste life.

I then acknowledged that I was about to turn 50 and that, though I had not yet married, I had kept my promise. "It hasn't always been easy to stay morally clean", I admitted, "but it has been far easier than the alternative". I have never spent one second worrying about an unwanted pregnancy or disease. I have never had a moment's anguish because a man used and then discarded me. And when I do marry I will do so without regret. "So you see", I concluded, "I believe a moral life is actually an easier and a happier life".

I worried about how this sophisticated audience would respond to a message about virtue and abstinence, but much to my surprise they leapt to their feet in applause - not because of me but because the Spirit had borne witness of the truth of that message". (Sheri L. Dew, You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory, BYU Speeches, December 2003)

God needs willing servants. Men and women who would sacrifice everything, even their heart's desire for fulfillment of God's purposes. Sister Dew's speech, "You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory" was addressed to the BYU students back in 2003.  She explained to them how important they were in God's plan and had been selected especially to come to earth in this 11th hour to conquer the enemy of all righteousness. I wonder if Sister Dew realises that she was really speaking of herself during this talk for I suspect that she was born to lead others in believing that a life of purity is a better way.  In an age where sexual purity, not valued and sexual promiscuity reigning supreme, God needed someone strong and powerful to stand as a witness to the Church and the world that His ways are better that our ways.  I will go so far as to say that I believe that Sister Dew had covenanted in her pre-existence that she will sacrifice her desire for a husband so that she can combat the forces of evil during her life by her example.This is His purpose, this is her mission. And so it is for us. Sometimes we push and agonise and plead and complain, wanting the life we do not have when in reality we had covenanted that we will do something entirely different so that God's purposes can be accomplished through us.

The greatest scriptural example of this is Abraham who waited on the Lord until it seemed there was little chance that he would ever have the desire of his heart. Abraham desired the blessings of the 'fathers', meaning the priesthood which was passed down from father Adam to the rightful heirs or first born male children who were righteous enough to receive it.  These blessings of the priesthood he did not only desire for himself but for his posterity also which meant he would have to have an heir to pass the rights of the priesthood to. As time passed it became obvious that heir was not forthcoming. In desperation, his wife Sarah complied with the custom of the day which dictated that if a woman did not provide children for her husband in the first 10 years of marriage, she had to give him another wife so he would have offspring. She gave Hagar to Abraham and Hagar bore him a son but the Lord had promised Abraham a rightful heir to the blessings of the 'fathers' meaning the child would have to come through the first wife. So the promise was made and not fulfilled for 37 years. By this time Sarah, who was infertile to begin with was also well past the child bearing age.  Why such a long wait?  Why not give Sarah a son when she could have conceived normally, without divine intervention? Among other explanations that might come to mind,  Church Father Ambrose offered the most plausible one:  "An aged woman who was sterile brought (Isaac) to birth according to God's promise, so that we may believe that God has power to bring it about that even a virgin may give birth". (Didymus the Blind, On Genesis 2:41, in Oden, Ancient Christian Commentary, 2:45).

Usually the main focus in this story is on Abraham and little consideration is given to Sarah. Imagine being a married woman longing for a child. Many women find themselves in that boat. Now imagine being a woman in Sarah's time. Not only is your husband longing for a child which is his heart's desire but you have to give him another wife so she can fulfill your responsibility to give him children. How worthless would you feel? There was great stigma attached to being barren in Sarah's time. On top of that if you did not have a son, you were basically in a very precarious situation indeed. Sons had the responsibility to care for their mothers should their fathers not be around. As women were not providers and had no legal rights, they desperately needed sons. Even though Abraham was rich, Sarah did not stand to inherit his fortune. That honour would go to the nearest male relative if her husband had no sons by another woman. Sarah languished for 37 years in the waiting room of her heart so that a greater purpose can be fulfilled for she was required to pave the path of belief. The sacrifice sublime, the purpose priceless: "Sarah's miraculous conception, intentionally arranged by the Almighty as a miracle that had never been seen since the Creation, is surely one of the clearest similitudes of the birth of Him who would fulfill the promise to Abraham and Isaac that in their seed all nations of the earth would be blessed" (E. Douglas Clark, The Blessings of Abraham, Becoming a Zion People, p. 192). What an incredibly important role Sarah played and she lived up to it in every sense of the word.

One of the covenants we make in the temple is a covenant of sacrifice. We basically promise we will give our all for the kingdom of God and the establishment of Zion. Some may say that's a tall order. It's an order, however, in similitude of the sacrifice of the Son that God's purpose in Him might be fulfilled. And what is this purpose? To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man (Moses 1:39). When we stood in the grand council in pre-mortal life, we covenanted that we will be a part of this purpose (D&C 138:55,56), that we would labour for the salvation of the souls of men and sacrifice all that it would take to do so. This meant that we placed others before ourselves and had a strong desire to make the plan of salvation successful. I also believe we wanted to bring honour and glory to the Father as opposed to the one who wanted all glory for himself. This is what we voted for and what we fought for. I imagine Sheri Dew was there with her hand raised to the square and you and I stood beside her.

If your heart is filled with broken dreams and unfulfilled desires and more questions than you have answers for, do not be dismayed. God has a purpose for you and in time that purpose will reveal itself if you are faithful. The Saviour, as committed as He was to the Father, struggled with the concept of sacrifice also and asked for the cup to be passed from Him (Matt 26:39) but he did not shrink back and drank the bitter dregs anyway. In time the bitterness of your cup will be turned to sweetness in equal measure. Trust in the Saviour's ability to enable you to make your offering on the altar of sacrifice. If the Atonement was the ultimate sacrifice, it can empower us to lay our hearts down as a token of our faithfulness. Place your trust in it and seek its' power. You are a child of God bound by the covenant, a daughter, a son, a noble offspring of the Father of us all. God's purpose will be done through you and for you and in the end you will be crowned with glory and be granted thrones, principalities and dominions in the Celestial Kingdom of our Heavenly Father with the promise of eternal increase therein. You wanted this when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy. You were among that happy throng and your voice was heard. Honour it and be true to it.