LOVE

 

“I am struck by the similarity between the process of developing a testimony and the process of falling in love. Love and testimony are two of the most important human experiences, yet often we are unsure how we can be certain that either has come fully into our lives.

“In finding the love we seek during the courtship years, we often have in mind the personal qualities we are looking for. But even when we meet someone who has everything on our list (the test of reason), there may be something missing: the “spark”, that mysterious something that makes us FEEL love, not just think it (the test of feeling). Yet rational satisfaction and good feelings are still not enough.

“To know if this relationship is the real thing, we must give it some time (the test of experience). We must see how things go when the “new” wears off. We need to know how the relationship holds up under pressure, whether it grows and stirs, almost whether it takes on a life of its own. As it is in the search for love, so it is in the search for testimony…….through reason, feeling, and experience.”  (Bruce C.Hafen, “The Believing Heart”, p 23-4)

Out testimony is in essence, a courtship. Whether it will lead to marriage when the Saviour appears is something we are yet to see. The marriage depends on one thing: if “the spark” has passed the test of time. I often hear some converts say that they miss those early days of their Church membership: the excitement, the discovery of spiritual moments and doctrine, the motivation of Church involvement. I know it all because I have been through it. But so often the spark dulls over time and is sometimes even lost altogether. That’s when people leave.

The path is clear: “If thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.”  (Deuteronomy 4:29). For those who leave the seeking seems too much work.

The degree of our acceptance of Christ as our personal Saviour and our testimony of His Gospel is proportionate to our love for Him and vice versa. Seeking Christ and the truth does not end at baptism. It is just the beginning. How much we seek Him thereafter will determine how bright the spark is on the wedding day. It’s about the heart and about the love. Is it any wonder the Saviour compared our relationship with Him to a marriage covenant?

I followed all Your footsteps

And I sacrificed everything.

I did Your bidding no matter

What You asked of me.

I trusted, I had faith, I endured

All the pain that was given me.

I kept my love burning like a flame

Until I came to see the reality:

It is not my love, but Yours,

That is consuming me.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: His Love Fills My Heart by Greg Collins)

INDIVIDUAL ATONEMENT

 

 

I was riddled with guilt for many years following my divorce because my children no longer had a father in the home. I felt their every hurt, every mishap, every difficulty, every wrong choice was my fault. Then a wonderful friend shared her experience of parenthood and it helped change my perspective. This is what she said:

“I have often thought of my parental failing in the middle of the night. One night as I was thinking of these failings I thought that one day I will have to pay for them. I wanted to pay for them but as I thought that, the Saviour’s voice came into my mind: “I have already paid for them.” Tears of comfort whenever I think of this.”

I realized when I read this that there are sins and actions we cannot truly repent of or apply restoration to because they are in the past and cannot be changed. If we could not go back in time to fix things, and yet accountability would still stand, our whole salvation would be at peril. But luckily the Saviour’s Atonement covers it all and makes the salvation possible for each one.

When the Saviour appeared to the Nephites post resurrection, He invited them to feel His wounds ‘one by one’ because He died for each one individually and not for the masses collectively (3 Nephi 11:15). It was as if He was saying to them: I see you, I know your individual lives, personalities, strengths and failings, you each matter enough to deserve the price I paid.

Many years ago I sat in Stake Conference and while we sang “Redeemer of Israel” I saw myself in my mind doing missionary work in my pre-mortal life. I knew then that I was one of the Saviour’s strongest supporters. I know I was very converted to the Plan of Salvation and that I wanted exaltation. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Saviour could and would give me both. I was convinced of it and I was excited about it.

Now that I have experienced the fall of my nature, the difficulties of mortality, the isolation from God, the suffering, the sorrow, my inadequacies and insufficient strength to rise to above them, I have perfect clarity and understanding of what exactly the Saviour has done for me: the payment to justice, forgiveness of all my failings, mercy and power of grace to raise me to perfection of my soul, and to bridge the gap of time and space between me and the Father. Some days I get so overwhelmed by it that I lack the ability to express the magnitude of my gratitude for His infinite sacrifice which grants me life eternal, a promise of which I carried deep within my heart so long ago.

The closer I get to God, the keener I feel my inadequacies. I have reflected on many situations in my life and I know I cannot fix the past. I can only be better today and tomorrow. And I can do one more thing, the most important thing…..I can live in the deepest gratitude of my soul each and every day for the Saviour’s redemptive power and I can express it with love in my heart for Him, a desire to follow Him and commitment to honour Him.

I worshipped You in heaven

As my Saviour and my King,

I knew Your holy suffering

Would pay for everything.

Now I am here in my mortal frame

I am amazed at the price You paid

For the value of my name!

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: The Good Shepherd by Gabriel Heaton)

THE FELLOWSHIP

 

I awoke at 3 a.m. this morning because of the painful state of my body and a scripture of Apostle Paul came into my mind that speaks of the ‘fellowship of His sufferings’ (Philippians 3:20). This led me to recount all the lessons I have learnt since my experience with pain and how I am gaining a glimpse into the soul of Him who descended into the pit of human agony and suffered the effects of every infirmity known to man.

I turned to Philippians 3 and read the whole chapter. In my opinion this has always been one of the most important chapters in the New Testament and this is why:

Philippians 3:4-6: “If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more.”  Paul, who was the cream of the Jewish society, of the tribe of Benjamin, a “Hebrew of all Hebrews” as he called himself, and a stout Pharisee had a firm foundation in his life. He was sitting pretty. The Jewish law considered him blameless of all the misery he caused to humanity as he persecuted the Church, and by doing so he rose in Jewish estimation. He was climbing the ladder of respect and leadership. But something significant happened to Paul.

Philippians 3:7-10: “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ….for whom I have suffered the loss of ALL things, do count them but dung that I may win Christ….that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings…..”

Paul’s spiritual awakening brought the realisation that all things he lost in the worldly sense were nothing compared to the excellent knowledge of Christ that he gained. All else became as nothing compared to knowing the Saviour. This knowledge became embedded in his heart through the suffering he himself went through for the sake of the God that he persecuted.

Paul lost ALL, as he said: his social and religious standing, his Jewish family, his safety and security… but in reality he gained everything. Imagine the isolation and the severing of all he knew up to the time of his conversion. Volumes could be written about Paul and his life, the change in his soul, and his relationship with the God he found and served until his death.

Following his encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus, Paul was without sight fasting for 3 days, exacting the change of his heart that repentance brings. Think about the significance of 3 days…..Paul was also 33 when this happened. Think about that too. When the Lord said to Ananias to go find Paul that he might rise to his calling, this was His reasoning:

“For I will show him how great things he must suffer for my name’s sake.” And suffer he did: he was scourged and persecuted by the Jews, beaten, stoned, and shipwrecked during which he suffered hunger and nakedness, imprisoned three times by the Romans and killed by them in Rome at the age of 68 (Acts 14:19; 17:5-10,13,14; 2 Corinthians 11:24-27). I rather think ‘the excellency of the knowledge of Christ’ was born out of ‘the fellowship of His sufferings’…..

Now that I have experienced a minute portion of human suffering, I cannot but help feel the kinship with Christ who has suffered it ALL and understand a bit deeper who He really is.  If we have achieved nothing else in this life but this understanding, we have arrived because NOTHING else matters. Knowing Christ makes us love Christ and loving Christ makes us follow Christ….all the way to eternal glory.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Designed by UpliftYour Feed)

BUILT ON LOVE

 

I awoke early this morning with thoughts of the Second Coming. I reflected on how much warning to prepare we are getting from the Church leaders.  It occurred to me that some of us are prepared even now and are anxious to meet the Saviour while some of us will be desperately rushing about to ‘take up our cross and follow Him’ in hopes that our ‘death-bed repentance’ will consider us prepared.

To take up one’s cross means to forsake the world, deny yourself all ungodliness and every worldly lust and to keep His commandments (JST Matthew 16:25-29). I wonder if this can be done effectively in one day, one week, one year even. It’s like that silly question we are asked in Sunday School sometimes: “If you knew that Jesus was coming tomorrow, what would you do today?” 

What could you do today??? Nothing!!! What could you possibly accomplish in one day that would make up for years of not doing it??? It takes time for a man to evolve into who he should be and even longer to become like Christ….and this is what the aim is, that ‘when He appears we shall be like Him’ (Moroni 7:48).

To become like the Saviour, it is imperative that we get to know Him. Consider the parable of the Ten Virgins. The five foolish virgins ran off to buy oil for their lamps at the very last minute before the bridegroom came. They considered that only the oil was needed for entrance to the feast. In reality, there was much more….. they were meeting the bridegroom who said to them: “Ye know me not” (JST Matthew 25:11 or Matthew 25:12, footnote a)….and if you don’t know me, how can you be with me???

Elder Bednar outlined what is needful for us to come to know the Saviour: 1. Exercising Faith In Him; 2. Following Him; 3. Serving Him; 4. Believing Him (“If Ye Had Known Me” October GC 2016)

I have pondered on the requirements for the entrance to the wedding feast and wondered what would be at the root of them. I think it has to do with the Saviour comparing His coming to  marriage. What is marriage built upon? Love.

“He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me…..if a man love me, he will keep my words; and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” (John 14:21-23)

Everything Elder Bednar suggested would develop in us love for Christ. How long do you think it would take us to accomplish that? A week, a month, a year? How about one day???

He will come and He will expect the bride to be ready….and He will know who loves Him…..for God will not be mocked…..

I would gladly give you some oil

Your empty lamp to fill,

If you could glean the sweat

From my furrowed brow

As I worked on the oil press

So diligently until now.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Filling Her Lamp by Dan Burr)

LOVE UNFEIGNED

 

There is a word in Hebrew which is difficult to render in English. It is usually translated as ‘steadfast love’. The Hebrew word is HESED. It is a covenant word that refers to the faithfulness or loyal love that binds two people together in covenant.

This love is motivated by an inner loyalty which arises out of the relationship itself and not by legal obligation. Such covenant love has the quality of constancy, firmness and steadfastness. It is a love you have for another that you would never break because of deep loyalty you feel towards them.

I am feeling today the responsibility of my covenant that I made with the Saviour in my pre-mortal life. Perhaps because I am struggling presently with my mortality and feeling very inadequate. My patriarchal blessing says I made promises in pre-earth life but I feel deep down it was a covenant and not just a flighty promise that I made to stay faithful to Him and the cause of salvation.

It has always fascinated me that the Saviour presents His relationship to His Church in a marital setting (2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:7-8; 21:2,9). At times I have thought it strange that He will be the bridegroom and the Church His bride at the Second Coming….until I came to understand that this is about love. That those who truly and undeniably love Him will be like a bride coming to the wedding with love unfeigned. She will be bound to the bridegroom by HESED.

Hosea speaks of Israel of the Old Testament as a fickle woman that lacks steadfastness and trustworthiness of true covenant love. He describes Ephraim as ‘a silly dove without heart’ (Hosea 7:11). In Hosea’s ‘vivid figure, Israel’s HESED was like a transient morning cloud, or like the morning dew that evaporates quickly (Hosea 6:4)’  (Old Testament Student Manual comments for Hosea 6:6).

The only way to understand HESED is to understand God’s love for the House of Israel. The scriptures are replete with message of love from the Saviour toward us: we are chosen to be a special people above all people upon the face of the earth (Det 7:6); He would sacrifice others for Israel (Isaiah 43:1-7); He has redeemed us because we are His (Isaiah 43:1-3); Israel is ‘the apple of His eye’ (Det 32:9,10; Zechariah 2:8; Psalm 17:8). Does this not make you feel special?

And this is the pinnacle of His love: Even though we often wander and break our covenant with Him, the Saviour will NEVER break His covenant with us, His people (Deuteronomy 4:31; Leviticus 26:44,46; Isaiah 49:15,16; 2 Kings 13:23). And this is why: “I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands….” (Isaiah 49:16).

This is HESED.

Such love as Yours

Burning bright in my heart,

I will forever know.

Through highs and lows,

Through depths unknown,

Its flame I will carry with me

Wherever I go.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Your Faith Has Saved You by Randy Riemel)