A FORGIVING HEART PART 1

 

 

Losing support of someone close to you and suffering betrayal at their hands is a terrible experience. Even though the Saviour was fully in control of His death (John 10:17-18), that betrayal sealed with a kiss in the Garden must have stung bitterly (Luke 22:27,28; Mark 14:44,45).

 

Considering the persecution and betrayal that came to Joseph from within the Church and the men he associated with closely, I conclude that he would have been very familiar with such a sting. Two in particular were W.W. Phelps and Oliver Cowdery. I am always amazed about Oliver because he was a scribe, an Elder, and a witness. He and Joseph shared sacred privileges together which would have created a strong bond between them.

 

Oliver Cowdery received priesthood authority from angelic ministers, was one of the Three Witnesses of the Book of Mormon plates, helped supervise the publication of the Book of Mormon, was a founding member of the Church on April 6, 1830, led a group on a mission to American Indian settlements, served as the Assistant President of the Church and an Assistant Counselor to the First Presidency, assisted in the publication of the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, and witnessed the appearance of Jesus Christ and angelic ministers in the Kirtland Temple.

 

It would seem that Oliver had suffered some terrible blows in life. His mother died before his third birthday and he lived for long periods of time with his relatives. After he obtained his education, he came to western New York on a teaching post near Palmyra. There he met the Smith family and was spiritually guided to become Joseph’s scribe.

 

Oliver also married and had six children out of which only one survived past early childhood. His wife Elizabeth and the daughter Maria Louise died two days apart and were buried together in 1892. He had no other descendants.

 

A year after the Kirtland Temple opening, the failure of the Kirtland Safety Society Bank dealt a crushing blow to Oliver’s finances and he reacted by pursuing his own enterprise rather than continuing to consecrate his property to the Church. From there it was all downhill. He accused the leaders of the Church of mismanaging funds and he spread rumours that Joseph had committed adultery. The High Council investigated his allegations, and charges that were made against him and ultimately excommunicated him.

 

It would have been a terrible blow to Joseph to be betrayed by such a close friend. Nevertheless, he saw Oliver as a prodigal son and was anxious that he repent and return. At one stage he instructed his clerk: 'I wish you would write to Oliver Cowdery and ask him if he hasn't eaten husks long enough'." (Joseph Fielding Smith, "Doctrines of Salvation", 1:227)

 

Some seven years later, Oliver admitted his disaffection had resulted mostly from aggressive Latter-Day Saints in Missouri who were threatening him and not from any personal misgivings with the leaders of the Church. He had had enough of eating husks of the world and wanted to return to the fellowship of the Church.

 

Joseph received a letter from Oliver Cowdery in Carthage Jail just hours before he was killed. He encouraged the Quorum of the Twelve to re-admit him into the Church and Oliver was re-baptised. He made plans to be re-united with the Saints in Utah but he never made it. His health declined and he died in 1850 before he could travel west. He was 44 years old.

 

What fascinates me is Joseph’s forgiving heart. It’s difficult enough to be cut off from someone you were close to but to have that person slander your name is a double blow.

 

Sometime in our life, we might lose trust and support from someone close to us. Our forgiveness, even when not asked for, might be their only path to salvation. Usually, betrayals are born out of personal misfortunes or deep issues we might not even be aware of.

 

We might not know what makes people do what they do, but the Saviour knows and because He knows He can pave the path to forgiveness. We only see the outside while he sees the inside. He understands us completely while still holding us responsible for our actions.

 

The Saviour’s ability to forgive is much greater than ours. It’s a reservoir we can draw from by virtue of our discipleship……but more of that in Part 2.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: Joseph and Oliver Pray (D&C 13) by Del Parson)

AN ORDINANCE OF LOVE

As Jesus sat at supper with His disciples prior to His fated suffering, He instituted the sacrament through which they could remember Him and through which they could covenant to keep His commandments on the condition of love. Such was the theme of the last supper of His mortal life. In John's account of the Last Supper in chapters 13-15 Jesus used the word 'love' 20 times in 14 verses. This made it clear indeed that what He was about to do for them through His infinite sacrifice was a token of love and should be a token of love forever more. Then the admonition to all who would accept that love through the emblems of sacrament: "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you" (John 15:12); "...this do in remembrance of me" (Luke 22:19).

One might ask why the Lord chose the Last Supper as a discourse on love. What to us became The Last Supper and the institution of the sacrament we observe to this day, was in actuality Jesus' last Passover meal or the feast of unleavened bread which was an ancient festival that commemorated the salvation of Israel from bondage in Egypt. The Passover had been kept by Israelites for generations as a token of the Lord's love for them: "Because  the Lord loved you...hath the Lord brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you out of the house of bondmen, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt" (Deut. 7:8). When Jehovah freed the Israelites from Egyptians, He freed them from physical bondage of slavery and likewise from spiritual bondage by giving them laws and commandments which with the passing of time they had great difficulty in keeping. The atoning sacrifice which Jesus was about to perform for Israel following the last Passover was to free them once more from physical and spiritual bondage, physical being the sting of death and spiritual being the pathway to eternal life through the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. As the Jewish day ends and begins at sunset, thousands of Paschal lambs were killed on the day of the Passover signifying that the lamb was the great and last sacrifice. That same day, before the sun set again, Jesus hung on the cross, in realisation of that significance, the offering of His body grounded in ultimate love for "greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

"Before Jesus introduced the ordinance of the sacrament, He taught His disciples more about love. In order for them to understand the sacrament, they had to first understand the basic principle of love" (Perry, L. Tom, Why Call Ye Me Lord, And Do Not The Things Which I Say?, Ensign Nov 1984). The Lord emphasized several times that only those who are obedient to his commandments truly understand what it is to love Him and others, because the commandments are principles of love. The commandments of God enjoin us to love him, others, and ourselves. Keeping the commandments of God enable us to join together in love as eternal families. Without obedience to these principles of love, there is no eternal life" (Breck England, NT Lesson 23, Love One Another As I Have Loved You".

Jesus predicted that in our day people will not keep the commandments and because 'iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold' (Matt 24:12). But more than that, the love of many within their own families shall wax cold and brother shall rise against brother, and father against the son, and children against their parents (Mark 13:12). We see evidence of this constantly in media where families are torn and at war with one another; where hatred abounds instead of love; where family feuds cause generations to foster animosity and breed bitterness, resentment and ill will; and where blood is thinner than water. The Church is not exempt from this. There we encounter hypocrisy where some members, to be seen of men, are more courteous, loving and kind to other Church members than they are to their own families; where parents allow familiarity to breed disrespect between each other and their children; where parents mete abuse; and where children are so disobedient to their parents that instead of havens their homes become battlegrounds. It has been said 'you hurt the most those you love the most'. Why is it that we are more mindful of hurting the feelings of our friends and strangers than we are of hurting our families? If we are at odds with any family members we will not be fit for the kingdom. Our family members are those that count the most, we cannot be saved in the Kingdom of God without them in the sense that if we harbour unforgiveness, hatred or ill will toward them. I feel that we will be held accountable for any issues we have caused or pain we have inflicted that we do not seek to rectify. In extreme cases where abuse has been involved, there might need to be professional mediation to bring the perpetrator to repentance and the victim to healing.

Most importantly, if we are not bound in love, we cannot hope to have the Lord's spirit with us always as it is promised us through the token of the sacrament. When we are not bound in love to our family members, no matter what their feelings are towards us, we are not fully worthy to partake of Christ's flesh and blood through the sacredness of the sacrament for that which was wrought in love should be partaken in love. No man can confess to fully love God when he does not love his fellow beings for when there is an absence of love, more often than not there is a presence of adverse feelings which are not worthy of true disciples of Christ. Regarding this President Joseph Fielding Smith Jr said the following: "If any of the members are not in good standing; if they have in their hearts any feeling of hatred, envy, or sin of any kind, they should not partake of these emblems. If there are any differences or feelings existing between brethren, these differences should be adjusted before the guilty parties partake; otherwise they will eat and drink unworthily and bring on them the condemnation spoken of by Paul. We should see that our hearts and hands are clean and pure. (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:343)"

The importance of cherishing and honouring family relationships can be seen through the following story:

"Some time ago a friend of mine related an experience that I should like to pass on to you. He said:

'My father's cousin and my father lived in the same community and were competing in the construction business. There grew up over the years a very keen and bitter rivalry between them. This was triggered in the beginning in the bidding of construction contracts, and later in our city political affairs where they opposed each other in very spirited elections. Our immediate families inherited this situation upon the death of my father, for we boys seemed to take over where Dad left off. It was quite a strain on the members of his family and ours even to be civil to one another, even in our Church callings where he served as bishop of one ward and I in another, and later in the high council where we were both members. When we came together it seemed that Satan took over, and I am sure he did, for haven't we been told that where contention is, the Spirit of the Lord is not? 

This situation continued to fester. Suddenly I found myself with a call to put aside all worldly things and go to preside over a mission. This was a thrilling experience to contemplate, and yet I subconsciously had a most uneasy feeling about it. I kept asking myself: 'Are you really worthy to accept such an important call?' I was living the Word of Wisdom, I was a full tithe paper, I was faithful in all my Church activities, I was morally clean, and yet this uneasy feeling persisted. I set about immediately to get my business and personal affairs in a condition where others could handle them when we were gone. While returning home from my office one afternoon, it really happened. I didn't hear a voice, but as clearly as if a voice spoke to me something said: 'You must go to your father's cousin and get things straightened out. You cannot go on this mission and teach the gospel of love when this terrible feeling exists between you.' 

I drove to his home, and with great fear and trepidation went up and rang the doorbell. There was no answer. After waiting a few minutes I went back to my car and said silently, 'Lord, I made the attempt. I am sure this will be acceptable.' But it wasn't. This uneasy feeling still persisted. I prayed earnestly about it. The next day as I sat in a funeral service, my cousin came in and sat across the aisle from me. The Spirit moved me to ask him if I could see him at his home after the service. He agreed. This time I went with calmness and tranquility in my soul because I had asked the Lord to prepare the way for me.

When I rang the doorbell he invited me into the living room and congratulated me on my mission call. We talked a few minutes about things in general, and then it happened. I looked at him with the feeling of love, which replaced all the old bitterness, and said: 'I have come to ask forgiveness for anything I have ever said or done that has tended to divide us and our families.' At this point tears came into our eyes, and for a few minutes neither of us could say a word. This was one time when silence was more powerful than words. In a few minutes he said: 'I wish I had come to you first.' I replied: 'The important thing is that it is done, not who initiated it.' At this moment we had a rich spiritual experience, which caused us to purge our lives and our souls of those things which had separated us, which has resulted in our having proper family relationships. Now I could go on my mission and teach the true meaning of love, because for the first time in my life I had experienced its deepest dimension, and now I could honestly say that there wasn't a person in the world that I didn't love and appreciate. Since that day my life has never been the same, for it was then that I learned in a most positive way as I had never understood before the injunction of the Master to his disciples when he said: 'A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another' (John 13:34) (N. Eldon Tanner in CR, April 1967, pp 105-6, The Life and Teachings of Jesus and His Apostles, p. 161)

When Judas left the Passover feast to pursue the path of betrayal, Jesus said to His disciples that He was with them only for a little while longer (John 13:33). Peter was so sorrowful that he said: "Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death" (Luke 22:33). We can imagine the Saviour saying: "No Peter, that won't be necessary, 'whither I go, ye cannot come' (John 13:33). All that is required of you is to partake of this token of love in remembrance of me that you may love one another as I have loved you." (John 13:34)

"Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end." (John 13:1)

A CALL TO FAITHFULNESS

"And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord. So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim....." (Hosea 1:2)

"John was a thoughtful, kind young man, affectionate, with a frank and open manner. He sincerely tried to obey the Lord's commandments and found honest contentment in the joys of family life. Gayle, his wife, was young, attractive, high-spirited, but inclined toward more worldly interests and activities. The society in which they lived was, in general, one of affluence and materialism. People seemed preoccupied with temporal gain, social status, entertainment, and self-gratification. Religious leaders were concerned about the apparent breakdown in family life and moral standards.

In the early years of their marriage, John and Gayle were blessed with children, first a boy and then a girl; but Gayle seemed uninterested in her domestic responsibilities. She longed for glamour and excitement in her life and was frequently away from home at parties and entertainments, not always with her husband. In her vanity, Gayle encouraged and responded to the attentions of other men until eventually she was unfaithful to her marriage vows.

Throughout, John encouraged Gayle to appreciate the joys of family life and experience the rewards of observing the laws of God. He was patient and kind, but to no avail. Shortly after the birth of a third child, a son, Gayle deserted her husband and children and joined her worldly friends in a life of self-indulgence and immorality. John, thus rejected, was humiliated and brokenhearted.

Soon, however, the glamour and excitement that had attracted Gayle turned to ashes. Her so-called friends tired of her and abandoned her. Then each successive step was downward, her life becoming more and more degraded. Eventually she recognized her mistakes and realized what she had lost, but could see no way back. Certainly John could not possibly love her still. She felt completely unworthy of his love and undeserving of her home and family.

Then one day, passing through the streets, John recognized Gayle. Surely he would have been justified in turning away, but he didn't. As he observed the effect of her recent life, all too evident, a feeling of compassion came over him - a desire to reach out to her. Learning that Gayle had incurred substantial debts, John repaid them and then took her home.

Soon John realized, at first with amazement, that he still loved Gayle. Out of his love for her and her willingness to change and begin anew, there grew in John's heart a feeling of merciful forgiveness, a desire to help Gayle overcome her past and to accept her again fully as his wife.

Through his personal experience there arose in John another profound awareness, a realization of the nature of God's love for us, his children. Though we disregard his counsel, break his commandments, and reject him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, he wants us to seek him out and he will accept us. (Elder Ronald E. Poelman, "God's Love For Us Transcends Our Transgressions", Ensign May 1982, pp 27-28)


John and Gayle's story is a modern day version of the story of Hosea and his wife Gomer. It is a story of betrayal but the greatest love story found in all the scriptures. There is great debate amongst scholars as to whether this story is a pure metaphor or whether it was in fact true. Whether Hosea was in reality commanded of the Lord to marry a harlot is of lesser importance than the message of his story. The story might appear problematic but the message is one of simplicity and great importance to us as God's children.

 
The story of Hosea and his wife is symbolic of God's great love, mercy and forgiveness. The story is set during Hosea's ministry from about 755 B.C. to 725 B.C., at the height of Israel's idolatry. Through the story of Hosea and Gomer, his wife, the Lord uses the medium of marriage as a symbolism of covenant of love and faithfulness between him and the nation of Israel that has spiritually destroyed itself and is without doubt to be scattered. Israel, represented by Gomer, the bride, who has forsaken the covenant of her marriage, has turned to other gods. Hosea, the faithful husband, represents the God of Israel, who through his loving kindness seeks to entice his wife back to the safety of the covenant. Pained by the betrayal of his bride, Israel, whom he has loved and nurtured and protected, the Lord laments: "O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself; but in me is thine help" (Hosea 13:9). It is hard to imagine with what heaviness of heart the Lord uttered these words. It is just as difficult to imagine his unfailing willingness to extend mercy through forgiveness. Some form of the word mercy in the book of Hosea appears 12 times. The word justice does not appear once. The Lord would have us know always that his mercy can meet the demands of justice when we have strayed from his loving kindness and that in the last days He will gather the scattered Israel to once again be her God: "And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy....." (Hosea 2:23) and "...I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord" (Hosea 2:19-20)

Gomer, the unfaithful wife, is an exact portrayal of both ancient and modern Israel. After she has entered into the marriage covenant, she leaves her husband and 'turns back to her adulteries because of the two governing sins she refuses to forsake: lust for riches and sexual immorality' (Breck England, Old Testament Lesson 34, "I Will Betroth Thee Unto Me in Righteousness", Meridian Magazine). These two sins are the prevalent, corroding forces of the moral fibre of our society. Consider the demoralizing practice of prostitution that encompasses both sex and money. The pursuit of both riches and sexual immorality presents itself as a cankering threat to the institution and covenant of marriage, as it more often than not results in crime, addiction, disease, infidelity, homosexuality, divorce, abuse, pride, adultery, fraud, and the list goes on. I have just recently finished reading a book which represented with shocking accuracy the society of this 21st century that we live in. Within one family of five could be seen effects of sexual abuse, lesbianism, alcoholism, divorce, sexual promiscuity and murder. It sounds over the top but the story of this modern day family makes it absolutely plausible and leaves the reader wondering if things could get any worse. In our attempt to emancipate ourselves from God and his laws we have shot ourselves in the foot. We have become a society who has no desire to know God and is instead investing all its energy in self-gratification which is corroding the spiritual nature of our existence and our purpose here as children of God.

Yet the God of Israel will not forsake us and leave us to utter destruction. He has provided the way, He has given hope. The steps have been taken, the Gospel restored, the instructions given and the law of the harvest begun: "If you sow seeds of righteousness, you will harvest righteousness. If you sow thorns and corruption, you will reap thorns and corruption. A prophet of the Lord said, 'For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind' (Hosea 8:7). If you sow seeds of purity, you will harvest purity. If you sow seeds of petting, immorality, and promiscuity, you will harvest destruction to your godlike attributes. If you sow seeds of pure love, you will receive pure love. If you love God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, you will reap God's love. If you would obtain celestial glory, you must plant into your heart and character God's heavenly ways. Jesus admonished in these words: 'For if you will that I give unto you a place in the celestial world, you must prepare yourselves by doing the things which I have commanded you and required of you' (D&C 78:7). If you want a celestial life, you will have to plant celestial seeds. Pure religion comes from God. If you want pure religion in your life, you must plant the gospel of Jesus Christ in your heart. Remember, 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he'. If you think as a celestial being, you will be a celestial being. If you think as a child of God should think, you will be a member of his celestial family." (Elder Bernard P. Brockbank, "Be Worthy of Celestial Exaltation", BYU Speeches of the Year, 1974, pp 386-87)

We are modern day Israel the Lord is continually enticing back into His arms. He seeks us from all corners of the world, desiring to bring us back to the safety of the fold. We are the lost sheep and He the ever loving Shepherd. To those who hear his voice and repent, the Lord guarantees mercy and the exalting blessings of Abraham. In the day of gathering, Israel shall become the sons of the living God for the promise is this: "Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be as the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured nor numbered; and it shall come to pass, that in the place where it was said unto them, Ye are not my people, there it shall be said unto them, Ye are the sons of the living God" (Hosea 1:10)