When I was a very
enthusiastic convert in the Church at 18 years of age, I was convinced that if
I was obedient to the Gospel teachings, my life would be a dream, a picture of
perfection, devoid of hardship and pain. This of course, never happened.
Very seldom do we reflect
on our first parents to remind ourselves of the reality of life. I read an
amazing poem this week, which left me in tears, written by Arta Romney Ballif
called “Lamentation” in which she imagined Eve’s experience of losing her two
sons. The poem depicts her cries for understanding and through it, her quest to
know God, something we all experience. The poem is long but I have edited it lightly
for the sake of this post:
God
said, “BE FRUITFUL, AND MULTIPLY”
And
God said, “I WILL GREATLY MULTIPLY THY SORROW”
Thy
sorrow, sorrow, sorrow –
I
have gotten a man from the Lord
I
have traded the fruit of the garden for fruit of my body
For
a laughing bundle of humanity.
Adam,
where are the boys?
Where
is Abel?
He
is long caring for his flocks.
Are
the ewes lambing in this storm?
Why
your troubled face, Adam? Are you ill?
Why
so pale, so agitated?
Dead? What is dead?
Merciful God!
I
am trying to understand.
You
said, “Abel is dead.”
But
I am skilled with herbs….
Herbs
will not heal? Dead?
And
Cain? Where is Cain?
Listen
to that thunder.
Cain
cursed?
God
said, “A fugitive and a vagabond?”
But
God can’t do that.
They
are my sons, too.
I
gave them birth in the valley of pain.
This
is his home
This
the soil he loved
Where
he toiled for golden wheat
For
tasseled corn.
To
the hill country?
Quick,
we must find him
I
worry, thinking of him wandering
With
no place to lay his head.
Cain
cursed? A wanderer, a roamer?
Abel,
my son dead?
And
Cain, my son, a fugitive?
Two
sons Adam, we had two sons
Both
– oh, Adam – multiply sorrow.
Dear
God, why?
Tell
me again about the fruit.
Please
tell me again,
Why?
“Ultimately, the gospel of Jesus Christ was not given us primarily to PREVENT our pain. The gospel was given us to HEAL our pain. That is the promise of the scriptures: the Atonement not only heals us – it can sanctify our trying experiences to our growth.
“Our doctrine is not just that adversity can help us learn and grow; rather, it is that Christ, because of what flows from the redemption, gives us the power to make weak things strong, to sift beauty from the ashes of our lives.”
-
Bruce C. Hafen, “The Belonging Heart”, p
90-1
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Eve by Rose Datoc Dall)
