TO KNOW YOURSELF

“Why did the Lord ask such things of Abraham? Because, knowing what his future would be and that he would be the father of an innumerable posterity, He was determined to test him. God did not do this for His own sake for He knew by His foreknowledge what Abraham would do; but the purpose was to impress upon Abraham a lesson to enable him to attain unto knowledge that he could not obtain in any other way.

“That is why God tries all of us. It is not for His own knowledge for He knows all things beforehand. He knows all your lives and everything you will do. But He tries us for our own good that WE MAY KNOW OURSELVES; for it is most important that a man should know himself.”

-          George Q. Cannon, “Gospel Truth, comp. Jerreld L. Newquist, 2 Vols [1974] 1:113

I can bear witness of this truth. I was drowning in despair. It was a test of my faith I did not expect and I wondered if God understood that He was asking of me more than I could give. I had gone through some tests before and I was weary. I had begun to believe this one was beyond me. To make matters worse, the heavens were silent. No explanation, no help.

I began to lose my desire for eternal life and returning to God’s presence, something I had arrived to over the years that exceeded every other desire I had. When you lose hope of something better at the end of the tunnel you are in, life becomes pretty bleak. Losing faith and hope in eternal life which was my over-riding goal, gave me only one alternative, darkness. It was suffocating me.

One morning I made it to the bathroom crying and begging God to send me something or someone to lift me, to help in some way….. and then I caught my reflection in the mirror. I could barely recognise myself. My face was haggard from the despair it wore. This is what came to me: “this isn’t me, not the me I once knew. I am not this person. I am strong and fearless…….”

I left my bathroom that morning crying again because God did send me someone….He sent me ME. And I understood the purpose of the test…..I had somehow over time felt beaten by life and had stopped believing in myself. I struggled with a will to live. But the test….what I considered a calamity, dug deep into my soul and showed me who I truly am and I saw HIM at the end of the tunnel once again.

So God tested Abraham so Abraham would know himself and his commitment to God. If you find yourself standing at a precipice one day, know that the moment of your decision will show you who you are and you will see the Saviour at the end of the dark tunnel where He stands beckoning…..

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: His Hand Is Stretched Out Still by Yongsung Kim)