I have taught several lessons over the years on the gifts of the spirit as outlined in D&C 46. The last time I taught about it, I learnt that besides their purpose to enrich the Church spiritually, they are an incredible tool for overcoming weaknesses.
I got so convinced by this last lesson that the gifts of the spirit should be sought for this purpose that I started to wonder if one of them could help me with a long-standing weakness I had.
As I pondered about it I realised I didn't know which gift was needed for me to have for this particular weakness so I decided to pray about this and ask which gift I should seek. I knew the answer that came to me was straight from above because I would never have come up with it in those words on my own.
I have a very strong sense of justice which sometimes robs me of ability to show mercy. Add to that a somewhat dogmatic manner which created clashes over the years with people, necessitating later apologies. This weakness caused me to stand up for myself even in less important situations such as customer service.
The gift I was told to pray for was the gift of 'forbearance and self-restraint'. As I contemplated this definition of the gift that I needed, I realised I had other weaknesses that could be overcome with this gift. It was rather humbling to discover I had so many weaknesses that they could be grouped into a whole category!
I thought obtaining this gift was going to be a simple matter of praying for it and one day I would wake up with it under my belt ready to take on the world. Unfortunately, it didn't prove to be that simple. I prayed many weeks for this gift and one day I had another 'customer service' incident that left me feeling less than good about myself. I was wrongly done by and I gave as good as I got.
I walked away thinking I really could have used the gift of forbearance and self-restraint that day and wondered when I was going to get it. As I thought about it, I realised what I had been doing wrong. When I remembered, I prayed for this gift during my prayers and then I would forget about it. I realised this is not calling upon God for help at all. I remembered the scripture in Ether 12:27.
I realised I lacked humility and faith in 'receiving' this gift. I could see it was not enough to just pray for the gift in my daily prayers. What I needed to do was humbly call upon God for my gift to be active in the moment that I needed it and then act in faith as if I had it. In other words, some effort on my part was needed as well.
I realise it can be very hard to make yourself call on God in the moment when you are facing your weakness instead of giving into it there and then. The gravity of habit is mind blowing.
Perseverance can be a hard road because overcoming weaknesses, even with God’s help, is a process and not a race run in one day. It is a race run EVERY day for as long as it takes, until one day that weakness becomes a strength.
When a weak link in your character becomes a force for good and blesses not just yourself but the lives of others, you know you have arrived.
The longer it
takes to overcome something, the more steadfast is the change in our nature and
less likely the relapse. Everything takes time in mortality. So what drives us
to make the effort? When we no longer want to be the person we see in the
mirror…..
I
will scatter my prayers upward
Like
birds in flight reaching for Thy throne;
I will seek Thy strength
I
will surrender my soul.
- CATHRYNE ALLEN
(Art: Divine Faith by Greg Collins)
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