HE KNEW WHO WOULD

 

I recently reflected on my life and all the trials I have endured and I was somewhat amazed. My ego told me that God knew I could do it but then a higher truth presented itself and that was that God knew that I WOULD do it. 

 

Some years ago I was feeling burdened with my life and I wept as I prayed asking for forgiveness that I wasn’t a better person. A voice came into my mind that said this: “I knew you would struggle in this life and because you were so valiant in your testimony of Me in your pre-existence, I gifted you my Atonement”. Some years before this revelation, I had undergone the biggest trial of my life that drove me to study about the Atonement and call upon its power to rescue me. My petition was granted, my heart was healed and I was gifted the power to forgive and love the person who changed the course of my life. My life has never been the same since. The trials did not stop but the source of power to survive them has always been undeniable. 

 

It is my conviction that God is more concerned with our willingness than our capability because by His Atonement He has provided access to strength to overcome, endure and triumph. He makes up for what we cannot do of ourselves to survive our testing ground. I was only a youth when I joined the Church against my parents’ wishes. It cost me the security of my family as I was forced to leave home. Following my mission I married a returned missionary in the temple. Eleven years later I was a divorced mother of two. What followed was a thorny path of single motherhood with a wayward child which took me to hell and back. Now my children are gone, I am alone facing continuous difficulties but I am in the best place spiritually I have ever been in my life. I know I was given this life because the Saviour knew I would find Him here. I am not telling you this because I am wonderful but because HE is.

 

The Saviour knew His sheep long before they graced this earth. He knew who would honour His sacrifice and receive His saving grace. He knew who would be WILLING to do it. We, the willing sheep, did not flinch when we sustained Him as the power of our deliverance. We knew very well that we did not have the capacity to survive mortality on our own. We carried this conviction with us into physical birth. Stand strong and be willing and He will enlarge your capacity to endure and then you will sing praise to His holy name and the pains He suffered for you. Embrace your cherished heart, you were worth it.

 

I pledged my life into Thy hands

When by example You showed me how;

You promised me strength my trials to endure

When I was with You and even now.

You dried my tears when I barely coped

And carried me when I could walk no more;

You fed me truths I needed to know

And nurtured my flight into the unknown.

I found You at every turn

In the shadow of my heart;

With eager haste I approach Thy throne

And offer my meagre part.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: The Lamb by Stephen Sawyer)