I saw a show recently in which a life of nobility and honour was sullied by misconception and wrongful judgment of a person’s character. This misconception affected a whole generation for many years and cost someone the right to a better life. Grant you, this was only a show but I was fascinated by the possible reality of such a story. I come from a European lineage where an incident of judgment and lack of forgiveness within family members can be a devastating reality that is passed on from one generation to another. Historically, such unresolved family situations have spread so far and wide that they have led to tribal and national wars. One instance that comes to mind is Laman and Lemuel who through their mis-judgment of their brother Nephi’s character (2 Nephi 5:3) morphed from a family division into a national one and affected the whole population of ancient America. Such misconceptions can be passed down and become actual family traditions. It was certainly the case in Lehi’s family where his errant sons’ posterity, the Lamanites, became ‘a wild, and ferocious, and a blood-thirsty people, believing in the tradition of their fathers….(Mosiah 10:12). This wrongful tradition caused the Lamanites’ to be a ‘scourge’ to the Nephites that led to their destruction (2 Nephi 5:25).
I am always amazed when I hear someone say that they no longer speak to their parents or that they are estranged from some member of their family. Their stubbornness and hardness of heart does not allow for any mercy or empathy that might resolve the situation. I have seen this in my own family between my mother and my grandmother. Their relationship differences became a family animosity that lasted for years. In the end nobody could remember what exactly started it but people clung onto it and my grandmother died not having spoken to her daughter for decades even though they lived across the road from each other. The same stubbornness existed between my father and my grandfather who hardly spoke to one another for years. When I visited Croatia in my 20s I was astounded that my father lived so close to my elderly grandfather and hardly ever visited him. How could you not speak to or care for your elderly parents? I could have passed this hideous ‘tradition’ on to my children but I didn’t and one thing made a difference. I became a follower of Jesus Christ in my youth and became a believer in the importance of family relationships. Later on in my life I learnt the importance of forgiveness and that made all the difference.
Now here is something interesting to be learnt from the story of Nephites and Lamanites who were at each other’s throats for generations. When Alma spoke to the people of Ammonihah, he told them that the Lamanites’ incorrect traditions had caused them to remain in their state of ignorance and because of it the Lord would be merciful to them and that ‘at some period of time they will be brought to believe in his word, and to know of the incorrectness of the traditions of their fathers; and many of them will be saved…’ (Alma 9:16,17). This indicates that innocent people get caught in false beliefs somewhere down the line which is not their fault until the Great Deliverer steps in and through His great mercy delivers them from their ignorance. So you see not all is lost because there is someone greater than us who can lift us out of our human frailties and save us from ourselves.
If you want to see evidence of what one person’s influence can do, read the two book of Kings in the Old Testament. After King Solomon, who turned to worshipping other gods in his later life, the history of Israel went south. One king after another either led the people into idolatry or true worship of Jehovah. Their influence was astounding. One such king stands out to me who is true proof of the power of one. His name was Jeroboam. Because Solomon turned away from the worship of Jehovah, the nation of Israel was divided into northern and southern kingdoms. The northern kingdom consisted of ten tribes who were given into Jeroboam’s hands. This king was chosen and destined for something good and noble (1 Kings 11:26-38). Because of his insecurity, however, he led the 10 tribes into idolatry (1 Kings 12:26-33) from which they never recovered and which eventuated in their scattering. For generations after him, whenever it was recorded that Israel was in apostasy, reference was made to ‘Jeroboam, who made Israel to sin’. This reference became ‘an indelible stigma’ in the history of Israel. I became so transfixed by the influence of this one man that I counted this repeated reference 14 times in the books of Kings (1 Kings 14:16; 15:30, 22:52; 16:26; 2 Kings 15;9,24,28; 13:2; 14:24; 3:3; 10:29; 23:15; 10:29; 17:21). Imagine being known as someone who led a whole nation of people astray and led them to their demise and destruction. Here too, the Saviour’s mercy comes into play as evidenced in all the prophecies of Israel’s scattering and gathering in the latter-days, the beginning of which was started with the restoration of Christ’s Church.
The more I learn about the Saviour, the more I become amazed at how well He manages to understand and save us from so many conditions of life. I spoke to my daughter yesterday who is trying to un-revel her mental health issues. I asked her if she might consider the possibility that God could heal her. She replied that she needs to own her own journey to health because only she knows herself and which paths she needs to take to bring about her health. I sorrowed to hear her say this because there is one person who actually does know what it is like to be her. I could have argued that point because I had come to know of the Saviour’s healing power myself but she was not open to hear this at this point in her life. I hope that one day the Lord will open her eyes to her own ignorance and that she will seek His healing. It is her life journey and I need to allow her to own it. My parents didn’t allow me my journey when I was a teen and wanted to join the Church. It resulted in a lot of pain for all three of us which estranged me from my family but luckily it didn’t last beyond one year and our family relationship mended. I learnt a lot from that experience.
Wherever you are and whatever difficulties you have experienced within your family, may you realise that forgiveness, love, empathy and mercy begins with you. If these traits are beyond you, then believe that there is someone who can grant you the power to this path. This power is in Him whom we worship and follow; in Him who knows all things and is capable of all things. By the virtue of our discipleship we have the right of access to His perfection of character if only we believe and seek it. May we have the faith to approach the merciful heart of Christ to make of us who we should be so we can be the force of righteousness and light in our families for generations to come. May we allow Him to be the lamp unto our feet now and forever.
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