A GLIMPSE UPWARD

I have carried with me a sense of powerlessness my whole adult life. I know I did not bring this with me from my pre-existance because I know instinctly this is not who I am. I am not a powerless person yet the sense of powerlessness has been the bane of my life and has held me back from my fullest potential and greater success in this life.  I consider my spiritual life well developed but anything of temporal nature has been a struggle for me and fulfillment in many ways has eluded me. This sense of powerlessness has damaged my self-esteem and robbed me of self-belief to the point that I have many times felt I have been a failure in my life. Recently the frustration of this noose around my neck reached its peak.

I have known for some time that this weakness had come to me from many generations of my family who were poor oppressed European peasants, that had existed from the time of the feudal system to socialism, and who believed they could never rise above their station in life. I had seen this powerlessness perpetrated in my family throughout my childhood and early adulthood in Europe. I have known my family's thoughts, their false beliefs and their words of affirmations that invited suffering into the lives of my immediate family. From the time that I have received the Gospel in my life, I have not been able to understand why I was born into this lineage. I am the different one, the one that seeks and knows and loves God. The one that has largely departed from my roots. My recent sense of frustration over my life sent me to my knees where through bitter tears I spat out to God that I hated my family and all the generations I have come from; that I hated who they were and what they have saddled me with. I had never expressed such venomous thoughts before, to myself or to others, let alone to God. I begged to understand why I was sent into this family and why I carried their burden.  Within half an hour of my prayer, my heart and mind were flooded with immense understanding.

When the Saviour said  'my sheep hear my voice' (John 10:27) he was referring to those who are so spiritually advanced that they  recognise and wholeheartedly embrace the truth when it is presented to them. Bruce R. McConkie taught it is a spiritual gift that was developed in pre-existance. I was 16 when I sought and immediately accepted the Gospel into my life. I count myself as one of His sheep. What has all this got to do with my ancestors? It was given to me to understand that those who are His sheep are often sent to families who need a spiritual shepherd to help them with their unbelief. I came to understand that the sense of powerlessness in generations of my family had blinded them to a 'hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal' (Moroni 7:41); that what once was a temporal has now become a spiritual stumbling block.  I came to understand that no amount of saving ordinances which I can do here in the temple can do anything for them unless this sense of powerlessness was removed  so they can believe that they can rise to godhood.  I came to understand that my long held desire to bring souls unto Christ had more to do with generations of my family than with any other people I can yield influence over living here during my life time. I came to  understand that it is up to me to eliminate this feeling of powerlessness in my life and therefore eliminate it from generations past and generations to come. This made me understand that what we do and overcome in this life reverberates throughout generations that have been and the generations that are yet to come; that it reverberates through the genetic cord which binds us and unites us in a collective effort to rise to our potential; that what we achieve and overcome here in mortality echoes throughout eternity. I came to understand that we are one and that the power to lift one another to higher ground that we might all become co-heirs with Christ is one of the greatest tender mercies of the Lord.

Living by faith is a hard road. Glimpses into heaven such as these however make the journey bearable and the road illuminated. They propel us upward and above the world. They open our hearts to the witness of the plan of salvation and the reality of our real home. They make us know who we are; that we belong to Him who has loved us and made us free, to Him who has prepared heavenly mansions for our eternal abode; Him who has spiritually begotten us as His sons and daughters; Him who has made the immortality and eternal life of man possible; the Saviour, the Redeemer, the Everlasting Father, the Almighty God, the Son of Righteousness, the Great I Am, the Lord of Glory, the King of Kings, the Stone of Israel. All glory be His forever.

"Hast thou not known?

Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God,

the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth,

fainteth not, neither is weary? 

There is no fathoming of his understanding.

He giveth power to the faint;

and to them that have no might 

he increaseth strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, 

and the young men shall utterly fall:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles;

they shall run, and not be weary;

and they shall walk,

and not faint."

- Isaiah 40:28-31

THE PRODIGALS

In my 40 odd years in the Church I have sat in many Sunday School lessons and heard the Parable of the Prodigal Son as found in Luke 15 rehashed many times. I have seen it looked at from the good son's perspective, from the Father's perspective and from the prodigal's perspective but all the views have missed the bigger picture which helps us to understand more fully what this parable is really about - Christ and His redemptive power. To me this parable highlights the intellectual genius of the Saviour more than any other because in it He covertly speaks about himself. The parable tells of a father who had two sons. The younger son grew restless and pleaded with the Father to grant him his inheritance so he could make his own way in the world away from his family. The father complied and gave him the monetary value that equaled his share of the assets he would have inherited upon his father's death. The son made some very unwise decisions and spent his inheritance on riotous living until he had nothing left and was reduced to living with swine and sharing their husks to assuage his hunger. Upon much reflection, he made a smart decision for once, to return to his father and beg a position as his servant knowing full well he could not receive another inheritance. However, his father welcomed him back into the family with compassion and joy and reinstated him as his son. When the older brother saw the celebration upon his brother's return he was outraged because he immediately assumed he would have to share his inheritance with his erring brother. The father however, assured him that his inheritance was intact and all that the father had belonged to him.

The father of this parable can in every way be symbolic of our Father in Heaven who respects our free agency and welcomes back anyone who returns to him with compassion, forgiveness and immense joy. The younger son represents us, the prodigals. We are on daily basis, bit by bit,  spending our inheritance through the sins of mortality and some of us will in the end, stubbornly, spend it all. The oldest and good son at first glance represents the penitent, covenant children who remain faithful and will inherit all the Father has.  However, the good son was also the first son so in a wider sense he represents the First Born of the Father, the Saviour himself, but with a huge difference. Whereas the parable's good son was reluctant and fearful he would have to share his inheritance with his brother, the Saviour, from the beginning, propagated and promoted His willingness to share the inheritance with his erring younger siblings. But the loving kindness did not end there. He offered His power to bring us back to the Father as well. The parable's good son never sought him who was lost, despite the kinship, despite the brotherhood, despite the Father's sorrow over his loss. What does this tell us about Christ and His willingness to lay down His life so He can bring us back through His atoning blood? Because of his perfect nature and the purity of His love, meaning there was no motive for self-advancement within Him, He was able to say: I will not only make it possible for them to come back, I will also share with them all that I have.

I have been spiritually faithful all my life, carefully guarding my inheritance, and whilst recognising that I, like everybody else am not free from sin, I had not fully resonated with the prodigal son until I realised that I, like him have made unwise decisions in my life, not exercising the power of foresight when I made them. Because every decision carries with it consequences and repercussions I have suffered much over the years because of them. For more years than I care to admit, these decisions had exhausted my feelings of self-respect and damaged my self-esteem perpetuating my lack of self-forgiveness. But the Atonement is infinite. It covers all sin and all foibles of mortality and its ensuing suffering, even that of bad decisions. And where there is repentance, there is forgiveness. Our sins have already been suffered for and forgiveness extended, in advance, so that we would not suffer beyond our repentance. Our repentance must include self-forgiveness because if it doesn't, we are in essence affirming that we do not fully believe what Christ can do and we do not fully accept the gifts of His Atonement. The Atonement is not only cleansing but also consoling (See "The Infinite Atonement" by Tad R Callister, p 205). Like a salve to a wound, it relieves the pain and heals the once broken, the once torn, the once damaged, the once suffering. To this I testify. Its' restorative power makes us whole and justifies us when we are judged according to our mortality. To be spiritually justified means to be once again aligned with God. It means all our sins, our bad choices and our unwise decisions can be swept away. It means the prodigals can return. It means they can once again be safe, be loved and never be lost again.

From the forgiving heart of Joseph Smith:
"At one point Oliver Cowdery had disassociated himself from the Church. Joseph was anxious that he repent and return. He instructed his clerk: 'I wish you would write to Oliver Cowdery and ask him if he hasn't eaten husks long enough'." (Smith, "Doctrines of Salvation", 1:227)

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

There is much talk today about the Universe among the modern day philosophers who seek to promote the law of attraction. One of their theories is that you should not ask for anything because that sends the message to 'the Universe' that you are lacking and putting out the message of lack attracts lack. In other words, whatever you say and think attracts the like because the Universe 'seeks' to match the vibrations which you send it which suggests that the Universe is mindless. They argue that words like 'want' and 'hope' should be eradicated from our vocabulary because they contribute to the lack mentality. Rather, they reason, when in need of something you should think and speak as if you already have it. Whereas imagining and saying that we already have what we want is a great way to exercise faith, it should in reality be the method employed after we ask and not a method that replaces asking. Consider the story of Lehi who said "I have obtained a land of promise" (1 Nephi 5:5) after God had revealed it to him and before he set foot on the American continent.

Whereas laws have been placed in the Universe that allow us to receive according to our actions and obedience (D&C 130:20,21), there is a huge flaw with the world's theory of the 'mindless Universe'. The law of attraction largely surpasses God in the equation because it eliminates the action of asking encouraging us to believe we will get it no matter what. It suggests the Universe is an entity devoid of the mind of God. It also surpasses and denies the mediator in whose name we have the right to approach God and place our petitions before Him. These two factors combine to perpetrate a gross violation of the spiritual law to love God and glorify Him through His Son. The world tells us we do not need to believe in God so we are led to have faith in His creation rather than Him. Because the Universe can be seen and there is scientific proof of it, it is easier to worship it and ignore the very first commandment, to love God.

Jesus said to His disciples: "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." (John 14:13). By asking in Christ's name we acknowledge Him and His supreme role in our lives as our Creator and our Saviour. By acknowledging Christ, we acknowledge the Father and glorify His name (John 14:9,10).

I know there are many pragmatic people in the world who prefer to have faith in practicality of life and their own capabilities rather than exercise faith in a being who they cannot see and do not understand the workings of.  How can we comprehend God and his ability to be mindful of all His children and attend to so many of us at the same time? There is an interesting scripture that could offer an explanation for this. When Moses saw God face to face, God gave him a vision of the earth and every living soul that belonged to it and 'their numbers were great, even numberless as the sand upon the sea shore' (Moses 1:27-8). The interesting part is this: The scripture says 'there was NOT A SOUL which he beheld not' (v 28). it does not say that he saw masses of people but that he saw souls. Now how could Moses see numberless people, individually, in such a short time, perhaps even all at once? The scripture goes on to say that he discerned them by the spirit of God. This gives us somewhat of a glimpse into the mind of God and how it works, because it is clear that God's spirit allowed Moses to see things the way God sees them. This would suggest that God is able to entertain multiple thoughts simultaneously. He does not think one thought at the time like we do. If He can think multiple thoughts at once, that means He can have more than one child on his mind at any given time too and know their thoughts and hear their prayers all at once. This could also explain how Christ, being God, could atone for infinite number of people at one time without losing individual focus (see "The Infinite Atonement" by Tad R. Callister)

We of the finite minds and finite world do not understand what it means to be a God and the power and capabilities that lie within godhood. Beyond the realm of our finite limitation lies faith. Without that limitation we would be as gods, understanding as they do and knowing as they know. This is our goal and our destination, but for now it is our responsibility to recognise the path that will get us there and in the process to glorify the Father through His Son who has proclaimed: "This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). We cannot bypass the reverence that He so fully deserves. This is the path and there is no other; this is the way and there is none else; He is the way, the truth, the life....