THE FATHER OF MY SOUL

Some years ago I sat in Stake Conference singing my favourite hymn "Redeemer of Israel" and as I sang a vision opened up to me in which I saw myself in my pre-existence preaching to spirits who were not converted to the Plan of Salvation as advanced to us by Jesus Christ. Afterwards as I reflected on this vision I came to understand that I was very converted to the Saviour and His plan before I was born into mortality. Over the years I have had other revelations and dreams which have given me a glimpse into who I was back then and what my purpose is here. Another significant insight came form of my patriarchal blessing which told me that my time of coming to this earth was set in order that I may fulfill a great promise which I had made in my pre-existence. It went on to say that many of the spirits who were with me at the time rejoiced when by my own testimony I fulfilled that vow by entering into the waters of baptism.

I didn't know any of these significant facts about myself when at the age of 16 I started searching for the truth. I was born and raised in Europe in a very Catholic background so I had a very deep faith in God. I didn't, however, find answers to a lot of my questions in the Catholic faith so I started investigating other religions, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints being one of them. The more I investigated the Church, the more answers I found and I knew they were true. I felt strongly I had to be a part of this religion so I made contact with the Church asking to be baptised. On 19 April 1975 I entered the waters of baptism and took upon myself the name of Jesus Christ. When I came up out of the water the Spirit descended upon me so strongly that I wept. I felt like I had come home.

I didn't really understand everything about baptism when I entered the baptismal font 40 years ago. I just knew that it was right and that my sins up to that point had been washed away. After these many years however, I have come to understand the most significant aspect of being baptised. What I understand now with great clarity and joy is the new relationship we form with the Saviour as we enter the waters of baptism. When we are baptised by proper priesthood authority and take upon ourselves His name we automatically become spiritually begotten children of Jesus Christ. Thus the Saviour becomes our new father surpassing in importance Elohim, the Father of our spirits and the mortal father who gave us a body of flesh and blood. This is an amazing concept to me. So many fathers yet the most important one is the one through whose atoning sacrifice we stand to inherit eternal life. We learn this truth through the symbolism of the ordinance of baptism. Baptism is symbolic of both birth and death. It symbolises birth as we emerge out of the water just as a newborn baby emerges out of the watery womb. It also symbolises death as we are buried in the water and rise again which rising represents new life through Jesus Christ who overcame the sting of death through His resurrection.

I received a personal witness of becoming a daughter of Christ following my baptism. My parents were very opposed to me being baptised and as the result I had to choose between them and the Church. I chose the Church and left my family. Shortly after my baptism I had a dream where I found myself in a particular house with my parents. Suddenly we became aware of a lot of commotion on the street. As we came out of the house to see what was happening a white matter akin to snow fell on top of us and buried us. We immediately started digging our way up to the top. I was the only one that made it through and did not see my parents again. As I emerged I saw whiteness everywhere I looked and as I turned to my right I saw the Saviour with outstretched arms coming towards me saying: "Where are my children?" This dream at the time confirmed to me that I had made the right choice to be baptised but now I view it as more. Over the years it had become clear to me that I was being told that my baptism had gifted me a father that would not only lead me to eternal life but would be a father to me in this life in every sense of the word.

We seldom think of the Saviour as our father. We are more conditioned to view Him as our Brother or the Son through whom we come to the Father but in reality coming to one is like coming to the other for the Saviour and the Father are one (3 Nephi 11:27).  This oneness suggests that there is another dimension to the title of the Father the Saviour has taken upon Himself. What I love about this is the personal aspect of this title. A father is someone who is meant to love you, lead you, protect you, provide for you, discipline you, chastise you, guide you and be a good example to you. All these things and more the Saviour, as our father can do and does do. He lives up to this role magnificently. One of the fatherly attributes I wish to expound upon here is that of a provider. We can find many evidences of this fact in the scriptures. As we are studying the Book of Mormon this year I will use Lehi and his family as the prime example.

When Lehi asked his sons to return to Jerusalem to obtain the brass plates from Laban, Nephi did not hesitate because he knew that God would not ask anything of us if he did not provide the way for us to accomplish the task (1 Nephi 3:7). Eight years and many challenges of the wilderness later, Nephi was even further convinced that God  provides means "whereby [we] can accomplish the thing which he has commanded [us]" (1 Nephi 17:3). After eight years of travel this group of colonists arrived to the seashore being guided by the Liahona which was provided by the Lord. The land to which they were brought to by the seashore was so plentiful in food that they called it Bountiful. In this land the Lord had prepared and provided all things that they would need to not only subsist but to make the journey to the promised land (1 Nephi 17:5). These were the conditions that existed in the land of Bountiful (identified in Warren P. and Michaela Knoth Aston, In the Footsteps of Lehi: New Evidence for Lehi's Journey Across Arabia to Bountiful [1994], p 28-29):

1. Fresh water available year round.
2. 'Much fruit and also wild honey' (1 Nephi 17:5-6, 18:6)
3. Fertile ground in both the general area (17:5, 8) and the specific location (17:6) where Lehi's family camped
4. Reasonable access from the interior desert to the coast
5. A mountain prominent enough to justify Nephi's reference to 'the mount' and close enough that he could go there to 'pray oft' (18:3, see also 17:7)
6. Shoreline (17:5) suitable for the construction and launching of a ship (18:8)
7. Ore and flint for Nephi's tools (17:9-11, 16)
8. Enough large timber to build a seaworthy ship (18:1-2,6)
9. Suitable winds and ocean currents to take the ship out into the ocean (18:8-9)
10. No population residing in the area.

Could Lehi and his family make such a monumental journey to the American continent if the Lord did not provide the means, the guidance, the instruction and material for construction of a ship? No. As prepared as they were for the wilderness experience, this family could never had survived let alone crossed oceans to another continent they did not even know existed. 

King Benjamin called us all beggars before God (Mosiah 4:19). I have been one such beggar from the time of my baptism until the present day. I have witnessed many times the hand of the Father as the provider in my life. His mercy has been without end and His goodness without limit. I will recount just one here that might prove this point and bring someone hope in their desperate moment. After I was divorced I struggled terribly to financially support myself and my two children. One particular day I realised I would not have enough petrol for my car that week until the next pay day. As I knelt in prayer that morning I asked the Father for $20 to fulfill this need. I then went to work and during the course of the morning forgot all about my petition. As lunch time rolled around, a work colleague approached my desk and put $20 on it. I asked him what the money was for and he said that he was coming back to work from lunch and noticed this $20 note on the pavement. He picked it up and thought to himself that he didn't really need it and as he did so, I immediately came into his mind and he said he knew he had to give the money to me. In my mind, the money that particular day did not fall out of someone's pocket but out of the hands of a Father who provides for the children who have taken upon themselves His name. Such a small thing but such big proof, one that has sent me to my knees over and over again. The petitions have been many over the years and the blessings outnumbered them all. The needs I had not even anticipated have been met by One whose foresight and wisdom astound me. And for those petitions which He denied over the years, I thank Him, for they supplied the growth and an increase in faith that I had not imagined. I stand in awe of His wisdom. I stand in awe of His love. I stand in awe of the Father of my soul.

"And he loveth those who will have him be their God..."

(1 Nephi 17:40)