THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

 

In Section 64 of the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord gives us some very valuable advice about forgiveness: “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (v 9).  

Forgiveness can be quite complex because it can involve so many issues such as wanting justice but not receive it and feelings of worthlessness that can accompany that void. Feelings of injustice can canker your soul. This I believe is what the Lord meant by the sin being greater in him who does not forgive. This is also the condemnation: you condemn yourself to ongoing damage to your self-worth and the Lord condemns you for stagnation of your spiritual progress.

Forgiveness is central to Christ’s character. It is the divine attribute through which He became the Saviour of our souls. And it is important for us because through it we become like Him. This is the path of forgiveness that leads us to possession of Christ-like nature: Forgiveness equals compassion, mercy and love which ultimately might bring the offender to Christ and therefore to the saving of his soul. If it doesn’t, it will still lead to the saving of your soul.

I learnt about this crucially important character trait through my divorce. It was a time when I studied about the Atonement and its power in great depth. I discovered that forgiveness would heal all my hurts and injustices. I invested myself in it and found Christ at the center of it. It wiped away all my pain and restored me to life again. I haven’t looked back since.

In the 30 years I have been divorced, I have sat through many lessons that have talked about the importance of eternal marriage and family.  It used to wreck me back in the beginning. Even though the divorce offered me much needed relief back then, I am and always was deeply passionate about the plan of salvation and the importance of family. 

All I ever wanted in life was to be married and to have children.  And I did get that but I also lost it.  That loss of a dream was excruciating and forced me to re-define my whole standing in the Church and to evaluate the strength of my testimony. 

It is never easy to be alone in the Church. You just have to value yourself enough so that others will too.  I have carved a space for myself in the Church where I believe people see my strengths more than my cracks. I found that space one day on my visit to the temple.  I used to attend with trepidation after my divorce but this one day I noticed something very significant there - men and women sit separately.  They do not sit together like they do at Church projecting a picture of marriage and family. 

I understood then, the temple is as much about individual salvation as it is about marriage and eternity.  The Church is about the individual as much as it is about family.  The gospel is as much about being a disciple of Jesus Christ as it is about finding someone to share your eternal destiny. The Saviour values you because he has died for you personally, irrespective of your marital status. 

When he visited the Americas, He invited the multitude to come to Him one by one to feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet. (3 Nephi 11:14) Why?  Because he wanted them and us to know that the Atonement is personal and that He had atoned for each one of us individually and not for the humanity collectively.  His sheep are numbered and there is not one that is overlooked. We all belong in the fold.  

When I go to Church I know there is a pew with my name on it. I feel good about myself because I know that’s where my spiritual progression began, and where it continues to this day. Forgiveness did that for me. It gave me the freedom to become who I am. There is a pew at Church with your name on it too. Own it. You have the right to sit in it.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: One by One by Walter Rane)