When Nephi, being the dutiful son that he was, inquired of God the meaning of the tree of life that his father had seen in a dream, an angel appeared to him to tutor him. When the angel asked Nephi if he knew what the tree represented, Nephi answered that it is the love of God, most desirable above all (2 Nephi 11:22,23). Immediately following his answer he was shown a vision of the Savior during his mortal ministry. It becomes very clear through Nephi's vision that the love of God is manifest to his children through the gift of his only begotten son.
Living on this side of the veil and experiencing the harshness of mortal life it is easy at times to feel unloved by God because he allows misfortune to befall us or we don't get in life what we want. We wonder how He could possibly love us when we are in the depths of despair and need so much that we don't have. All the while we are wondering where the love of God is for us, He is hoping against all hope that we would open our eyes and see that He could not give us greater proof of His love than He has already done so through His son. Why would Jesus be the ultimate expression of God's love for us? Because through him God is offering us the greatest gift he could possibly give us, the gift of eternal life. This life is but a moment, a few years of school so to speak but eternity is forever. For this reason God's greatest desire is not that we have everything in this life but in the next.
It has puzzled me that a lot of us, even members of the Church, don't quite grasp this principle. In my reflection on this I am beginning to think that this is so because a lot of us don't quite understand who we really are. Maybe I should rephrase that. We don't quite FEEL who we really are. If we truly felt and understood our divine origin and knew ourselves as first and foremost the offspring of God with a divine destiny we would wade through this life's gutters much easier.
When Moses had his experience with God sometime after the burning bush and before the Exodus, Jesus who appeared to him and spoke to him on behalf of the Father through 'divine investiture of authority' called him 'Moses, my son' on a number of occasions. God showed Moses all his creations and where man fitted in that plan. Moses who was brought up in Pharoah's court to believe that Pharoahs due to their birthright are gods, was astonished and said, 'Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed' (Moses 1:10). As soon as he had said that, the adversary appeared and immediately addressed him as 'Moses, son of man' to divert his attention from his spiritual and true identity and almost as an affirmation that man truly is nothing. God reappeared, however, and gave Moses the same vision all over again but this time he finished it with the greatest statement that was ever made: "For behold, this is my work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). What the Lord tried to say to Moses was that he was wrong, that 'man is the underlying and overriding purpose of all His work, that man's success constitutes his glory, that man is everything'. (Ted Gibbons, OT Lesson 1)
I became aware of three struggling young men over this Christmas period which has led me to think about this deeply and how the adversary seeks to cloud our true identity through the lense of this earth life. The first young man is a son of a friend of mine who is inactive in the Church and struggling with a homosexual lifestyle. He is angry that God has given him this to struggle with. He feels he cannot be happy in or out of this lifestyle. I suggested a few things but she answered that he is not yet ready to tackle 'overcoming' the problem, that he first needs to accept who he is. I wasn't sure if she was suggesting that being a homosexual is who he truly is and that he needed to accept it but I replied with conviction that this is not who he is but what he is while he is immersed in this lifestyle. Who he truly is is a son of God and he will not discover this spiritual origin looking for it in the world. Instead of being heavily immersed in the Church to find himself and make sense of his burden, he is alienating himself further and fostering more and more resentment towards God.
The second young man is a returned missionary from my daughter's mission field. He has not only gone inactive but has had his name removed from the records of the Church and proclaimed himself to be an athiest. When my daughter asked him why he doesn't even believe in God let alone the Church, he replied 'I have no reason to believe in Him'. I shuddered to hear this. It is like an invitation for the universe to give him a reason to believe, a very painful reason. I fear for that young man because I believe he will be brought down to his knees one day. He was given to know the Savior and the truth that so many people are desperate to find and he has discarded it as a thing of naught. The greatest love, the greatest gift the Maker of the Universe could possibly give us, the chance for eternal life with eternal happiness and glory. I am hoping this young man will come to his senses one day.
The third young man is a close friend of my daughter's who was visiting his family for the holidays and struggling so badly beneath the crippling burden of negativity his father was hurling at him during his stay at home. When he contacted my daughter he could barely breathe he was under so much stress and anxiety brought on by his father's verbal abuse. He has been subjected to this kind of treatment all his life. Now that he is an adult he is struggling to make something of himself because his sense of self worth is so damaged. His mind tells him what his father says about him is not right but his heart is working overtime trying to believe it. My heart aches for this young man because he has a father who loves him beyond his understanding who would never hurl such poisonous words at him that would damage his soul. This father has given him something so great at his own cost so this young man would understand that he is worth so much that such a high price would be paid for his eternal welfare.
How do we get to know who we truly are so we can withstand this world that works so hard to tear us apart? The same way that Jesus found out who he was. There is no possible way that Jesus would have become the savior of all mankind if he didn't find out who he truly was and what he had covenanted to do before this earth life even began. Luke tells us that 'Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and man' (Luke 2:52) He also waxed strong in spirit and thereby was given precept upon precept until he had it all (Luke 2:40). By the time he was 12 he was preaching in the temple. I am certain that the more the Savior studied the scriptures and the more he communed with his Father the quicker he learnt who he was. No doubt he had angelic visitations that assisted and ensured his spiritual growth. I do not for one moment believe that the tools we have been given are any less than the Savior had at his disposal. We have the scriptures, we have the open channel of prayer, we have the right to call upon angels to assist us and we have most importantly the gift of the Holy Ghost. All these tools when used consistently ensure that we come to know God and our relationship to Him like Jesus did.
Because Jesus is the embodiment of the Father's love for us, the more we acknowledge Him as our Saviour and strive to live his teachings, the greater becomes our capacity to feel God's love for us. The more we feel God's love, the greater our relationship with Him and the greater our conviction of our spiritual origin. Once we have that conviction intact, it is so much easier to put this earthly life in perspective. It also becomes easier to handle and understand our burdens and trials. The alternative to not putting in this effort is to go throughout life filled with resentment, bitterness and suffering. God cannot remove our trials from us and make this earthly life an easy ride, else what would be the point of being here? What He can do is what He has done, provided the best possible way for us to be connected to Him and to feel His love. This is what we should be reminded of every Christmas when our attention is being directed towards the Saviour's birth.
King Solomon went to great lengths to bring in 'living water' into Solomon's temple to wash away copious amounts of blood from animal sacrifices. Blood signifies sin and living water symbolises Christ. He is the living water, not just any water but water that gives and sustains life, life eternal. The Saviour knew so well who he was when he was here. In scriptures He proclaims himself to be The Great I Am. Can you believe that's who he is when you read what he says about himself:
I am the bread of life (John 6:35)
I am the good shepherd (John 10:14)
I am the resurrection and the life (John 11:25)
I am the light of the world (John 8:12)
I am the way, the truth, the life (John 14:6)
I am the true vine (John 15:1)
I am the first and I am the last (Isaiah 44:6)
I am the Great I Am.
And who are we? If He is the Great I Am and we are the offspring of God who come to God through His Son, then we are great too. He makes us so. Make a list of all the things that you are but at the top of that list put I am a son/daughter of God and then see what other things come to mind following that statement. I guarantee there will be more positive attributes than negative ones. It's all a matter of perception and consistent focus. Be that son or daughter of God you were born to be for this is who you are first and foremost. All else is of little importance. Live so that you are worthy to feel that love which is constant and which will feed your soul, which will bring you life eternal.
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