EVERLASTING FREEDOM

 

I watched an episode of Border Security the other day that made me reflect on the principle of the Gospel that grants us everlasting freedom. This is the principle is forgiveness.

In this particular episode I watched a British citizen being denied entry into Australia because he had a brush with the law seven years ago and had served 18 months in jail as a consequence. He was pretty devastated about this refusal but more so because he claimed sorrowfully that this one transgression in his life was going to follow him around for the rest of his life despite the fact that he has learnt from that experience and has strived ever since to be a law-abiding citizen. I could see how demeaning it was for him to be still considered ‘a criminal’. I wondered if he would ever see himself as a good person again.

My first thought was, indeed a criminal conviction is something that you are never free from. Once you are a criminal, you pay the price for the rest of your life. My second thought was, I wish I could shout from the rooftops that there is someone who does not only forgive wrongdoing but remembers it no more (D&C 58:42)…..that there is someone who can make you clean again and grant you freedom forever.

I thought about all my weaknesses and ‘earthly indignities, as I call them, and how sensitive I have become over the years to any wrongdoing, and I could not imagine a life without repentance and forgiveness.

I knew someone years ago who had left his wife to live a homosexual lifestyle. A few years later I saw him and his forgiving wife at the temple. It was a success story of repentance and forgiveness like no other. I reflected back then too on the amazing grace of our God who has secured our freedom from sin and paid the price of justice we could never pay ourselves.

Imagine the loss of souls if there was no forgiveness. Without it we would become nothing. Consider Alma the Younger who suffered the godly sorrow asked of every repentant sinner, an intense sorrow which lasted for three days and which cast him into the very 'gall of bitterness' (Alma36:18). 

Obviously’, the Saviour didn't require more than that of Alma.  He did not require him to live in the past or the future beating himself up for what he did.  What He did require of Alma was for Alma to become a great man.  A man who would be an instrument in His hands to convince others of His great power to save. 

Alma, who in his youth went about with the intent to destroy the Church became Alma who led the Nephite armies in battle, who sat naked with Amulek in dungeons, who was spat upon by the unrepentant, who dumbfounded an anti-christ, who baptised thousands of souls unto repentance (Alma 4:4,5), who the Lord in the end took up unto himself (Alma 45:19).  Alma certainly did become that great man that the Lord needed.  Could he have ever become a great man if he had not been forgiven? I rather think he would have spent the rest of his life thinking he was worthless.

I am in awe of the ‘Man of Sorrows’ who had promised forgiveness ‘though our sins be as scarlet’ even before he had felt the burden of our infirmities (Isaiah 1:18). I am in awe of His mercy and His love. The older I get the more I feel the overwhelming reliance I have on His salvation. He has made my earth life possible and my eternal life a surety because of His forgiveness of my humanity. I am in awe of His ability to liberate the beauty in me. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: I Will Comfort You by Jay Bryant Ward)

GODLY SORROW

 

“It is not uncommon to find men and women in the world who feel remorse for the things they do wrong. Sometimes because their actions cause them or loved ones great sorry and misery. Sometimes their sorrow is caused because they are caught and punished for their actions.

“Such worldly feelings do not constitute ‘godly sorrow’. Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. It is the sharp and keen awareness that our behaviour caused the Saviour…..even the greatest of all, to endure agony and suffering…..and to bleed at every pore.”  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “A Mighty Change of Heart”, Ensign Oct 1989, p 4)

Repentance and its needed remorse is not just for breaking of commandments and committing serious sin or even indulging in weaknesses or even causing harm to others, as much as it is needed for all of that. It is also much needed for those moments when resentment about our lives arises and we entertain rebellious feelings that tempt us to give up. When allowed to fester, these feelings take on a power of their own and cause us to abandon the strait and narrow path.

I have had such moments in my life and then God would send me some much-needed perspective that would make me seek forgiveness through bitter tears. I know many would say, it is not important that we fall but that we get up again and keep going. That is sound advice but when you are a perfectionist, those moments hit you hard and make you feel like you are not being as valiant as you once were before you were born.

I know we were fired up about mortality in our pre-earth life but now that we are here, we have moments when enthusiasm wanes. I know people who have left the Church due to bitterness and resentment because of their hardships and have concluded that the Gospel is either not true or God doesn’t love them because if He did, He would not allow such things to happen. I know one person who has said, “why do I have to wait until next life to have everything, I want it now!”. This is lost perspective and I wonder if she’ll ever get the proper one back because she has been inactive for a number of years now.

Godly sorrow truly is a gift because when we have it we recognize our offences against God and  without it, we disparage and under-value the Father’s Plan of Salvation for our ultimate eternal happiness and the Saviour’s suffering to pay the price of justice on our behalf so we can be worthy of it. Godly sorrow recognizes the priceless gift of eternal life through the two people who love us the most. It gives us in return another gift that keeps us going…….gratitude.

 

You have fed me from the banquet of your love;

Your arms have cradled me

in the eye of the heaviest storm;

You have led me to reach the heights of faith

to me unknown.

You are my Sovereign,

My wings of protection from the cold,

My eagle in flight

To pilot me home.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: In His Tender Care by Jay Bryant Ward) 

OF SUFFERING AND JOY

 

 

In my quest for deeper understanding of the purpose of suffering, I opened one of my favourite books this morning to glean some wisdom. I will first bear witness that God leads us to understanding when we are ready for it and when we knock on heaven’s door seeking it.

So today I gained the perspective I longed for because up to now all I have known of suffering did not amount to what I feel is completion. I gained this perspective through the most simplest way I did not expect. Here is the story that opened my greater understanding:

“A few years ago our family inherited a dog, a friendly little pup who was all black except for two white paws and a splash of white across his chest. For our three sons he became a real pal. One afternoon I was interrupted at work by a call from home that told a sad story: “Dad! Dad! Our dog is dead!”

“I have seldom seen such looks of gloom as those that met me when I arrived home. A motorcycle had come out of nowhere, nobody really knew how it had happened. We laid the rumpled little body to rest in a corner of our backyard in a ceremony that was brief but mournful. I don’t know when I’ve heard so many questions asked all at once about the meaning of the Resurrection…..the boys were despondent beyond comfort.

“After that experience, my wife and I resisted for a while our children’s repeated requests to get another dog. Among the reasons why we were reluctant was our desire to spare our children the grief of another event like losing the black puppy. But we also found ourselves wondering whether the joy of companionship with a new puppy would not more than offset that risk…..”  (Elder Bruce C. Hafen, “The Broken Heart” p 81-82)

My eyes opened wide as I read this last sentence and I understood what Elder Hafen said next: “The gospel teaches, that the presence of painful experiences is an important element in man’s capacity ultimately to experience joy and not just because it feels good when the pain stops.”

I came to see how essential is the willingness to experience suffering in this life for the joy we will be able to experience eternally. As spirits we would have never been able to gain this ability. What we needed was the suffering of mortality…..the same suffering that we constantly seek to dull, avoid and neutralize to the point of addiction to drugs, alcohol, food, sex and all worldly pleasures.

Imagine if Jesus was drugged or tranquilized on His way to Calvary so He could feel no pain. The Atonement would have been null and void. His suffering was the greatest proof of the principle of needed suffering for the capacity of joy (Hebrews 12:2). This he attested to following His resurrection when He told the Nephites: “My joy is full” (3 Nephi 17:20).

Imagine the scope of His suffering and then the corresponding scope of His joy: “…the fulness of joy for one such as He must be richer, fuller, and more exquisite than we may ever know in mortality….That is worth remembering when our own pain seems sore and exquisite (See Alma 36:21).” (ibid p 86)

Mansions on high and riches of eternity have never really been my motivation to strive for godhood. Things are not so important to me…..but joy is……especially now that I have experienced and endured suffering. Now I understand why the Father wants us to have eternal life….not for the mansions but for the joy. 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Forgiven by Thomas Blackshear II)

A LAMP UNTO OUR FEET

 

There are two valuable privileges that we have in the Church that go together as well as bacon and eggs. I speak of the scriptures and revelation. This is my favourite subject and this is why, they both involve the heart to be understood. I have a personal testimony of this because I understand the scriptures more emotionally than intellectually.

I always thought we are all wired differently so my understanding comes differently to others but it would seem the operative word in the scriptures and revelation is ‘the heart’, which we all have:

“Revelation comes as words we FEEL more than HEAR. Nephi told his wayward brothers, who were visited by an angel, “Ye were past feeling, that ye could not FEEL his words” (1 Nephi 17:45). The scriptures are full of such expressions as: “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart” (D&C 8:2), or “Speak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts” (D&C 100:5). There are hundreds of verses which teach thus of revelation.”  (Boyd K. Packer, in CR Oct 1994, p 77, Ensign Nov 1994, p 60)

But this is not all, something is needed of us who are listening: “Nephi teaches us, “When a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost, the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth [the message] unto the hearts of the children of men” (2 Nephi 33:1). Please notice how the power of the spirit carries the message UNTO but not necessarily INTO the heart.

“A teacher can explain, demonstrate, persuade, and testify, and do so with great spiritual power and effectiveness. Ultimately, however, the content of a message and the witness of the Holy Ghost penetrate into the heart only if the receiver allows them to enter. (Elder David A. Bednar, “Seek Learning by Faith” [An Evening with Elder David A. Bednar], Feb 3, 2006] www.ldsces.org

It is obvious from these two quotes that we ultimately receive the most knowledge and understanding from the scriptures and revelation combined together with our willingness to receive and incorporate into our lives the truth that is given.

When Jesus taught the people of Capernaum, He taught them in parables. The Gospel of Mark says: “And with many such parables spake he the word unto them, as they were able to hear it.” (Mark 4:33) Joseph Smith changed the word ‘hear’ in the Inspired Version to “bear’ ( v 33a). To bear something involves the mind and the heart.

What we are given in the scriptures is meant for all of us. In fact the Lord confirms this several times in the Doctrine and Covenants by saying: “This is my voice unto all” (25:16) and “I give unto you a commandment that what I say unto one I say unto all” (D&C 61:18; 82:5; 92:1; 93:49. The revelation that we receive though whilst hearing what He tells us adapts the needful application to each of us as we need it and tells us how we can utilize it. Unless we are open to the revelation that follows, we are missing out on the real purpose of the scriptures.

I see your eternal flame

in the deepest caverns of my heart.

Your words are a lamp unto my feet;

The pillar of fire that keeps me warm

The beacon of light that will lead me home.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art:  Light of the World by Douglas Bentley)

TRAIL OF LOVE

 

When the lawyer asked Jesus, “Which is the great commandment in the law?”, Jesus answered:  “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

The first one is rather simple: “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). The second one, in my opinion, is a little bit more complex. The inference here is selflessness as opposed to selfishness, that we should want for others what we want for ourselves, and that we should treat others as we would want to be treated.

The question begs to be asked, how much do we love ourselves? Our behaviour towards others is often a mirror of our inner selves. Do we love ourselves enough to make others feel loved? I am not talking about prideful love of self that elevates us in our minds to be above everyone else, but an appreciation of self and our self-worth.

If we see ourselves less than everyone else, and think nothing of ourselves, we will think nothing of others too. You simply cannot exude love if you don’t have it within you. How we see ourselves is usually how we see others too. If we are in the habit of undermining ourselves, we will tend to do the same to others.

If we do not love ourselves, we will most likely suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anger, resentment and unhappiness and this will reflect in our behaviour towards others. Love is much needed in this world and it needs to start with us so that we can extend it to others.

I am generalizing here and do acknowledge that there are exceptions to the rule. As a rule of thumb though, lack of self-love seems to be true for a lot of people and often it has a lot to do with our upbringing, abandonment, abuse, constant criticism etc. This is a deep issue that requires insight into the root of self-perception and realization that healing is needed both on the psychological and spiritual level. All I am saying here is that you cannot assuage someone’s thirst from an empty well so the well might need some serious attention.

As we draw closer to God and discover our spiritual identity, healing becomes a reality affording us an understanding of our self-worth. From there self-love is much easier to embrace.

Some people are natural conduits of love. It is their spiritual gift…..for the rest of us it is a challenge in one way or another but for all of us it is a commandment. The Saviour is the epitome of selflessness. He has left a trail for us to follow so we can become like Him, but until then, may we allow His selfless love for all to flow through us to our neighbour…..and lastly, if we love God, other commandments just follow….

Your footsteps, so big and so deep

Swallow my feeble feet;

I try to keep up

To tend Your vulnerable sheep;

To gather the lost,

To clothe, to feed;

So many for my poorly

Devised shelter to keep.

Illuminate my steps dear Saviour

With Thy glorious light;

And grant me Thy power

To feed them from Thy godly heart.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Guardian by Kelsey and Jesse Lightweave)

THE MIRROR

 

“The Saviour desires to save us from our inadequacies as well as our sins. Inadequacy is not the same as being sinful – we have far more control over the choice to sin than we may have over our innate capacity. We sometimes say that the Lord will not save us IN our sins, but FROM them. However, it is quite possible that He will save us IN our inadequacies as well as FROM them.

“A sense of falling short or falling down is not only natural but essential to the mortal experience. Still, after all we can do, the Atonement can fill that which is empty, straighten our bent parts, and make strong that which is weak.

“The Saviour’s victory can compensate not only for our sins but also for our inadequacies; not only for our deliberate mistakes but also for our sins committed in ignorance, our errors of judgment, and our unavoidable imperfections. Our ultimate aspiration is more than being forgiven of sin – we seek to become holy, endowed affirmatively with Christlike attributes, at one with Him, like Him. Divine grace is the only source that can finally fulfill that aspiration, after all we can do.

“The truth is not that WE must make it on OUR own, but that HE will make us HIS own.”

-        Elder Bruce C. Hafen, “The Broken Heart”, p 19-20

This, among many other reasons, is why I love Paul the Apostle, a missionary to the Gentiles for 35 years, a servant of Jesus Christ, scourged, beaten, persecuted, stoned, shipwrecked and martyred: he had a ‘thorn in the flesh’ (2 Cor 12:5-10)…..an imperfection, a weakness, an inadequacy….

Paul is the perfect scriptural example of what Elder Hafen spoke of. Paul gives us two explanations for the ‘thorn’ in his flesh. This is the first: “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh…..” (v 7). He could see plainly that his calling in life which brought him to spiritual greatness could also bring him to the altar of pride. The thorn served a great purpose to keep him grounded in his humanity and mortality.

The second is this. After repeated pleadings that the Lord remove the thorn, Paul was told ‘no’. Hence the lesson in grace. Perhaps the Lord preferred a humble Paul to a prideful one but Paul understood something more significant: “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (v 9)…..in other words, I would rather have a weakness that would bring me in the end to Christ than not…..

Paul, who sacrificed all for Christ, and who endured much suffering for His name’s sake was torn between his eagerness to ‘depart and be with Him’ and his desire to stay and serve Him (1 Philippians 1:23-26). He remained faithful to the end despite his ‘thorn in the flesh’…….

I looked in the mirror today

And didn’t like what I did see

Then I remembered that one day

Dear Saviour, I will be like Thee.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Gentle Saviour by Jay Bryant Ward)

THE ONLY ANSWER

 

“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go”.   – Abraham Lincoln

There comes a time in life when you know that God is your only answer……for comfort, for understanding, for help, for healing. I can testify of His efficacy because I have experienced it in my life. It’s a time when you know nothing and nobody of this world could come to your rescue and fix what seeks to destroy you. When a storm so big and so violent and so soul crushing comes into your life, and you cry out for help, the Saviour comes to do what He alone can do, He comes to save.

I think of a great moment in His ministry when Jesus showed His capacity to do so. Whilst preaching in Capernaum, His fame had spread so far and wide that ‘multitudes from Galilee, and from Judea, and from Jerusalem, and from Idumea, and from beyond Jordan, and they around Tyre and Sidon’ came unto Him’.  They pressed upon Him to touch Him and ‘even unclean spirits, when they saw him, fell down before him, and cried, saying, Thou art the Son of God’(Mark 2:7-11).

So great was the multitude who were by the sea on the land that the Saviour had to enter a ship to preach to them (Mark 4:1). When they had dispersed, and evening had come, the tiredness had overcome Him and He slept through a violent storm. This is the moment of His humanity that sears my heart. I cannot fathom how intense that three-year mission was for Him as He traversed the dusty roads of Galilee and Judea on foot with no doubt little rest.

And this is the moment when the Saviour showed His saving power. As the storm increased it became obvious to His disciples that it was beyond their power to control the vessel they were in. And this is something significant. They were experienced fishermen who knew how to handle a boat in the storm but they called upon Jesus, the carpenter.

They knew that He was the only answer in an unbeatable storm and there was nowhere else to go. And this is how they knew. When Jesus proclaimed Himself as the bread of life, many of His followers stopped following Him. When Jesus asked the Twelve, “Will ye also go away?”, Simon Peter answered: “Lord, to whom shall we go?.....we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.” (John 6:66-69)

 

He arose and rebuked the roaring winds

 and the raging sea.

He, who with His word

caused the earth to be,

Spoke to the Galilean tempest:

“Peace, be still”.

He who has all things

under His command,

Calmed the troubled sea of dismay

in the souls of men.

He, who holds all humanity

in the palm of His hand,

Caused the waves of the sea

to whisper His name.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: Coming to Save You by B. Laura Wilson)