HERE AM I

 

 

I read a scripture this morning that brought tears to my eyes. The occasion was Jacob’s journey to Egypt to be reunited with his beloved son Joseph. When Jacob came to Beersheba, he offered sacrifices to God and God came to him ‘in the visions of the night’ and called him: “Jacob, Jacob” and Jacob answered: “HERE AM I” (Genesis 46:2). When he arrived in Egypt and the Pharoah asked him how old he was, Jacob answered, 130 ‘evil’ years but in Hebrew the correct translation is ‘sorrowful’ or ‘full of toil and trouble’ (OT Institute Manual, (8-20) p. 97). Consider how hard Jacob’s life was: he had to leave home to escape his brother Esau who sought to kill him; he served Laban for 20 years who constantly cheated him of his wages; he had to deal with constant contention between his wives; his pilgrimage in the land of Canaan; the death of his wife Rachel; and sorrowing for Joseph for 16 years. Never before has the story of Jacob touched me to the depths of my heart like it has this year. After all the hardship he suffered, Jacob was still able to respond ‘here am I’, with readiness to obey whatever God wanted of him. It has made me reflect on my own willingness to answer such a call despite my shallow belief that I have already given ‘my all’. If I was called, would I start recounting all my trials and sacrifices or would I only utter, “here am I”…….

 

I have noticed this answer to God’s call with other notable people in the scriptures, namely: Moses (Exodus 3:4); Samuel (1 Sam. 3:4); Isaiah (Isa. 6:8) but the most poignant would have to be this one: “HERE AM I, SEND ME” (Abraham 3:27). No greater example of readiness to honour the Father exists than that of the Saviour who I am sure did not hesitate to first count the cost of His offer. He would go no matter how thorny the road and how heavy the cross. He would go and He would do. As we near Easter, may we reflect on this offer without which there would be no mortality, no salvation,  no joy. Without this offer there would be no us.  

 

Who is like unto Thee, O Lord,

Among the gods?

Who shelters Thine own

In the depths of Thy heart;

Who reveals the strength

Of Thy holy arm

To protect the weak

And the broken hearted;

Who sorrows for the lost

And pays the price of

The crucible cost.

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: King by David Bowman)

ABRAHAM AND THE GOD OF MERCY

 

I have loved The Old Testament for decades because it has opened my eyes to see the merciful Jehovah. Consider the life of Abraham and triangle of trial that involved obedience, love and anguish. It is the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar.

 

To recap: The ancient custom dictated that if a married woman could not produce children for her husband after ten years of marriage, she was to give him another wife. This Sarah did out of obedience. She gave her young maid, Hagar, to Abraham for a second wife. Hagar was not just a maid though, Legends of the Jews claim that Hagar was one of Pharoah’s daughters whom Pharoah gifted to Sarah when she and Abraham left Egypt (Ginzberg, Legends of the Jews, 1:223). If this was really so, you can imagine how a young girl who was raised in royal courts felt when she became a maid and a wife to Abraham, when he was 86 years old and that any children she had by him would by custom legally belong to Sarah? The story of Hagar tugs at my heart. When her life became unbearable, Hagar fled but she met the God of Israel in her flight, who told her through an angel that He had ‘heard her affliction’ (Genesis 16:11). This touched the depth of Hagar’s heart to such an extent that she called the name of the Lord ‘THOU GOD SEEST ME’ (v13). The merciful Jehovah not only told Hagar that He sees her but that He will make it up to her for the hard life she was called upon to live. He promised her that her son will become a great nation (Genesis 17:20) and that his posterity ‘shall not be numbered for multitude’ (Gensis 16:10). What consolation that must have been to Hagar who had to watch her son be overlooked as Abraham’s heir! 

 

When Jehovah reaffirmed His covenant to Abraham and promised him an heir once again, Abraham beseeched Him to accept Ishmael as his heir because Abraham loved Ishmael but God refused and named a future baby by the name of Isaac as the heir of the covenant (Genesis 17:19). Not only the promise but reassurance, “I have heard thee” (v20). In other words, I SEE YOU TOO and I will make it up to you. Jehovah promised Abraham that his posterity would be as innumerable as the stars of heaven (Genesis 15:5); that he would become the ‘father of the faithful’ and the founder of the covenant race through whose posterity all the nations of the earth would be blessed (Genesis 17; 22:15-18). And then the mercy…..He also told him that Ishmael would be included in the fulfillment of that promise because he would be blessed with 12 sons and God would make of him ‘a great nation’ (Genesis 17:20). Does this not make you want to weep?

 

Sarah, who languished until her old age, in obedience, waiting for her promises to be fulfilled, became a mother of nations, and ‘kings of people came of her’ (Genesis 17:16). But that is not all, she paved the way of belief that if God can cause an old, barren woman to conceive, He can also make a young, virgin girl to do so and bear a Son of God. How honourable her merciful  blessings that God gave her! This makes ME want to weep…..

 

The God of heaven sees all and He makes up for it all, to those who seek Him and would have Him be their God.  May you, who are in the waiting room, receive an increase of faith in the God of Abraham.....the God who fulfils His promises through grace and mercy, now and forever.   

Who is a God like Thee

Jehovah, our King?

Who sees our frailties

Who heeds our pleas;

Who answers in mercy

And runs to our relief.

Who is a God like Thee?

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: Encircled in the Arms of His Love by Eva Koleva Timothy)

THE JEWELS IN HIS CROWN

 

A friend told me once that if the Saviour suddenly came to our chapel one Sunday, He would walk right past me and go to the sinner who was not being obedient, that because I was doing well, I was not as important. I was crushed by this but reasoned that I should not be like the Prodigal Son’s brother and should accept that the sinner that needed to be saved was all that mattered. Yes, we are all sinners but some more so than others. The righteous are the faithful who keep yielding their hearts to God and who keep repenting whilst others persist in their rebellion of Him. 

Whereas I do not wish to discredit the worth of a sinner, my intent here is to highlight the worth of the righteous because this week I read something in the scriptures that sent waves of joy through my heart. When the Saviour visited the spirit world post crucifixion and before resurrection, He did not walk past the righteous to go to the sinners (D&C 138:20-22). In fact, the righteous were the only ones He went to, the ones who had heard His voice, who accepted Him, obeyed Him and who awaited Him to rejoice in His gift of redemption. They were the ones who welcomed Him and sang praises to His holy name (v23-24). The only ones He preached the gospel to were the saints who were already converted, who deserved to hear the words of eternal life from His lips (v19; to hear Him declare liberty to the captives ‘who had been faithful’ (v18). To the rest, the Saviour sent his faithful servants to preach the everlasting gospel of repentance (v29-30). 

To you, who are the faithful saints of His Church, I want to say this: You are cherished and valued beyond your capacity to understand. You are the ones who make it all worth-while, the ones who bring Him joy. You are the jewels in His crown (Malachi 3:17). You are the sheep who hear His voice and who obey, the faithful who sustained Him in realms of eternity and who will worship Him forever. May you embrace your cherished heart this day and be filled with the unfathomable love of Him who sacrificed His all that you might live and have fulness of joy (D&C 93:33; 138:17; Moses 7:67).

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: The Good Shepherd by Eva Koleva Timothy)

ABRAHAM, THE FATHER OF THE FAITHFUL

 

What shall we remember Abraham for the most? His obedience, his faith, his trust, his goodness or his righteousness? Abraham is known by more than one name, the most known being ‘the friend of God’ (James 2:23). I personally love ‘the gatherer of souls’ because he preached the gospel wherever he lived and collected converted souls (Genesis 12:5) but my favourite is ‘the father of the faithful’ (D&C 138:41). This title  connects us to this amazing patriarch because we are ‘the faithful’, and if we’re not, we should be. Whether we have been born in the covenant or adopted into it, he is the father of us all, therefore when God said to him: “Thou shalt walk uprightly before me, and be perfect” (JST Gen 17:1), He issued that statement to all of us that belong to the family of Abraham.

 

Abraham was exceptional even before the beginning of his mortal life. When he was shown the great spirits that resided in pre-existence, he was told that he was one of them and that he was ‘chosen before he was born’ (Abraham 3:23). There is something interesting about that. When the Lord appeared to Abraham, He introduced him as Jehovah and showed him all His creations and explained who exactly He is: “I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all….my wisdom excelleth them all, for I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath, over all the intelligences thine eyes have seen….my name is Jehovah and I know the end from the beginning….I am thy God” (Abraham 3:19,21; 2:7,8; 1:19). We read the interaction between Enoch and God along the same lines. After showing him all the workmanship of His hands, He declares Himself to Enoch in the most powerful manner: “I am Messiah the King of Zion, the Rock of Heaven…” (Moses 7:53).

 

My point is this. The Saviour of this world was the firstborn of the Father. He was the perfect Son and therefore the perfect Brother. The Exampler who paved the way to obedience, who lifted us to heights we could not reach on our own even back then. He was the Shepherd long before we became mortal sheep, the Shepherd we followed and believed and chose to be our God.  We, alongside the greats like Abraham, became great in our pre-existent state because of the perfect example we followed. This is evident in Section 138 of Doctrine and Covenants.  The influence He has over us now would have been double-fold back then when we were in His presence. I testify of this because I was told once during a prayer: “My Atonement is my gift to you because you were so valiant in your testimony of Me long before you were born.”

 

How can I contain the magnitude of You

In the meagre chamber of my heart?

How can I absorb the brightness

Of Your light that outshines the rays

Of the brightest sun?

How can I explain the lightness of my being

When You lift me up on wings of faith

Making real the wonder of You?

My love knows no limits

My honour of You, no bounds;

My needy reach to heaven’s door,

To concede, in spirit I am forever poor.

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: Uplift the World by Eva Koleva Timothy)

FULFILLING OUR PURPOSE

 

I am amazed at Moroni who did everything in his power to preserve his life, only to wander in loneliness between 385 A.D. to 421 A.D. (Mormon 6:5; Moroni 1), totally 36 whopping years. And here is something interesting. Moroni didn’t spend 36 years just evading the Lamanites who hunted and killed anyone who wouldn’t deny Christ  (Moroni 1:2,3), he instead did something extraordinary….he wrote extensively and preserved the plates with intent to bring us and the very same people who hunted him for his life to the knowledge of truth ‘in some future day’ (v4). This is what I call mortal valiancy. Because of his valiant efforts, we now have the Book of Mormon. 

 

I don’t know what Moroni’s 36 years looked like. I don’t know if he ever felt so lonely and depressed that he was hitting the floor but I do know that he endured to fulfil his purpose because in his farewell he said: “….the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God, and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by THIS MAN…???” (Moroni 10:27). We all have a purpose and something to achieve in this life, and that something, no matter how small, if achieved during our mortal endurance, will not be counted less than what Moroni achieved. 

 

I have experienced acute loneliness in my life and I know I have only survived it because of the sustaining power of the Great Exemplar who endured it all and could say: “…..I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (D&C 19:19). What a gift He has given us by His power of creation (Helaman 14:12; Moses 1:33; 2:1); the gift of mortal lowliness that He might lift us to immortal heights. This is the God we worship, this is the God we love, this is the God we follow. May we praise Him now and forever. 

 

My mortality spreads before me day and night,

I wince at bearing this heavy load.

I stumble and I fall,

The darkness seeking to swallow me whole.

I know He waits at heaven’s gate

Till I have learnt to walk the rough domain;

I will hurry, I will run

I will grasp the heaven’s hand

That will lift me to His arms

Forever there to remain.

 

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art by Liz Lemon Swindle)

EVERLASTING HAPPINESS

 

In my reading of the BOM this morning I came across an interesting scripture where Mormon reiterates that Jesus has brought to pass the redemption of the world which can bring us into the presence of God to enjoy ‘everlasting happiness’ (Mormon 7:7). I have always believed we would have everlasting happiness in the Kingdom of God but have at times wondered how that can be for those who become gods and continue to have children forever, knowing the mental anguish and sorrow children can cause.  

 

We know that even in pre-existence we, as children, caused the Father anguish and sorrow because one of His children of great promise, who was in authority in the presence of God, who was called ‘son of the morning’, rebelled against Him and caused a third of His children to become the sons of perdition (D&C 76:25-27). So great was he that the heavens wept over him. I cannot imagine the anguish and sorrow of our heavenly parents to lose such a child of promise, let alone a third of their children, knowing they will live forever in outer darkness.  When Enoch had his encounter with God, he witnessed Him weeping over His creations because of their wickedness (Moses 7:28). So we know that God experiences sadness and anguish as well as happiness in his godly state. 

 

There is hope though……In Doctrine & Covenants 18:15, we are told if we bring even one soul to Christ, that great shall be our joy in the kingdom of the Father. If our joy will be great, imagine the Father’s joy to see the return of many of His children. Losing a third of your children is devastating but retaining two thirds means hope of great joy. I hope we,  who have accepted His plan of salvation and who are now experiencing our second estate,  can make up for those who have rejected Him by honouring the trust and hope He has in us. May we have the desire in our hearts to bring Him joy and be a delight in His hand. I am certain that He who was and is a perfect Son of all His sons, who was ‘in His bosom’ from the beginning (D&C 76:25) makes up double fold for the son He has lost. May we follow in His footsteps to do the will of the Father in all things that His joy in us might be magnified and in some measure make up for the sorrow for those who are lost.

Grant me the hope Father

In this darkness

That I will one day see Your light;

And spare me Father the afflictions

Of my lonely heart.

Bear me up as on eagles’ wings

And carry me into

Thy benevolent embrace

That we might never again part

But instead bask in the union

Of our celestial hearts. 

 

- CATHRYNE ALLEN

(Art: Joy by Yongsung Kim)

THE HEALER

 

I want to add my testimony of this significant quote by Toby McKeehan: "When you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of His garment".....

 

I have found over the years that turning to friends for solace and understanding of my problems has always come up short. Even women who were also single mothers failed to understand me because their response to the same situation was different. There is an explanation for that. We are an assortment of capacities, personalities and attributes, therefore, what is overwhelming hardship for one might not be for another. Because of this, the well-meaning friends tend to offer advice that is based on the understanding of their lives and not yours. I am not discrediting the value of good friendship but my testimony based on my experience is this: there is no one who can understand what it is like to be YOU. No one has ever walked in your shoes or had a turn in your skin......except for one person who has experienced your life within the crucible of Gethsemane and trailing the hill of Calvary. 

 

In your darkest moments, hang onto the fringe of His garment with overpowering faith knowing that your life matters to Him who has borne your sorrows and been in the depths of your heart. 

Courage take my fellow Israelites, He will never us forsake......

 

Your lessons, so piercing

And so raw

Leave me spent

As I exhale the hurt and let it go;

Your wisdom prevails

And tutors me when I need it most;

You are the healer who saves

The broken and the lost.

• CATHRYNE ALLEN 

(Art: A Thread of Faith by Howard Lyon)

IF ALL PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED

 

”If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith. 

If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there would be no evil – all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls. Should all prayers be immediately answered according our desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, nor eternal life and godhood.” 

(President Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, p 97).

 

I have just one thing to add to this powerful message. Years ago I read an article written by a young woman in the Church whose father had died of cancer. She described his end as horrific. She said she learnt that the popular belief that ‘God would not give us anything we could not handle’ is false. She was convinced that God would do exactly that, for one purpose and one purpose only, to bring us to Christ, because this is what happened to her father. I wholeheartedly agree with this concept because I believe that everything in this life is designed for this very purpose: to bring us to the Saviour who can make us mighty to endure; deliver us from any evil; and ultimately bring us to salvation. Whatever the plan for our life, whatever the individual tutoring we have agreed to before we were born, we have this promise: “I will go before you and be your rearward; and I will be in your midst…..” (D&C 49:27).

 

The winds of tribulation scatter my hopes

Like feathers they lift to the sky.

They find you there ever waiting to answer my pleas;

To restore that which is lost,

To renew that which is broken,

To gift that which was never foreseen,

To make me rise to heights unknown.

 

- CATHRYE ALLEN

(Art: The Master's Call by Phil McKay)