THE FLAWS WITHIN US

When I joined the Church some decades ago, I believed in my youthful naivety that all members, especially the leaders of the Church, were perfect. It has taken me 40 odd years to fully realise that perfection is a long road because I am still driven to my knees on regular basis to seek for forgiveness of my follies and imperfections. As much as I strive to be true to my covenants, it's the little things that get me, the so called flaws of character, the traits of humanity, that keep me over and over in my state of imperfection.

Recently a friend of mine told me that she now believes that Joseph Smith lost his way as a prophet  because he was flawed. To this she added her dismay with the imperfections of present day leaders which she no longer considers prophets, seers and revelators because policies in the Church are changed and retracted and there doesn't seem to be consistency with leadership. I have pondered on this for quite some time. When I was on my mission in Perth I was taught that obedience is everything, no matter what the rules are. For example, my Mission President insisted that the sisters wear stockings all through summer because stockings encouraged us to be dressy when we were out proselyting. The summers in Perth were almost unbearable.  My Mission President, not being a woman, had never worn stockings and therefore did not understand how uncomfortable and unhealthy it was to wear such synthetic material in such extreme heat. But the rules were rules and we sisters wore stockings in summer. The next Mission President abolished this rule because he did things his way. And this is the point. Even though we are taught to seek revelation regarding our callings, we each bring with us, our own talents, understanding and perspective. I believe this is our prerogative. I believe we are meant to exercise our initiatives and our individual talents and skills for our own growth and to reach different people for the common good of the Church. And sometimes we make mistakes which affect others adversely. This too, however, serves a purpose of growth; repentance on the part of the offender and forgiveness on the part of the offended. The Church is not perfect, because we are the Church and we are not perfect. What is perfect is the Gospel and that does not change. The Lord uses who He has and who is willing, not who is perfect. To expect perfection from the leaders of the Church is to deny their humanity.

Peter who walked and talked with Christ was impetuous and rash in his actions and perceptions of Christ's teachings. He even denied knowing Him (Luke 22:54-60). We do not know the true reason why he did but the important thing to remember is that he only denied his association with Him, not His divinity. Peter might not have been perfect but he was also a man of faith and humility who grew almost overnight to become so mighty that people laid their sick in the streets so that the mere shadow of Peter would heal them (Acts 5:15). Another example of imperfection from the past is King David. I am constantly amazed by his life. Here was a man who loved God with all his heart and inspired the whole House of Israel to follow Him. Yet he fell from grace abominably. The Lord knew in the beginning that David would eventually fall and lose his exaltation (D&C 132:39) yet he called him anyway to be the king because He knew what He could and would accomplish. David achieved incredible heights in his leadership which to this day is regarded as the golden age of Israel. And despite his eventual gross crimes of adultery and murder, God covenanted with him anyway that he would raise Messiah through him and his lineage (Acts 2:30).

So how does the Lord choose his leaders? He certainly does not measure them by the level of their perfection. Why not?  Because firstly there aren't any perfect people to choose from and secondly, so that we would continue to worship Him and not mere mortals. Even if there were perfect people I believe they would not be chosen because they are not meant to draw people to them but to God  (D&C 1:19-24). Could we ever dispute the Lord's reasoning when He himself proclaimed it so: "Wherefore, I call upon the weak things of the world, those who are unlearned and despised, to thrash the nations by the power of MY Spirit" (D&C 35:13). Not by our own strength but by His. By 'my spirit' the Lord here indicates that in reality we are merely vehicles through whom He performs His work that all might know that He is the one true and living God and that we might not trust in the arm of the flesh (D&C 1:19); that we are to serve and worship Him and Him alone.

When the early apostles were seeking a replacement for Judas in the Quorum of the Twelve they prayed to know which of the two under consideration the Lord would have because He knows the hearts of all men (Acts 1:24). They did not ask God to tell them which of the two was more perfect. This same criteria was used to choose David as the king. The Lord told Samuel: "....for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). When I pleaded with the Lord to help me understand regarding the polygamy/polyandry issue in the Church history, I received an undeniable  witness of the goodness of Joseph's heart, not his perfections or imperfections, because this is what concerns the Lord most. I believe our humanity is outweighed by the inner sanctum of our hearts.

Yes Joseph was flawed. He was young, uneducated and unwise as to the ways of the world. He perhaps didn't understand a lot of things and even acted foolishly. I don't know because I wasn't there and I didn't know him. But his doings or what the history records of him is of no consequence to me, it has nothing to do with my eternal progression. One thing I do know, I am glad that he was flawed. I am glad because it gives me hope that I too am acceptable by God.  It gives me hope that God will not overlook me in calling me to do His work despite my follies, blunders and weaknesses. If Joseph was perfect, I would feel I stood no chance because I could not live by the standards of another person's perfection.  I would have no hope of God's acceptance because perfection has so far eluded me. If other people could rise to perfection, there would be no hope for the rest of us. And I am glad that Joseph was not perfect because the only perfect being who I want to look up to is Christ. Because even with all my aspirations and my efforts, I have no power on my own to rise to the level of perfection that is required for eternal life. The only hope I have of ever achieving it is through the grace of Him who has descended below all things that He might rise above all things and receive power to lift me through His Infinite Atonement to life eternal (Revelation 5:12). It is the only way perfection can be reached. That journey begins and ends here.

We might ask ourselves why God does not interfere more in the works of men? Why does he not correct our faults and smooth over our blunders in more visible and obvious ways? Why does he allow the works of imperfect men to affect and hurt the innocent? When the Saviour comes again all governments will fall and the works of men will be counted as naught. The contrast between feeble accomplishments of men and His mighty work which will be brought about by the establishment of the peaceable and perfectly governed Millenium will be plainly seen. To what purpose? To turn our hearts towards the only way to salvation; to highlight His triumph over mortality and evil; to show that His Gospel will endure forever despite the weakness of men......He will come to make all things right and to wipe away all our tears and He will draw all men to Him that we might know that He is the light, the truth and the way; the Messiah, the Healer, the Prince of Life (Acts 3:15); the Rock of Heaven, the King of Glory, the Mighty One of Israel, The Great I am.

THE BELOVED

Have you ever wished to have a title added to your name? Have you ever wished to have a title added to your name that would describe your relationship with God? Abraham had 'a friend of God' attached to his name. What spiritual title would you like to be known by?  Sally, the disciple of Christ? Mary, the seeker of truth? Richard, the upholder of faith? Simon, the warrior of God?
My favourite book of the four Gospels in the New Testament is the Gospel of John, 'the disciple whom Jesus loved', as he referred to himself in his book. Jesus called him 'the son of thunder' (Mark 3:17) but he was and is best known as John The Beloved. I have a secret desire (I guess not so secret anymore) to meet John The Beloved because I think I could more intensely feel the Saviour's love just by simply being in his presence.  When I refer to John I simply refer to him as The Beloved. I am in awe of his name. Imagine having The Beloved tagged onto your name because it is so obvious to everyone that the Saviour loves you so much. This is the title that I want.

I see love permeating all of John's writings. Let me give you one example. Matthew and Mark wrote briefly of Christ's visit to the town of Bethany before His death. They both said that He was in the house of Simon, the leper, and 'a woman' came and anointed him with precious oil (Matt 26:6,7; Mark 14:3). Luke doesn't even mention the incident. John however, gives us a much clearer view and why it was important for it to be recorded properly. John records that six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany (John 12:1-3).  Why Bethany? Because in Bethany lived Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. This is where Jesus was loved, comforted, accepted and believed so Bethany was his place of refuge. The Passover was imminent and it heralded the beginning of the end.  Imagine with what heavy heart Jesus came to Lazarus' house for the last time. And imagine what solace He felt as the woman who anointed Him was, according to John, not just any woman but Mary, who sat at His feet and hungered for His words of eternal life. It makes sense that Mary would be the woman who would anoint Him for his burial (John 12:7). Mary anointed not only his feet but his head also (Mark 14:3), 'an act of reverential homage rarely rendered even to kings' (James Talmage, "Jesus The Christ").  Mary spared no expense for the one she loved for she anointed Him with the costly ointment of spikenard. Lazarus' family was wealthy and well known to all the Jews in Jerusalem, especially to the Jewish Council who sought to kill him because Christ raised him from the dead which caused  many of the Jews to believe on Him (John 12:10-11). And did Lazarus withdraw his hospitality and shun Jesus because his life was in jeopardy? No. We can only surmise it was because he loved Him.  So you see He was in a house of love before He began His journey to His death. John wrote this. He made special mention of it because I believe it was important to him to record that even though Christ was despised, bruised and rejected, He was also loved.

None of the other gospels speak of the discourse on love that Jesus delivered at the Last Supper but The Beloved's does. His account of the Last Supper begins with Chapter 13:1 in which he says 'He loved His own which were in the world and He loved them unto the end'. His account of the discourse of love which is related to the Sacrament and our remembrance of Him mentions love 22 times. John records the Saviour giving an amazing promise to all who subject themselves to the cleansing power of the sacrament and who are motivated through their love for Him to obey His commandments. The promise is that they can enjoy the literal companionship of the Father and the Son in this life (John 14:23). This is an amazing promise the Saviour made to those who love Him and keep His commandments. None of the other gospels record such an important promise, only John; the disciple who outran Peter to the sepulchre with a pounding heart harbouring hope against hope that the rumours were true, that He whom He loved, lived again (John 20:2-4); the disciple who loved Christ above all those that were given Him, loved Him so much that he desired to spend however long it took to stay on earth to bring souls unto Him (D&C 7:1-3). This is John the Beloved, who sat on the island of Patmos, alone, dejected and abandoned, but yet commissioned to write another book of love, the book of Revelation.

More than six centuries before John was even born, the Lord revealed to Nephi many of the things in the Book of Revelation but forbade him to write them down because they were reserved for John (1 Nephi 14:19-28). Could it be that John needed this revelation for himself more than even we needed it?  To me, it is as if the Saviour was saying to him: "You will be here a long time and you need to know everything that will happen while you are here but  be comforted John because I am coming back and when I come I will 'wipe away all tears....and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain...." (Revelation 21:4). Can you imagine seeing in a vision the sins and evils of this earth for thousands of years and than be given such hope of Christ's return who would reign in peace and harmony and love for a thousand years? What comfort that must have been to John who, like the 3 Nephites, would sorrow for the sins of the world during his sojourn in this dismal telestial world (3 Nephi 28:9). This is a story of love...love for one cherished disciple and love for all those who accept and follow Christ and have a hope of eternal life through the virtue of his atoning blood. While the Book of Revelation briefly covers the entire history of the earth, its' main focus is on the last days and Christ's triumphant return. It's whole purpose is to give us, who live here and now, hope of a better life, of Millenial peace, of triumph over evil. Why give us this hope? Because the evil in these last days that we are living with surpasses the evil of all the previous dispensations. It is this evil that He is coming to conquer and it is our tears He is coming to wipe.

I have had experiences in my life that have left me bleeding and convinced that love means pain. These experiences have come from different people and different periods of my life. From childhood abandonment to bitter disappointments from a wayward child. I know there are many, many people in the world who have loved and lost and have cried bitter tears because of it. One thing though I know for sure. The Saviour of the world will never break my heart. His love is constant and pure and If I remain faithful He will be there at the end of my journey ready to encircle me in the arms of His love. And maybe He will even call me 'The Beloved'.