Children
Come to me, O ye children!
For I hear you at your play,
And the questions that perplexed me
Have vanished quite away.
Ye open the eastern windows,
That look towards the sun,
Where thoughts are singing swallows
And the brooks of morning run.
In your hearts are the birds and the sunshine,
In your thoughts the brooklet's flow,
But in mine is the wind of Autumn
And the first fall of the snow.
Ah! What would the world be to us
If the children were no more?
We should dread the desert behind us
Worse than the dark before.
What the leaves are to the forest,
With light and air for food,
Ere their sweet and tender juices
Have been hardened into wood.
That to the world are children;
Through them it feels the glow
Of a brighter and sunnier climate
That reaches the trunks below.
Come to me, O ye children!
And whisper in my ear
What the birds and the winds are singing
In your sunny atmosphere.
For what are all our contrivings,
And the wisdom of our books,
When compared with your caresses,
And the gladness of your looks?
Ye are better than all the ballads
That ever were sung or said;
For ye are the living poems,
And all the rest are dead.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
For a long time I have been troubled by the fact that I have not been a better parent to my children and also that my parents were not better parents to me. I have agonised over the issues and hang ups that have followed me from my childhood and weaknesses and incorrect teachings and false thinking that have been passed down to me by my parents. Likewise, I have worried about all the bad 'stuff' I have passed on to my children. I read many years ago about 'intergenerational sins' and how easily we can pass them on to generations of our posterity, seemingly innocent weaknesses and faulty thinking that somehow end up being serious stumbling blocks to someone down the line. In other words, how we live not only affects us but many others whose lives we impact.
I came to understand recently that this was in fact always meant to be this way. Even before this world began it was decreed that we would be born to imperfect parents and in turn become imperfect parents ourselves. What is more, I think we chose which imperfect parents we would be born to according to what weaknesses they could give us and what strengths we wanted to develop. For us to be born to perfect parents from whom we could not inherit weaknesses and problems would defeat the great plan of salvation. What would be the point of being born in a perfect world? We might as well have stayed in our pre-mortal state. Being born into mortality to parents who are less than perfect offers us opportunities to grow from overcoming those imperfections, learning accountability for ourselves and learning how to make wise choices independent of what our parents before us have done. Most importantly it offers us the greatest path we can ever take, the path to God. Everything in this life has been designed to lead us back to God, especially our humanity.
In the book of Mosiah, chapter 3, verse 19, King Benjamin confirms this truth and gives us amazing hope that all our stumbling blocks can be overcome and 'the natural man' in us overcome:
"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."
The most important point of this scripture is that it tells us we have the greatest tool through which such a tall order can be filled, the Atonement. None of us can ever become a saint spoken of in this scripture without this tool. We do not have to do this alone, we cannot do this alone. Calling on the power of the Atonment daily, seeking its' power through our faith in Jesus Christ can and will change the natural man in us into a saint of God. When praying for this power, ensure that you ask for it in those words and ask for it through your faith in Jesus Christ. Always ask for help 'through the power of the Atonement and my faith in Jesus Christ'. Words are powerful, they have energy and carry a frequency which connects us to God and to things we seek in this life.
One thing that helps all children survive their childhood is love. No matter how imperfect and dysfunctional the parents are, if the child feels loved he or she will survive it all and consider they had a good childhood. Children are resilient and forgiving and submissive. They need love, security and acceptance. If you can provide these three, consider yourself a good parent.
Don't despair over your parental skills, you are doing the best you can with who you are but make sure you seek heavenly help constantly so you can always do better. And one day when you have grandchildren and you are a much better person than you are now, you will be an awesome grandparent!!! It's a time worth waiting for.
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